Aol frequently advises that attachments are too large for them (aol)
to download. What alternative exists besides quitting aol?

you could buy a pop3 email address and use outlook or outlook express.

Ask that the attachments be sent via www.yousendit.com

you can forward the mail with attachment which cannot be downloaded
from aol to other mail box (for e'g:- yahoo mail box or gmail mail
box).

this would surely solve your problem

regards
MATRIX