Dear wynsnob-ga;
Thank you for allowing me to answer your interesting question.
Obviously, the provisions in a last will and testament are the final
behests of a now deceased person who can no longer receive or
appreciate our gratitude. In fact, many wills are just that in
themselves ? a gift expressing the decedent?s gratitude; a form of
?thanks? after the fact. The proper response to such a ?thank you? is
not ?thank you? in return, but a humble and grateful acceptance of the
gift and a private (and perhaps mental or symbolic) acknowledgement
that needs not be expressed between the living recipient and the
deceased giver of the gift.
Now, if you feel compelled to thank the executor of the will, not for
the portion of the inheritance you received, but for helping you and
guiding you through this uncomfortable and confusing process, there is
no rule of etiquette in the world that would dispute the propriety of
such a sincere act. An executor?s duties are often difficult and
stressful, and in some states they are even compensated financially by
the estate to offset some of the misery and headache it can cause. A
very brief note of thanks, designed only to express your gratitude for
the executor?s effort in the matter would indeed be appropriate and
probably well received (especially, in my opinion, since this person
also happens to be a relative of yours).
As for how, or what kind of reply would be proper, if it were me, I
would wait until the distribution was complete and I would address the
administrator/executor of the will by hard copy mail correspondence. I
would send a brief letter on personal stationary or on a very lightly
and tastefully decorated ?Thank You? card (that reflects an
unmistakable level of modesty commensurate with the appropriate
grieving time of your relative?s passing). In the letter I would say
something along this line:
===========
?Dear (Cousin Administrator):
Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your patient and capable
handling of (our relative?s) estate during this uncomfortable and
confusing time. It is evident that (our relative) chose exceptionally
well when she carefully considered the person to whom this
responsibility would ultimately fall. I know (our relative) would feel
the same when I say that I am proud of you and I thank you for your
assistance.
Kindest regards;
Me?
===========
While no acknowledgement is really necessary, if you do choose to
express your thanks, little more than this should probably be said,
lest you be perceived as celebrating your sudden unexpected windfall,
or confessing your guilt over having been estranged for so long. The
sample letter I have offered is sincere, brief, and to the point and
leaves no ambiguous motives to ponder, rather it expresses personal
gratitude and quickly closes. As an alternative to mail, in the event
that you do not have access to your cousin?s mailing address, it would
also be appropriate to address your letter to your cousin ?in care of?
the Attorney or law firm handling the final legalities of your Aunt?s
estate in this manner to insure its prompt forwarding:
(Cousin?s name), Executor, Estate of (Aunt?s name)
C/o (Lawyer?s name), Attorney at Law
ACME Law Firm
123 Main
Anywhere, USA
10101
I hope you find that my research exceeds your expectations. If you
have any questions about my answer please post a clarification request
prior to rating. Otherwise I welcome your rating and your final
comments and I look forward to working with you again in the near
future. Thank you for bringing your question to us.
Best regards;
Tutuzdad-ga ? Google Answers Researcher |
