Hi, Chris!
Regarding the matter of guessing which province you're from, I'm going
to take a stab: Manitoba? I'm assuming that the Jets reference was to
the Winnipeg Jets.
If I'm wrong about the province, please give me a few more chances.
Y'all don't have nearly as many provinces as we have states, so it
won't take too many guesses before I hit it right!
To give you some extra value for your money, I offer a small chunk of
homegrown humor. (The material posted below is an act of whimsy: don't
try this at home.)
NINE STEPS TO THE BETTER MOUSETRAP
1. Place cat in trap; cat is opposite of mouse; opposites attract. Cat
attracts mouse. Remove mouse forom interior of cat. Re-assemble.
2. Strew house with cheese-flavored Brillo; apply magnetic field to
trap. Mouse eats Brillo. A concentrated beam of mice flows into trap.
Cut beam into small sections to obtain individual mice.
3. Place a photograph of cheese inside trap. Catch a photograph of a
mouse. Wait for the mouse to drop by to pick up his picture.
4. Greatly increase gravitational field in vicinity of trap. Mice are
inexorably drawn to trap, as are you, your furniture, your family, and
several square miles of your neighborhood. Sort through debris to find
mouse.
5. Locate mouse-hole. Invert it and mouse will fall out. Pick him up
and put him in trap. Smile inscrutably.
6. Spray infinite area outside trap with nouse repellent. Mouse will
be forced into trap. Spray area inside trap with mouse repellent.
Mouse will be forced out of trap and into your waiting hands. Gloat.
7. Establish a mouse casino inside trap. Blow a whistle and raid it.
8. Ascribe mouselike qualities to anything that enters the trap. Be eloquent.
9. Postulate that there is NO GOOD REASON why a mouse ought not to be
in the trap. Assuming the universe to be reasonable, you find that
there IS a mouse in the trap. Grab him before the universe becomes
less reasonable.
Very best wishes,
pinkfreud |
