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Q: how to raise good children ( No Answer,   5 Comments )
Subject: how to raise good children
Category: Family and Home > Parenting
Asked by: piks8975-ga
List Price: $20.00
Posted: 27 Mar 2005 04:20 PST
Expires: 26 Apr 2005 05:20 PDT
Question ID: 500983
my 2 wives and I (I am divorced and remarried) have raised 2 good
children who both are married and gainfully employed.  I have been
asked to give a presentation on what works for raising good children,
but I'm not sure.  What do the experts say? What proof do they
provide? I am 59, my wife is 52. We and our children and their
husbands are people of faith in Jesus Christ who attend church
regularly.  While not being rich, we consider ourselves to be
financially well off.  It would help me if ou could provide
scientific/research data which indicate
methods/techniques/behavior/attitudes that would help my audience
avoid the "hit and miss" methods my wives and I used to raise good
children.  In my view "good" children have faith, character, are
making a positive contribution to society, and in general, are making
us proud to be their parents.  Also, if you can provide comical
examples or anecdotes to keep an audience from falling asleep, that
would also help.  Thank you very much.  May God bless and keep you.
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: how to raise good children
From: levia-ga on 27 Mar 2005 07:02 PST
Shalom piks8975,

These following sites may help:

How to Raise a Good Friend


good luck!

Subject: Re: how to raise good children
From: easterangel-ga on 27 Mar 2005 12:01 PST
Hi piks8975-ga!

I think the real success factors are well within your family. Raising
GOD fearing children! Maybe you can stick with it since you know how
to do it really well and have experienced personal success with it.

Subject: Re: how to raise good children
From: myoarin-ga on 27 Mar 2005 15:27 PST
Congratulations on your success as parents, apparently such that has
led to your being asked to speak on the subject!

I appreciate your modest attitude ("hit or miss") and your feeling
that you need "scientific research" to enhance what you want to say,
but I agree with Easterangel that you will do better to stick with
your own experiences, just as you have said in the question:
"In my view "good" children have faith, character, are making a
positive contribution to society, and in general, are making us proud
to be their parents."

That is an opening line that comes straight from you  - and goes
straight to any parent in the audience.  It did to me, and I've also
got two grown kids.

And it has all the themes you need:

Faith:  If it is a church audience or if it is not, your own practice
has been a guide and example, I strongly suspect, not preaching but
being a role model.
You know the saying: families that pray together, stay together (yeah,
not 100%, but a lot more than most).  And those that play together,
and have meals together, which you may take for granted ...
Character:  again it's the role model (well, one of mine said my
negative model also had a positive affect ...)
and so on:  your examples, 
and as to making you proud to be their parents, that suggests a lot of
mutual respect.
Ask them why they think you did a good job as parents.  That could be
a very fruitful and entertaining evening, and could provide anecdotes
in abundance
(keep notes).
I have not checked the websites Levia suggests, and maybe they can
help put your own thoughts in perspective, maybe reinforcing something
you do/did and just took for granted but that others apparently don't.
I would feel uncomfortable in your position if I started bringing in
stuff I had read, even if I completely accepted and understood it.
Just an outline of your themes, and I think you have that already, and
anecdotes to illustrate them  - supported by the fact that your "kids"
had helped provide them - could be a very convincing and touching

It just struck me - been growing in the back of my mind for the last few lines:
I wonder how many parents really apologize to their children when they
(parents) have been unjust?!  Not just the quick: "oh, I'm sorry," but
really, contritely admit to their mistake, show the child the respect
due any - ANY - person?
I remember mine did -can't remember what for- but I remmember that they did.
I suspect you did so - more often than I did.  Ask them.

OH, Maybe it comes/came naturally to you, the way one speaks to each
other about matters of opinion: "Turn down that awful noise!"  or "I
don't really like that kind of music; can you turn it down please?" 
You may find the comments under the question "Languages that don't
support absolutism" interesting.

I wish I could hear your talk.
Subject: Re: how to raise good children
From: no_pseudonym-ga on 12 Apr 2005 03:07 PDT
Firstly, allow me to congratulate on your accomplishments as parents -
parenting is truly one of the most difficult (albeit rewarding) tasks
that a person could undertake.
I'm sorry if my response comes across as a bit disrespectful towards
your religious beliefs, but I don't believe that religious faith is a
necessity for raising good children.  I know a lot of aethist people
who are wonderful human beings, and don't need religious beliefs as
such to know that being good to other human beings is paramount.
I think the key to raising good children is first and foremost
teaching them to be good to people, to respect all human beings, and
do it not because they will gain reward from doing so but because it
is the 'right' thing to do.
I don't know if any sort of 'scientific' research has been done on
raising good children, because 'goodness' itself is such an abstract
concept.  But I figure there are various psychological studies that
correlate tendencies to commit felonies and childhood environmental
factors, and the like.
I think for anecdotes, the best ones are always the ones closest to
the heart so I think any personal experience you might have been
through that is insightful yet comical would be interesting for the
Anyway, good luck with the presentation.
Subject: Re: how to raise good children
From: mike123106-ga on 13 Apr 2005 11:01 PDT
"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old
he will not depart from it"

Proverbs 22:6

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