My 14-year old daughter is hanging around with a bad crowd.  What can I do?

There's some useful advice here:

http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/article15.htm

Join it so you will know what she is doing.

Consider also that sometimes parents' perception of a "bad crowd" may
not be entirely accurate. When I was a teen, my parents greatly
disapproved of a young man I was dating because he drove a beat-up old
car and he had "wild eyes." The car was all he could afford, since he
was saving his money for college. The "wild eyes" were caused by a
condition called nystagmus, which is unrelated to mental instability.
The young man later went on to acquire a Ph.D, and he became a highly
respected psychotherapist.

Give her an AOL account - so that she can instant message her friends

Buy her a cell phone - super important at her age

Then take them away.

I understand the nystagmus comment.  My daughter has congenital
nystagmus and hates looking people square in the eye because of the
comments they make about her eyes.  This doesn't make her a bad
person, just one that has to work at looking at people in their eyes
and not being afraid of what people are going to say.

Insofar as the parent who has a 14 yo around a bad crowd -- choose
your battles (I say that with my TOUGHLOVE facilitator hat on) and get
to know the "bad" crowd and their parents.   A lot of teenagers are
not necessarily a bad crowd, but portraying a tough guy image which is
typical of the image that the teenagers tend to portray!

K

I think my parents handled it best. First their attempts made it
worse- grounding me, punishment of all sorts shapes and sizes. It
wasn't that I was bad- I just felt a stronge need to shock my parents
and annoy them. But then one day... they made friends with my friends.
Its annoying to see your friends talking to your parents and having
them tell you how great of folks they are. My dad started doing crazy
things... I recall him driving my sisters ex to court so he could show
up for the charges she had pressed against him. She never wanted to
talk to either of them again. As bad as it may sound you may want to
try to get to know these kids- weed out the ones that are like your
daughter and are not bad- just in the wrong crowd, and if she is in it
for shock value as I was- the fact you become "friends" with them
reduces the desired effect. One guy I dated that was the definition of
BAD got his break up note after he told me we couldn't go somewhere
because he had plans to watch something with my mother. And many
adventures were missed because most of the guys knew my dad to well to
"betray his trust". It is best to always really KNOW your kids
friends.

nutleymom.  I concur with the poster sthat suggest getting to know
these kids.  Right now you see them all as the SAME, when in fact --
they are individuals.  Get to know them.  My mom gave me the best
advice I have ever received, and it applies here:

..."KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE, AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER..."

~~Cynthia

If your daughter is hanging around a "bad crowd" for the shock factor,
you should think about why she should feel the need to "shock" you. 
My daughter has been told our expectations from the beginning...we
will trust her dependant to what her grades are, who her friends are
and what her attitude is like.  The higher standards she has in all
these area's, the more we trust her and give her the respect she is
earning.  The lower the standards, the less likely we can trust her,
the less respect she gives to herself, the less respect we will give
to her.  My daughter had a friend we did not care for the last couple
of years.  I never made her stop being friends, but I would point out
to my daughter that she was not happy in this friendship, as she
complained about each occurance of back stabbing and what not by her
friend.  It took 2 years, but our daughter finally "got it" and has
made some different friends.  Ones that we are much happier with and
so we are more open to her going to her friends house or spending the
night.  Good luck and God Bless.  Having children is the best and
hardest.  May God be with you.