Dear Cadillac Cactus,
It seems that Chuck Norris would win. Chuck Norris facts
(<http://chucknorrisfacts.com/>) place him at the top of all times in
kicking others asses.
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In addition, here are some true stories* about Norris that I came up with:
"In the 80?s it was discovered that President Reagan had an inoperable
growth on his brain. Rather than letting him die, they shrunk Chuck
Norris and injected him into President Reagan. There, he fought the
tumor and defeated it with a round house kick to the face. The tumor
died and Chuck Norris safely exited Ronald Regan?s body. Chuck Norris
then had Reagan?s tumor mounted on his wall next to the elephant that
he killed with his bare hands and the dinosaur he shot on his hunting
expedition to the Jurassic Period."
(SOURCE: Cache of Duckshit
<http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:-qFs4CMJOAgJ:www.duckshit.com/funny-stuff/chuck-norris-jokes-v/+%22chuck+norris%22+Dinosaur&hl=en>).
"The dinosaurs were not killed by a comet. Chuck Norris destroyed it
before impact. He then yelled "psyche!" and proceeded to kill every
dinosaur with his bare hands."
(SOURCE: Unknown facts about Chuck Norris (or: The Man Behind the Stubble)
This biography of Chuck Norris brought to you by Adam Almighty (check
the blog lists to the left) and http://www.4q.cc/chuck/, at "But I
Digress", <http://spaces.msn.com/members/mrazing13/Blog/cns!1p38_lVfcCH_WwPcaRjWHu7Q!342.entry>
)
"What if a T-Rex ate Chuck Norris?
Chuck would viscously Roundhouse kick his way out of the T-Rex's small
intestines. After kicking clear out of the stomach of the dinosaur,
Norris would turn, see the now dying T-Rex's freakishly small arms,
call it a "pansy" then proceed to swallow the T-Rex whole."
(SOURCE: SuperHero Hype, "What If..."
<http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showthread.php?t=215115&page=2>).
"The only thing that could kill a Dinosaur is a giant ape, and the
only thing that can kill a giant ape is Chuck Norris. And only Chuck
Norris can kill Chuck Norris."
(SOURCE: Evil Avatar Forums (Archive),
<http://www.evilavatar.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-8348.html>).
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* They are true in the sense that I truely found them on the Internet.
And the Internet doesn't lie, does it?
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I hope this answers your question. Please contact me if you need any
clarification on this answer before you rate it. |
