me and my boyfriend together for 9month. I just spend time with his
family in last holidays. Our problem is his ex keeping calling me. We
are living in Japan now. She've call him early morning, night, weekend
, sometimes while crying. When we were cerebrate our aniversely she
called me, interputed us. It was always like that. They are candidate
of Ph.D. They had been togheter for 6 years. So I understand They are
special friendship. But sometimes I think too much. One time I
complain about her, He yelled me [She is going to be in my life
forever so forget it!] He said, He can't marry me until I accept his
relationship with ex. I even talked her on the phone one time. She got
an attitude. She said[ I am like a his family. Me and his business.
not yours] like that.She is all over the his family. When I went to
his father's house, there are their picture in flame. I tried to be
her friend or just socialize relationship but she never accepted my
applogize. Once I cuss her out on the phone.I keeping sending email to
her, even my boyfriend send to her [Could you write her back? so we
can have a peace?] but she never do. but they are still calling each
other, laughing each other. She worried about my boyfriend. Because
She think I am crazy. I have been taking a counseling about her. Her
call is like a nightmare to me. Should I forget it? Let them do what
they want?
Should I patient about his ex's phonecall? I feel like I want to sue
her because so much stressed by her.

---

Clarification of Question by i_hate_akihc-ga on 03 Feb 2005 12:10 PST

me and my boyfriend together for 9month. I just spend time with his
family in last holidays. Our problem is his ex keeping calling his house. We
are living in Japan now(not together, 4days of week). She've call him
early morning, night, weekend
, sometimes while crying from the states. When we were cerebrate our
aniversely shecalled his house again, interputed us. It was always
like that. They are candidate of Ph.D. They had been togheter for 6
years. So I understand They arespecial friendship and alot of common.
But sometimes I think too much. One time I complain about her, He
yelled me [She is going to be in my life forever so forget it!] He
said, He can't marry me until I accept hisrelationship with ex. He
wanted manage our wedding by her.(Hell no)I even talked her on the
phone one time. She got?an attitude?from first. She said[ I am like a
his family. This is Me and his business.not yours] like that.She is
all over the his family. When I went tohis father's house, there are
their picture in flame. I tried to be her friend or just socialize
relationship but she never accepted my applogize. Once I cussed her
out on the phone.I keeping sending email to her, even my boyfriend
send to her [Could you write her back? so wecan have a peace?] but she
never do. but they are still calling each
other, laughing each other. She worried about my boyfriend. Because
She think I am crazy. I have been taking a counseling about her. Her
call is like a nightmare to me. Should I forget it? Let them do what
they want?
Should I patient about his ex's phonecall? I feel like I want to sue
her because so much stressed by her.

my advice,

dump the man

I'll second the dumping.  Your boyfriend should be the one trying to
arrange a peaceful understanding.   The ex is actually right about her
being his business.  It isn't your business to tell her who she can
talk to.  But if your boyfriend's refusal or inability to take care of
his own business is causing you stress, the two of you will probably
be miserable forever.

It doesn't even matter which of you is being unreasonable about it. 
Maybe you are overreacting.  Maybe he can't let go of his old
relationship.  Maybe you two just have different standards for
privacy.  But whatever the cause, it isn't working out.

Give him your permission to marry her again. Then leave.

Get rid of the bum.  You are obviously not his main concern..... she is.