I am highly suspecting that my friend, the one I considered as my
best-friend, is lying to me in a thing that is so important. I felt
being exploited. I know her now for about 7-8 months. The question is
should I openly discuss with my friend, "why did you lie?" or should I
just keep quiet?? Please comment.

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Clarification of Question by tribe1931-ga on 09 Feb 2006 12:20 PST

When I said "best-friend" I meant the friend that I can talk to about
anything... I talked alot on the personal level...

well you should try to make sure this person lied before asking her.
If you got the information from someone else, be careful. If she s a
friend and if she lied, then understand why she did? for your own
good? for her own interest? the make a decision

o

I have gone through a similar experience.  My situation was more about
loyalty rather than lying.  Here are my thoughts.  Because you feel
"exploited," I am going to assume that your best friend did not act in
your best interest and that you have solid information that conflicts
with the image that your best friend projects.

First, your "best friend" is a new "best friend" and not one who was a
lifelong best friend.  There are a lot of people who are good at
winning your confidence in them, and then betraying it.  This event
could be a one time thing or just the beginning of many.

Second, if you keep quiet (or do nothing), that will just lower your
self-esteem.  You are better off confronting your best friend and risk
being lied to again, or turning out to be wrong.  By keeping quiet,
your self-esteem is lowered like a small leak.

Third, I think you know that if you confront your best friend, there
is the chance that your friend will lie to you again.  In my case,
when I did confront my best friend, he lied to me again.  It was
several months later in which I realized that he lied to me again.

There are many techniques for getting the truth out of someone who
lied to you or figuring out during the confrontation that the person
can't be trusted.  ("Come on now, is that what really happened?").  I
have come to the conclusion that confronting a liar is a skill in
itself.  You just can't say, "why did you lie to me?" or "are you
lying to me?"  These questions will only work if your friend is honest
(e.g. your friend lied to you because they didn't want to embarass
someone else).

Fourth, if you confront your best friend, and the misunderstanding is
cleared up to your satisfaction, chances are the relationship will
improve a lot.

In conclusion, you have a lot to gain by confronting your best friend.
 If your friend is honest, the relationship will improve.  If your
friend is dishonest, you can move on to better relationships.

Hope this helps.  

P.S. There are a lot of references on confronting liars.  Here is one.
 If I find a good summary, I will post it.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312204280/ref=wl_it_dp/104-7408250-3636731?%5Fencoding=UTF8&colid=2ELZJRD7L5WQT&coliid=I3D11ZALOT9HG8&v=glance&n=283155