hello researchers et al.

so granny just sucked up her mini headphones into her Hoover 27.0 Wind
Tunnel and had to take the gizmo apart.  now she got this vac on a
recommendation from a friend who had one and said that *zero* hair
winds around the brush apparatus, which was granny's gripe about her
old Hoover.

so what do I find when I unwind the headphone cord digestant?  yep,
you guessed ... enough hair to make a phalanx of Barbie dolls yeti
costumes for Halloween next year.

now don't get me wrong, granny loves her Hoover.  it gets up dirt she
never knew she had and almost wishes she didn't know about.  it has a
great plastic see-thru emptying device so you how much true filth
you've been living in and it's bagless.  it also has attachments on
board and it's self-propelled.

however, it doesn't leave those nifty "hey, I just vacuumed for you,
bucko" lines which kinda gives granny a "why bother" attitude.  then
there's that ubiquitous hair problem.

so what's the answer?  is there a vac out there that sucks everything
directly into its four-chambered ruminating belly and coughs up a
giant bezoar post vac session?  and why the heck not?

does anyone have any direct experience with a Dyson?  I need something
that doesn't have brushes to drag across the carpet and gather wig
debris.  any suggestions, wiseguy comments, or general gabbery
appreciated.

thanks,
GB

Howdy, Gran.

I live in a house full of pets (plus hubby & me, both with rather long
hair.) We use a big ol' shop vac on the carpets. After a vacuuming
session, you just unscrew the top-mounted vac unit from the wheeled
bucket, and when you look inside the bucket, there's enough hair to
knit a good-sized kitten.

What kind of heartless grandchild are you?
Your Granny deserves a pneumatic, explosion-proof vaccuum. 

http://www.pa.nilfisk-advance.com/product_lines/explosion_proof_vacs/product_line/cfm_explosion_proof.html

Hi granny,
I have had the Hoover WT 27.0 for about 2 years now.  No hair winds
around the brushes... all goes into the plastic storage area.  I have
very long hair and have 2 dogs.  I recommended it to a dog breeder
friend of mine who has at least 12 dogs running around inside her
house at a all times.  She loved it.

As for the Dyson, I know several people who bought it and (they also
have many pets) they thought it was worth every last red cent.

Best regards and a Happy Holidays to you!
tlspiegel

pinkster:  I cannot be responsible for hair other than my own. 

so it goes into "the bucket" thru a hose -- no teeth involved?  oddly
the term "shop vac" is granny's nickname when she's on a manic buying
binge.

this woman recommending the HWT 27.0 also had a dog and and a cat. 
they must be on some experimental hair-retainer drug or she might
secretly be a Hoover representative.

I'll checking into the shop vac's sucking method.  its instant
kitten-in-a-bucket feature sounds intriguing.

shokazulu:  now there's a person after my own locks o'love.  am I
wrong or does that thing resemble an upright stainless steel milking
machine?  maybe gran should just buy the cow instead to munch her
carpet {hey, keep it clean!}.  it already has the ruminating
compartment stomach and Lord knows granny could use the milk.

I must admit, that's one badass machine but granny has a bad back. 
the picture of me vacuuming nude in a hair net with that thing stapped
to my back and granny's got a new nick -- Quasimoto.

still I'm putting it on my Christmas list, right beneath and/or on top
of "burly Swedish cleaning lady."

der Spiegel:  I must've bought the granny-hair-attracting magnet
attachment without my knowledge then.  I just spent a half hour with
an exacto blade and a spool of expletives previously unknown in most
granny vocab sewing circles.

happy holidays to you and your "unwound" Hoover owners.  I'll take a
look at the Dyson next time.  thanks for the weighing in on this
hair-raising experience.

Having repaired several Dyson I personally don?t like them because
they reek of ?one designer,? but they do work extremely well. However,
one of them belonged to a dog with real greasy hair. The whole thing
was completely gunked up and required dissemble to component level to
restore the suck. It was a truly disgusting procedure. Were I
charging, the bill would have exceeded the worth of the machine.

Several friends with dogs and Dyson haven?t had any problem, apart
from plastic ablation, so I guess it?s horses for courses.

Best

You'll never forgive yourself if your granny dies in a vaccuum explosion. 

I think history will remember me as that guy who forsaw the great
vacuum explosion epidemic of 2005.

gee, thanks for the visual, guzzi!  don'tcha just hate those hounds
who get into your hair gel while you're at work?  oy, they're almost
as bad as the ones who smoke your cigarettes and eat the mates to your
socks.

the Hoover has a lot of power and sucks up anything within a 12-inch
radius (hence, the headset cord), but I believe I'd suck off my own
foot with shakazulu's monster explodo-milking machine.

it seems many folks don't have that hair wind/clog problem with their
Hoovers so it must be some kind of ancient, poorly understood granny
curse.  I think she's stuck with the low tech solution of a pre-vacuum
carpet raking of the perimeter unless someone comes up with a better
idea.
http://www.cleanreport.com/catlist.cfm?subid=33

a hirsute woman's work is never done.

arf and thanks for the comments!
GB