My brother and his spouse called on the phone and invited me and my
spouse to dinner.  When we arrived, we were surprised to discover that
two or three other people were also invited.  I believe the original
invitation should have included the information that two or three
other friends might (or would) be present.  My view is that any
invitation should include a broad description of the social
configuration ("just us four," or "a few friends," or "a big affair
with quite a crowd."  My brother maintains that it's his house and he
should feel free to invite whoever he wants, and that the invitation
should be accepted or declined purely in terms of whether we want to
come.  What do the authorities on manners have to say about this?

I say be happy that you were invited for dinner;)

Seriously though, in my own opinion only, whenever I get an invitation
to someone's house, I discreetly inquire if there is anything I can
bring and if anyone else will be there so I'll know how much to
prepare.

Steph53 ( not a researcher - just a free comment )

I think it is an omition to invite someone and NOT tell them what to
expect.  Omitting the information that others are invited implies
there are none.  Personally, I think it is poor manners.

I have answered quite a few questions related to manners and
etiquette. While I could not find any online reference that deals with
this matter, I believe that most of the experts on manners would feel
that, when extending an invitation, it is courteous to mention that
there will be other guests.

More than once, my mother has invited my husband and me to dinner, and
when we arrived we were surprised to learn that we weren't the only
guests. This can be particularly disconcerting if some of the
attendees are people with whom one would prefer not to rub elbows.

I always get one of my social secretaries to check these things out.
Obviously, I also need to know what to wear: is it top hat, white tie
and tails? And should I wear my spats or not?

One cannot possibly accept ANY invitation unless the Guest List has
been cleared by Security.

"I always get one of my social secretaries to check these things out".

Wow Bryan!!!

Where can I get me one of those????????????????

Steph

You disappoint me.

As a Princess, I had expected you to have all one's usual staff.

How can one manage without the usual help?

Hi Bryan...

I find myself toiling day and night ever since my maid ran away with
my butler and my chauffeur drove off with my gardner. Thank God the
poolboy is still around ;)

Steph53