The following is asked ON BEHALF OF Capitaineformidable-ga.

Please refer to CF or Norman with your response.

?What is it in the female psyche that causes the fair sex to answer
the question that hasn?t been asked??

E.g.
Q. ?How long will it be before the meal is ready, love??

A. ?It?s chicken!?

Q. ?What are we eating tonight, dear??

A. ?It will not be long?

Regards, per Norman

Mon Capitaine,

Of course it's big. I've been sitting on it for fifty-seven years.

(Please request clarification if you think it will do you any good.)

======================================================================

But to the point: it is my belief that most women are inherently
somewhat more suspicious and less trusting than are most men.

I know to a near certainty that if I were to go over to my husband and
say "Oh, sweetie," and smile, he would think to himself "She loves
me!"

Whereas, if my husband were to come over to me and say "Oh, sweetie,"
I would think to myself "I wonder what he's up to."

Perhaps we women answer the unasked questions because our restless,
unsatisfied minds can't accept the simplicity and honesty of what we
have actually been asked. I am not sure of this, and I cannot speak
for all women, but this is my theory, and I am stickin' to it until
something better comes along.

C'mon, you didn't expect to get a straight answer outta me, did you?

Very best regards,
pinkfreud

The "tounge-in-cheek" question was answered with clarity and honesty.
The answer arrived from the best possible source of all .. an honest
lady. I am sure that Norman would agree. I trust that his thoughts
concur with mine as hix proxy in "shouting" the question on his
behalf.

Kind regards,

Phil per Norman

(another packet of cashews from the peanut gallery)

Aliens -- trafalmadorian.

Best

?What is it in the female psyche that causes the fair sex to answer
the question that hasn?t been asked??

This is caused by the mysterious female hormone Guesstrogen.

Dear Capitaine,

we are psychic aliens -- from Trafalmador -- and other nooks, crannies
and hidey-holes of the Universe.

we consider things in a circular fashion -- or spirally, depending on
your viewpoint.

we live only to confound you, to widen the chinks in your armor, to
obfuscate your world and cause you to become unstuck in time, and
thereby gain indirect -- but complete -- control . . .

good luck,

timespacette-ga

As one of the fairer sex I must say that I often answer many questions
before they are asked for several reasons.

***I know that they will be asked at some time

***Because I can always answer an unasked question correctly

***To annoy the less fairer but still simply as wonderful members of the other sex

You should now take note that I did not answer what causes me to do
it, but rather why I do it.

Norman...

I'm exercising my feminine side...

Q. "What is it in the female psyche that causes the fair sex to answer
    the question that hasn?t been asked?"

A. "The phase of the moon is irrelevant."

Hi Norman,

What a great question! Wish I had posted a question like that.

Ya know, I reckon I have the answer after having experienced first
hand the frustration you describe. It's because (some) women think
that we think like they think. But we don't. They think that every
question has an underlying meaning and therefore they answer their
assumption of that "real" meaning to what was a simple question with
no ulterior meaning in the first instance. You can often see the cogs
of analysis turning if you make eye contact when the answer to your
unasked question is given. As if to think to themselves ~ "Now, what
does he REALLY mean"? ~

Now this could be likened to "second guessing" as in the answerer to
your question takes on an approach of responsibility and ownership of
your every thought, then redirects your thought by answering the
unasked. This is a conditioning thing. No wonder there are so many
bust ups. Communication is always the key, but of course it's too late
after the damage has been done.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, a chicken dinner is a chicken
dinner and a simple question deserves a simple answer.

Phil

Superb responses to a very tongue in cheek question. I wasn?t sure how
this would be received but the ?ga community has come up trumps again!

No clarification necessary, I don?t believe it?s that big anyway,
Pink; and what a great one-liner.

ts You already, secretly know you have control but constantly keeping
us wrong footed to maintain your power base makes sense.

Laura, I can?t fault what you say even though you answered the
question that wasn?t asked!

Sublime1, I couldn?t agree with you more, I?ve noticed this problem
seems to get worse after the moon has stopped shining.

Phil, yes playing the double game is always fun for one of parties
concerned but second guessing the double game is really confusing.
Does this bring us back to the single game or out into another
dimension that us males are not capable of reaching?

Norman.

silv777 gives a delightful comment.  I would like to confirm that the
phenomenon is not limited to English speakers; German females are just
as good (or bad) at it.  This raises the question if it it occurs in
non-western societies/languages (Hindi, Chinese, Turkish, ??).
It also raises the question: do women managers who compete effectively
in a male business environment succeed because they they learn to
answer immediately the question asked (suppress the urge to answer the
unasked one) or maybe just aren't subject to the urge??  (Major
Higgins:  "Why can't women be more like men ...)

Pink ..

You would have to be one of the few honest women I know. 
Your answer echoes what I was saying in my comment. 

Guzzi .. aliens? .. is that why men are from Mars and women are from Venus?

TS .. Hi, long time, no chat

Laura .. a perfect answer exemplifying my own comment

Sublime .. summed up beautifully by example

Norman .. I can't answer your last question. I'm now more confused than ever.

I suppose I now also have the POWER of rating the answer.

Phil

Norman, can you hear what I hear or am I hearing things?

Phil,

It's all in the mind, I'm told (by a reliable authority).

Norman

I once answered a question with the exact response that a male
counterpart did. Yet their answer "scored" higher. Another time I was
told how cute it was that I knew the answer. I believe that women have
come to the realization that for many things we need to go above and
beyound the simple asked question and give more information than
required in order for men to take us seriously. Now, I don't want to
see any of that "sexist" thing being posted after my comment- but this
is the way I see it. A male competitor twice my age, half as talented
does not need to prove himself and his ablilities with the same vigor
that I do when approaching a prospected client. I have learned through
out my life that to be held on the same level as my male counterparts
I must work harder than them and often skip the "simple" answers and
answer the unasked ones. I once was told I had gotten a job over a few
choice men because I was "cute". For almost a year I had to prove that
I had been the best canidate for it and could perform the job better,
I did double the work a man would have had to do and was questioned by
other employees regularly on my qualifications to do the job. I spent
that year tieing my hair back and changing oil in cars, learning how
to align tires and turn rotors and replacing motors not because my job
as a service writer required it, or because the male advisors could
(they couldnt do it either), but because I felt I needed to prove that
I was more knowledgible on cars in order to gain their respect.

In my professional life even now I find myself needing to "over
compensate" for being a woman in what is surley a mans world. So it
may be that I tend to let that feeling over flow into my personal life
by continueing to answer things not yet asked, provide more
information than required, blah blah.

And by the way, we will be having roasted garlic chicken, mashed
cheese potatoes, homemade bread and at this time some unknown veggie
for dinner. I may or may not make cookies tonight.

Hi Norman et al...

I answer unasked questions because intuatively I "feel" them :)

Steph53

Laura,

When I chose this subject to post, I didn?t know if I was going in to
bat or field, as we say in cricket, (attack or defend). I don?t quite
know how to react on your story, except that cute got you through the
door and dedication and ability closed it behind you. Yes, and
sometimes women are not taken seriously by men with lesser abilities,
at least not until these men are placed in a position where they can?t
answer back by someone with greater knowledge or hands on experience.
I do believe in a meritocracy. In fact when I owned a factory, many
years ago, I gave the foreman?s position to a 21 year old, over many
older guys (no women wanted to do that job) because he had proved he
had a head on his shoulders and could run the job when it was going
wrong. Anyone of them could do it when it was going right.

You will always be second best in attitude if you allow yourself to be
placed there. When some smug chauvinist tells you it?s ?cute? you know
something, say ?Oh, did you know that too, what a charming story?, or
something of the like. ?I discovered that when I was working on the
Porsche ?C? class, where did you find it out?? Without going out to
flaunt your knowledge a time will come when they realise that you have
more answers than they have questions and then respect will flow to
you, as it should. Until then I will agree that it is an uphill push
but that is just the way the world is, I?m afraid and that won?t go
away by wishing it.

Having said that, women do give some very confusing (apparently
stupid) answers on occasions but as timespacette-ga has explained this
is to maintain control by constantly wrong footing us. There is
nothing wrong with expanding an answer so long the simple answer is in
there somewhere also. ?We are having garlic chicken tonight and it
will be ready in twenty minutes?. What is wrong with that?

What is your feeling on myoarin-ga?s comment about women business
managers suppressing the urge to answer the unasked question or even
not thinking of it? Has he got a point or not? (Seriously you seem
qualified to answer this one or at least have an opinion on it).

Don?t make the meal sound too delicious or I might invite myself round
someday and then I will have to be on my best behaviour and try not to
spit on the carpet (or even worse on the ceiling) ? just joking. When
my wife and me were both working, the rule was the first one through
the door of an evening, cooked the meal and that was not an excuse for
going for a few drinks on the way home.

Norman.

Yes Phil,

It seems like it's time to heap on the stars. Pity GA doesn't have
moons just for Pink!

Norman

Don't take my comment as a pity me, I get pleasure from proving myself
"worthy", and even working in the shop with the guys- it had benefits.
At the time I was 18, and could do more with my car than my older
brother. Getting the grease outta my very long hair was the only down
fall... and even now I like to remind my husband that I know more
about fixing cars than he does.

I believe that given all, being a woman and being treated like a
"WOMAN" the way many men still see us, had give me my thirst for
knowledge, and it is very cute when a chauvinist man has to break done
and ask for my help on something. I just cherish that little blush
they get while trying to request my assistance. I see things this way,
I do live in a mans world- and I do have to often prove myself to
others because I am a woman, however if I had never had to would I
still have taken the time to learn what I know? I doubt I would be so
addicted to learning new things and sharing that with others. My
mother said it builds charactor, that what doesn't kill you only makes
you stronger. Each instance of anyone (yes even other women doubt each
other) has helped to fuel my desire to learn more and be the best of
whatever it is I am doing. I don't regret that I need to assure others
that I am capable, I do like to be able to prove myself.

I may over answer a question, or respond before one is asked... such
as the chicken is smelling so good in the oven right now that I can
smell it from my office. But really... you wanted to know how it would
turn out didnt you???

BTW- I'm still old fashion enough that the woman in this house cooks
all the meals, makes the coffee in the morning (even though I don't
drink it), sets out his cloths, and brings him his dinner. He's still
old fashion enough to enjoy it.

Laura,

Your mother is right, doesn?t it give you a feeling of satisfaction to
be as proficient as others and better than many in your chosen field,
all achieved by your own efforts. I do hope your femininity hasn?t
suffered as a result of competing in a man?s world, I suspect not. It
is good for men to be men and women to be women and all compete on a
level playing field. The world keeps turning and things change
gradually for the better. By way of example, where I live about a
quarter to a third of the bus drivers are women, something unheard of
twenty years ago.

Norman

Norman,

I trust that you will be satisfied with my answer rating and
obligatory comment on your behalf. We would have to admit, Pink's
answer was on the mark and very frank. If only we could communicate so
openly with one another as Pink has chosen to do.

Phil

Neither of the sexes is greater nor lesser than the other.

We are simply and equally different.

Thank God .. for life would not be worth the experience without women.

Phil

Hear! Hear!

Five well deserved 'Moons' for the Pink Lady.

Norman

The thing that I found most fascinating about the comments is that
after Pinks initial reaction to the audacity of the question, none of
our five lady respondents denied it was a real effect and in some way
or another tried to give an honest explanation of it.

Once again thanks for your candour, this has given me a spur to sort
out my credit card.

Norman

Hi Norman,

I'm not so sure that Pink's reaction was one of "audacity" in thought,
but rather of her usual humour (OK, HUMOR spelling for the phonetical
Yanks) and play on words with "Guesstrogen". Pink's honest answer is
proof of that, for sure.

BTW, what do you mean in reference to your credit card?

Regards, Phil

I was the one who asked the audacious question. The reaction to the
audacity of the question was the bit in between, ?Mon Capitaine? and
the double dotted line!

I don?t know anyone to equal Pink for the pertinent quick one liner,
slipped in like a rapier between the ribs. Unsurpassed!

As for the credit card, I don?t have one. I had one when I had the
business until it went tits up in ?91 (sorry for the sexist remark
Laura). After that I decided not to join the plastic society and to be
honest I hardly ever miss it. It?s just when I want to ask questions
on Google, or order something from Amazon I can?t get anywhere else,
it becomes a bit inconvenient. I got the relevant forms a while back
but other things have been happening here so it got put onto a back
burner, so to speak. Must get round to it. Now if Google accepted
debit cards I wouldn?t have a problem.

Thanks for the shout Phil

Norman.

Norman, sexist remark?? You may say tits up any time you feel the
need... nothing sexist about that. I only worry that at times I am
taken for being sexist.... I am not consumed with others being or not.
Just don't want to appear that way myself.

As to other women not disputing that we often answer things strangly-
I don't see room for us to agrue something as honest as that. Women
do.