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Q: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   4 Comments )
Question  
Subject: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
Category: Relationships and Society > Relationships
Asked by: ppl4world-ga
List Price: $57.00
Posted: 02 Apr 2005 13:00 PST
Expires: 02 May 2005 14:00 PDT
Question ID: 504087
Hi, I'm considering to use one of the high-level matchmaking services
for successful / rich men. (me - New York city, 35, working in Hedge
Fund, Austrian, not accustomed to dating game in NYC)
I have scouted the internet and found some servies, all of which are
mentioned in an answer thread for a lady here on Google
(http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=118961). I'm located
in new York City.

I'd like to 
1) Have advice on finding the right service
2) Find true testimonials / meet prior clients to learn about their experience
3) Learn realistic expectations (ie is this a scam, etc
4) What is the incentive for woman to join? Are they simply after
money or for a good life-long aprtnership?
5) What is the incentive of the company to deliver good service after
I paid all the fee (which is upfrong)? Seems to me very low
6) What alternatives should someone like me consider (walking into
exlcuisve night club and hitting on next good looking girl there is
not my thing...)

Thanks so much for your research!
Answer  
Subject: Re: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
Answered By: nenna-ga on 24 Apr 2005 16:34 PDT
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
 
Hello ppl4world-ga,

I am going to answer your question broken down into parts that match
your 1-6 list you mentioned.


1) Have advice on finding the right service

The most important thing is finding a service that meets YOUR needs.
What are you looking for exactly? Make yourself a list of the
qualities that matter to you in a service.

Some examples are:
24-7 availability to look at matches on your own time (internet), or
would you rather do it with a consultant of the service?

Are looks more important than personality, or vice versa? Do you want
a service that will focus on a personality match, or that markets
based on looks, then personality?

Do you want a service that only has women in your area, or across the
county, state, and/or country?

Does their clientele match up with your target demographic? If you are
looking for a woman in her 30?s, what is their average age of a woman
looking for a man? If it is 18 or 50, you are not going to have a lot
of opportunity. How many members in your demographic are there?

Do you want somewhere that sets up your date, or you can set your own?
Do you want them to help with contact between both of you, or would
you like to contact them yourself? Do you want anonymity or not?? (Do
you want them to give out your name/number to matches or not)

Maker a list of what is important to you, your definite needs,
?maybes,? and things you are indifferent about, and take them with you
to see if the company matches your needs and wants.


2) Find true testimonials / meet prior clients to learn about their experience.

Most websites that offer a service that you?re looking for, such as
the ones you mentioned looking at from the other question here on GA,
will (and SHOULD) let you see real life testimonials and have
references. I believe any business that charges that amounts these
companies mentioned should make customer service and satisfaction a
number one priority and give you that way to be SURE that they?re
going to be able to offer what they say they can, which is a
successful match.

Since I am sure higher profile people who use these services like to
remain anonymous (for example, on the web they would not want names
and contact info published), I am sure that thru the service, some
would be willing to come forward and talk to you or offer references.
If they cannot give you that, I would not use the service. If this is
an important piece of the puzzle, then do not give it up. If they
cannot offer it, it is not the right service for you.

3) Learn realistic expectations (i.e. is this a scam, etc)

Not everyone is going to find the ?perfect? person through a dating
site or matchmaker. No matter how many claims are made that they can,
it is just not possible to please 100% of the people 100% of the time,
which means there is a chance you will not find what you were hoping
for. It is unreasonable to make a claim like that, and anyone who says
they can guarantee a match is lying, as the saying says? ?Nothing is
guaranteed except death and taxes,? right?
Therefore, no matter how good the credentials of a company, you cannot
be assured everlasting love with someone. Keep a realistic expectation
in mind not only of the service they are offering, but what you can
also expect. A company like the ones mentioned may increase your odds
better than the bar scene, but nothing is 100%.

I would also recommend checking out each company through your local
Better Business Bureau. Listed below is the location of the New York
Website. Also, not only check that, but their online resource for
sites that belong to their online ?division.?
http://www.newyork.bbb.org/ 
http://www.bbbonline.org/

This is also part of your question #2. Getting those real life
testimonials, meeting people who have used the service, etc are part
of this as well. A good company should be able to provide credentials
you can research and verify. They should also be willing to provide
you with this information before you pay a cent, so that you can be
sure of the service that you are getting.

4) What is the incentive for woman to join? Are they simply after
money or for a good life-long partnership?

I am sure that depends on the woman. Some women are looking for a
life-long partnership, and I am sure some women are looking for the
man with the wallet. I am sure the incentive varies for both types.
For some, the incentive might be finding a life-partner, on their
career level, making as much as them financially and used to a busy,
glamorous life. For some women, the incentive of joining might be
finding a man who will give them a glam lifestyle with money because
they would like a ?sugar-daddy.? This is why I think the personalized
services might be better than online ones for someone who is looking
for love and commitment. Being that each member would be personally
screened, it may be easier for the matchmaker to weed out the
moneygrubbers because she/he has seen it repeatedly, and knows the
signs of someone who is defrauding vs. someone who is in it for love.
I also recommend using a female matchmaker if you are a male, because
I think women are able to read women?s true intentions better than a
male can (personal opinion).

5) What is the incentive of the company to deliver good service after
I paid all the fee (which is upfront)? Seems to me very low.

I believe with the amount of money being asked for, a contract is
involved. I?m sure many other men in your position has asked the same
question, and the contract SHOULD guarantee certain things to you,
such as personalized service, meeting your needs, or your money
refunded in part or full. Ask to see the contract before you sign it,
and take it to a lawyer and ask him the same question. ?What says I
get service meeting my requirements and what they said they would do
after I paid them?? I believe them taking your money, and not
providing a service would result in legal action against the company.
Have the lawyer check into law/public record databases to see if any
other legal complaints have been filed against the matchmaker/service.
Once again, make sure you are going to be happy, and have rights
before you pay them anything. If they want your business, and are
legit, they should be willing to make sure you are ready to go before
you pay them thousands of dollars.

6) What alternatives should someone like me consider (walking into
exclusive night club and hitting on next good looking girl there is
not my thing...)

What is your thing? Do you like theater, dance, arts, horses, skiing?
There is always that option as well to meet someone who obviously
shares an interest in something you do.

Do you have any friends who could play matchmaker? Your friends know
you best; do they have anyone they would recommend?

Find women who run in the same social circle as you. Someone who is
your equal is bound to be more real then someone you meet out who
knows you have money and wants to gain that and not your love. Someone
who does not need what you have will not just be with you because you
have what they need/want. Make sense?

If this answer requires further explanation, please request
clarification before rating it, and I will be happy to look into this
further.
Nenna-GA
Google Answers Researcher

Request for Answer Clarification by ppl4world-ga on 25 Apr 2005 07:11 PDT
Hi nenna-ga, you provided very thoughtfull and helpful advice (much
better than some of the comments...)

As for the services, I was wondering if based on your recommandations
(all of which I agree with - personality matching rather than only
looks, committment rather than sugard daddy,etc) you can give me a
list of services I should do due dilligence one, as you deem them to
be potentially good fits for me.

My friend circle is not that large yet in New York, as I just moved
here a bit over a year ago. So I'm not sure how to enter circles that
have educated, international, confident, smart and very attractive
woman looking for a comitted partnership. While most of your
suggestions (like theater, music etc) fit my interest and leisure
time, I'm still not sure how this can help. It seems to me that the
majority of woman are there with their man already :-)
Anyway, any specific suggestions on how to enter circles with woman of
the calibre described would be very much appreciated.

Warm regards and thanks for your help.

Clarification of Answer by nenna-ga on 25 Apr 2005 11:29 PDT
Hello again,

I'll do some looking into your request and get back to you in a day or 2 :)

Nenna-GA

Clarification of Answer by nenna-ga on 25 Apr 2005 17:23 PDT
Hello again,

Are you looking for me to suggest the "best" dating service for you,
or to list places you may be able to meet the type of women you're
looking for? I can give you a short clarification on either of those,
but if you'd like a in-depth answer, that's a different question. You
can let me know if you would like a short answer to either of those,
or if you'd like to post another question and have me research it
in-depth.

Nenna-GA

Request for Answer Clarification by ppl4world-ga on 26 Apr 2005 14:39 PDT
Hi, 

If possible a clarification on the best services would be great - I
might not have been very specific in my original questions but somehow
thought at least a short list of services that meet my/your criteria
would be part of the answer (which is why I priced it in one of the
higher categories, if I'm not mistaken).

As for concrete places to meet such woman, I'd leave that up to you. I
think if you can give me a good answer/clarification on the above with
regards to services I'd post another question directly to you for a
good research on such places and a plan of action. Let me know how
much research you think would be necessary so that I can price it
correctly.

Thanks so much

Peter

Clarification of Answer by nenna-ga on 27 Apr 2005 16:18 PDT
Hello,

I'll do a clarification on some sites and places, a short one, in the
next few days. If you feel that after you get that, you would like a
in-depth answer, feel free to post another question and let me know.
I'll do my best to work on it for you. I'm sorry, I was a bit confused
on your original question. I assumed (I should have known better) that
you had chosen the sites in the other question to use, since you had
mentioned that.

If you'd like some more information on pricing, go to...
https://answers.google.com/answers/pricing.html 

I'll be back with some information for you soon!
Nenna-GA

Clarification of Answer by nenna-ga on 29 Apr 2005 08:02 PDT
Hello again,

I did some reviews of the sites mentioned in the other question you
referenced, and some digging of my own. I?ll list a few sites and why
they would be the best match for your needs.

Janis Spindel

This sounds like a great service, some of the reasons I think it would
be best for you is?

She has had 715+ couples wed and 800+ in monogamous relationships.

They?re perfectly willing to put you in touch with current and former
clients for testimonials.

They prescreen all of their women and only accept highly educated
women. As she put it to me on the phone this AM, ?They can all buy
their own dinner, and they don?t need a man for that.? They go quite
in-depth to make sure the women are of the caliber that a man in your
position would be looking for.

As far as it not being a scam, Janis has? ?been featured on programs
such as The CBS Early Show, Fox News, The O'Reilly Factor, The Weekend
Today Show, The Metro Channel's New York Central and Naked New York,
and NY1. Janis has also been heard on The Joan Hamburg Radio Show as
well as National Public Radio.?
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com/press.htm

The bulk of their clients are in their 30?s, 40?s, and 50?s, so the
age range seems appropriate for you as well.
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Samantha?s Table also seems like a good service. Not only does she
match you with clients, she matches you with people in her social
network and that she meets that she thinks would be a good match.
Therefore, the country is her dating pool. She currently has over
10,000 people in her dating database.

?During the consultation, we will spend a lot of time talking about
your hobbies, interests, upbringing, lifestyle, career, etc., and we
will also spend a lot of time talking about your past relationships
and why you think they didn't work.?
This sounds good for you, because it matches interests instead of looks.

All of her clients are college educated; many have graduate degrees,
and are successful, especially in the NY and LA areas.
?My clients are driven and success-oriented. They tend to travel
extensively, eat at the finest restaurants, attend the theatre, admire
and acquire art, and patronize many of the most worthy and visible
charities in their city. They have worked hard to succeed in their
professions and now they are ready to enjoy life and all it has to
offer with that one person who is ready to do the same.?

If you?re interested, please fill out the registration form at :
http://www.samanthastable.com/Form/NewClientForm.asp
And someone will be back in touch with you within a weeks time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Selective Search has a database of over 5000 women who they comb
through and handpick a match for you from. They refer to their women
as ?needles in a haystack? when it comes to quality. If they do not
have someone who matches your needs in their database, they have over
30 scouts who will actively search out the person you?re looking for.
You also get a dedicated recruiter.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I believe those three would be the best matches for you. You could
also try the ?Dinner for Six? idea.

You dine in small groups of 6 to 10 people, all within your age group,
equal men and women. Upon arrival you are greeted by a New York Dinner
host and provide introductions, then, you are on to dinner. This my be
a way to get out and meet men and women of your age group, who could
introduce you to the social scene a bit more.

?Our main purpose is to introduce singles ,enjoy good food, good
conversation and just have fun. Its not just for dating.  Its a great
way to network if you are looking for a new job, expand your social
circle, or find an activity partner. Remember everyone has single
friends and co-workers, so you never know who can introduce you to
someone new. You may contact us the following day if you want to get
in touch with someone from your dinner party and we will pass a
message on.  New York Quick Date offers other social events that are
strictly for dating!?

http://www.newyorkquickdate.com/events/singlesdinners/index.html


I hope this helps you out. If you?d like to know more about other
sites and options, feel free to post another question and I?ll do my
best to help you out.

Nenna-GA
ppl4world-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars
together with the clarification (which was probably mostly needed to
my unclear question in the first place) a first rate service,
courteous and professional!

Comments  
Subject: Re: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
From: nikmcg-ga on 03 Apr 2005 03:42 PDT
 
1) Have advice on finding the right service
2) Find true testimonials / meet prior clients to learn about their experience
3) Learn realistic expectations (ie is this a scam, etc
4) What is the incentive for woman to join? Are they simply after
money or for a good life-long aprtnership?
5) What is the incentive of the company to deliver good service after
I paid all the fee (which is upfrong)? Seems to me very low
6) What alternatives should someone like me consider (walking into
exlcuisve night club and hitting on next good looking girl there is
not my thing...)

If I may say a very business like question. That's ok but we are
talking about romance & relationships aren't we?
Firstly You should decide where you are trying to meet your girl? NYC
is a huge City surely there are reputable dating services available.
That may help with your first 3 questions.
Many girls would choose to join an agaency for the same reasons as
yourself. Busy lives. Not too much free time for socialising.
Genuine agencies DO want to provide a good service. We have a small
family run International agency and men who have been pleased with us
recommend their friends to join. Word of mouth, the very best
advertising.
I cannot speak for other agencies, but we do make an upfront charge
for our services as we provide translations etc that do involve us
work. That doesn't seem unfair.
Your last point about bars. Ummmm, works for some. I think you need to
be a confident guy for it to be successful, be prepared for let downs
and blow outs, and have the TIME avaialble to spend going to all these
places. Got to say I couldn't and wouldn't. Just not for me.
Hope this helps.
Subject: Re: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
From: nancylpina-ga on 03 Apr 2005 09:37 PDT
 
Dear nikmcg,

As a former matchmaker, I understand your concerns about joining a
high-level service.  If you choose this path, I suggest you ask for
client referrals before paying a large service fee.  A matchmaking
company that will not give you a referral should raise a red flag for
you.  People who are satisfied will be more than happy to tell you of
their success in meeting the right person.

In very high level services (which charge $10K or more) the very
attractive women will not pay a fee, as there is always a shortage of
attractive women in most dating/matchmaking services.  The service
will set them up with you at no cost to them.  Not all services
operate in this manner, but just be aware of that practice.  When a
person does not pay for a service, they usually do not take it as
seriously as someone who has paid.

I advise you to listen to your intuition and if it doesn't feel right,
look elsewhere.  Many times it is a very high pressure sales pitch, so
keep that in mind as well.

After working with singles for over 20 years, I found that the
quickest way to meet the right person is to make sure that you can
visualize her.  The more specific you are about what kind of
relationship you want - the characteristics this person possesses, and
the relationship goals you want to achieve with this person, the
quicker you will meet her.  It is very important to check your heart
and make sure that you do not have any core beliefs that will sabotage
a new relationship or unresolved issues from past relationships that
will cause you to unconsciously attract someone who will recreate
these issues for you.

If you take the time to do the emotional work necessary to meet the
right person, you truly do not need to join a matchmaking service...
you will be able to attract her yourself.

Sincerely yours,

Nancy Pina
Relationship Expert & Author
The Right Relationship Can Happen
http://www.yourtruematch.com
Subject: Re: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
From: nenna-ga on 01 May 2005 22:16 PDT
 
Thank you very much for the wonderful rating and comments you left for
me. Hopefully we can be of service to you again. I'm always glad to
see a satisfied customer.

Nenna-GA
Subject: Re: Advice on high-level matchmaking service for very successful gentlemen
From: jummai-ga on 08 May 2005 01:08 PDT
 
You may find the review for the dating service sites from the following blog:

http://e-dating.blogspot.com 

Scroll down on the right hand side then click at the "Top Dating Site"
under "Most Popular".

Hope this helps...
Jummai

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