I am looking for a possible psychological/trauma disorder. My daughter
is 22. She has great difficulty in following her her peers' and her
superior's (she has a part time job) instructions. She is very, very
bad at learning through listening to others. When I gave her new
tasks, repeatedly telling her what to do (showing her how to mow the
lawn in the most efficient way, or teaching her sailing), she seemed
to understand perfectly but was very terrible at performing them (I
used to be a sailing instructor so I know her ability was well below
average). Her boss frequently mentions that she had great difficulty
understanding what he wanted her to do, despite his repeated teaching
and the fact that she tried very hard. I know her to be a hard worker
and she is fine by herself (she taught herself basics of programming
in C). But she lacks attentiveness and motivation at any sort of job,
even at jobs that she finds great interest in (reading about how to do
them, at least). I have noticed her problem for a long time and it is
troublesome because she can't keep any of her job long. Might her
inattentiveness the result of some trauma or disorder I don't know
about?

What you describe sounds like what is generally known as a learning
disorder. These can have root causes in many things, so it's not
really possible to pin it down without more information. There are
certainly times when nothing at all seems to directly cause this -
some people just don't pick things up as quickly as others. Other
people will perform only a very few tasks exceptionally, but be
terrible with the rest. In fact most of society's geniuses fall into
that category - Beethoven and Einstein come to mind as examples. Also,
there are different ways of learning and of teaching.
Teaching/learning commonly falls into these categories: kinetic
(learning by physical replication of tasks), visual (learning by
watching), aural (learning by listening). Nearly everyone will prefer
to learn in one way over the other two; bad luck for them if that's
not the way they get taught. Interestingly, the most common are
aural-visual (think of a classroom), but those are usually the least
effective, because people tend to forget more information that they
hear compared to the information they learn by attmpting a task
themselves.

Back to the possible medical causes. The first one that comes to my
mind is allergy or other similar health complications. According to
research, there is a definite connection between our diets and our
performance. (I have researched this topic myself for years, but I
don't have the references at my fingertips. I could find them if you
want precice statistics and quotes.) For example, one study of 300
children with ADHD showed that for 98% of them their symptoms could be
greatly reduced by lessening their sugar intake and cutting the most
common allergens from their diets: diary, wheat, eggs. I strongly
recommend that you look into how your daughter eats, sleeps,
exercises, etc. before you try anything else.

Another possibility could be some sort of obsessive disorder. This
disorder doesn't have to take on obvious or socially-impairing
symptoms, it could be just a matter of a heavy preoccupation effecting
her concentration. Signs of this might be: superstition during
childhood (avoiding or deliberately seeking to step on cracks, etc);
having certain rituals, habits, or even product use, and becoming
distressed when they are interrupted (freaks out if she can't get a
certain brand; must do things a certain way, though for no good
reason). If this is the case then, again, I recommend experimenting
with her diet first. If that fails, then I recommend a psychologist
who specialises in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). Please avoid
psychologists who don't specialise in CBT.

Perhaps your daughter could benefit from creative visualisation
techniques, too. If you want to look into any a good book to start
with is Change Your Life in Seven Days, by Paul McKenna. It's not
trite or clichéd as the title might suggest.

Please ask if you need further information.

Dear mast-ga,

Thank you very much for your useful comment! My daughter definitely
suffers obsessive disorder (she doesn't have allergies). She had
symptoms of it when she was 12. For about half a year she would wash
her hands while applying soap repeatedly for a certain number of
times, even though her hands were already clean. She would make the
kitchen hose look a certain way and get very stressed when she
couldn't. She had superstitions since childhood and still seems to
have them now. (Like having/not having to eat certain type of food
before job interviews, having to buy watches of same color...) Yes she
must do things a certain way and gets extremely stressed, worrying
about if she can't, despite that she knows it is wrong and worrying
about such trifles is harmful. But I think these affect her very
little now.

How does obsessive disorder affect her aural-visual way of learning?
Is constantly worrying about things that she shouldn't worry about
affect her concentration? Can she get out of it without help from a
psychologist?

Thank you, 

msei-ga

Fascinating

My literary style is also to digress - hyphens for example 
Preferably a new line to provide emphasis

White space is better.

I do (occasionally, when I am sure that the recipient will bother to
read it) resort to brackets.

Your (mutual) problem is that you are simply not talking on the same wave length

- you are transmitting (well meant) caveats
- and she is seeing a domineering Mother 
- perhaps trying to ensure that her daughter does .. rather better

It is very possible, from your prose style, that you think intensely
about everything.

That, in itself is no ( not at all a ) problem.

Unless one is a 22 year old, being force fed (sensible) 45 :) year old wisdom.

There is an element of parody in this comment
- but the jist of it is well meant (I can't resist a clarification, by
well mean't I intend to say benign advice)

Your daughter is probably shagging a highly unsuitable male.
That would account for her reticence, lack of attention 
- and general 'blankness'

Be kind to her, if things go right, she will be upset
- if things go wrong, then you'll be minding a grandchild in a trailer park
  (actually that might not be so bad)

Buy a few bottles of wine, on a Friday night, and get drunk with her
- tell her about some of your juvenile errors
- lose face, and become friends with your (nearly adult) daughter