Hello ppl4world-ga,
I am going to answer your question broken down into parts that match
your 1-6 list you mentioned.
1) Have advice on finding the right service
The most important thing is finding a service that meets YOUR needs.
What are you looking for exactly? Make yourself a list of the
qualities that matter to you in a service.
Some examples are:
24-7 availability to look at matches on your own time (internet), or
would you rather do it with a consultant of the service?
Are looks more important than personality, or vice versa? Do you want
a service that will focus on a personality match, or that markets
based on looks, then personality?
Do you want a service that only has women in your area, or across the
county, state, and/or country?
Does their clientele match up with your target demographic? If you are
looking for a woman in her 30?s, what is their average age of a woman
looking for a man? If it is 18 or 50, you are not going to have a lot
of opportunity. How many members in your demographic are there?
Do you want somewhere that sets up your date, or you can set your own?
Do you want them to help with contact between both of you, or would
you like to contact them yourself? Do you want anonymity or not?? (Do
you want them to give out your name/number to matches or not)
Maker a list of what is important to you, your definite needs,
?maybes,? and things you are indifferent about, and take them with you
to see if the company matches your needs and wants.
2) Find true testimonials / meet prior clients to learn about their experience.
Most websites that offer a service that you?re looking for, such as
the ones you mentioned looking at from the other question here on GA,
will (and SHOULD) let you see real life testimonials and have
references. I believe any business that charges that amounts these
companies mentioned should make customer service and satisfaction a
number one priority and give you that way to be SURE that they?re
going to be able to offer what they say they can, which is a
successful match.
Since I am sure higher profile people who use these services like to
remain anonymous (for example, on the web they would not want names
and contact info published), I am sure that thru the service, some
would be willing to come forward and talk to you or offer references.
If they cannot give you that, I would not use the service. If this is
an important piece of the puzzle, then do not give it up. If they
cannot offer it, it is not the right service for you.
3) Learn realistic expectations (i.e. is this a scam, etc)
Not everyone is going to find the ?perfect? person through a dating
site or matchmaker. No matter how many claims are made that they can,
it is just not possible to please 100% of the people 100% of the time,
which means there is a chance you will not find what you were hoping
for. It is unreasonable to make a claim like that, and anyone who says
they can guarantee a match is lying, as the saying says? ?Nothing is
guaranteed except death and taxes,? right?
Therefore, no matter how good the credentials of a company, you cannot
be assured everlasting love with someone. Keep a realistic expectation
in mind not only of the service they are offering, but what you can
also expect. A company like the ones mentioned may increase your odds
better than the bar scene, but nothing is 100%.
I would also recommend checking out each company through your local
Better Business Bureau. Listed below is the location of the New York
Website. Also, not only check that, but their online resource for
sites that belong to their online ?division.?
http://www.newyork.bbb.org/
http://www.bbbonline.org/
This is also part of your question #2. Getting those real life
testimonials, meeting people who have used the service, etc are part
of this as well. A good company should be able to provide credentials
you can research and verify. They should also be willing to provide
you with this information before you pay a cent, so that you can be
sure of the service that you are getting.
4) What is the incentive for woman to join? Are they simply after
money or for a good life-long partnership?
I am sure that depends on the woman. Some women are looking for a
life-long partnership, and I am sure some women are looking for the
man with the wallet. I am sure the incentive varies for both types.
For some, the incentive might be finding a life-partner, on their
career level, making as much as them financially and used to a busy,
glamorous life. For some women, the incentive of joining might be
finding a man who will give them a glam lifestyle with money because
they would like a ?sugar-daddy.? This is why I think the personalized
services might be better than online ones for someone who is looking
for love and commitment. Being that each member would be personally
screened, it may be easier for the matchmaker to weed out the
moneygrubbers because she/he has seen it repeatedly, and knows the
signs of someone who is defrauding vs. someone who is in it for love.
I also recommend using a female matchmaker if you are a male, because
I think women are able to read women?s true intentions better than a
male can (personal opinion).
5) What is the incentive of the company to deliver good service after
I paid all the fee (which is upfront)? Seems to me very low.
I believe with the amount of money being asked for, a contract is
involved. I?m sure many other men in your position has asked the same
question, and the contract SHOULD guarantee certain things to you,
such as personalized service, meeting your needs, or your money
refunded in part or full. Ask to see the contract before you sign it,
and take it to a lawyer and ask him the same question. ?What says I
get service meeting my requirements and what they said they would do
after I paid them?? I believe them taking your money, and not
providing a service would result in legal action against the company.
Have the lawyer check into law/public record databases to see if any
other legal complaints have been filed against the matchmaker/service.
Once again, make sure you are going to be happy, and have rights
before you pay them anything. If they want your business, and are
legit, they should be willing to make sure you are ready to go before
you pay them thousands of dollars.
6) What alternatives should someone like me consider (walking into
exclusive night club and hitting on next good looking girl there is
not my thing...)
What is your thing? Do you like theater, dance, arts, horses, skiing?
There is always that option as well to meet someone who obviously
shares an interest in something you do.
Do you have any friends who could play matchmaker? Your friends know
you best; do they have anyone they would recommend?
Find women who run in the same social circle as you. Someone who is
your equal is bound to be more real then someone you meet out who
knows you have money and wants to gain that and not your love. Someone
who does not need what you have will not just be with you because you
have what they need/want. Make sense?
If this answer requires further explanation, please request
clarification before rating it, and I will be happy to look into this
further.
Nenna-GA
Google Answers Researcher |
Clarification of Answer by
nenna-ga
on
29 Apr 2005 08:02 PDT
Hello again,
I did some reviews of the sites mentioned in the other question you
referenced, and some digging of my own. I?ll list a few sites and why
they would be the best match for your needs.
Janis Spindel
This sounds like a great service, some of the reasons I think it would
be best for you is?
She has had 715+ couples wed and 800+ in monogamous relationships.
They?re perfectly willing to put you in touch with current and former
clients for testimonials.
They prescreen all of their women and only accept highly educated
women. As she put it to me on the phone this AM, ?They can all buy
their own dinner, and they don?t need a man for that.? They go quite
in-depth to make sure the women are of the caliber that a man in your
position would be looking for.
As far as it not being a scam, Janis has? ?been featured on programs
such as The CBS Early Show, Fox News, The O'Reilly Factor, The Weekend
Today Show, The Metro Channel's New York Central and Naked New York,
and NY1. Janis has also been heard on The Joan Hamburg Radio Show as
well as National Public Radio.?
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com/press.htm
The bulk of their clients are in their 30?s, 40?s, and 50?s, so the
age range seems appropriate for you as well.
http://www.janisspindelmatchmaker.com
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Samantha?s Table also seems like a good service. Not only does she
match you with clients, she matches you with people in her social
network and that she meets that she thinks would be a good match.
Therefore, the country is her dating pool. She currently has over
10,000 people in her dating database.
?During the consultation, we will spend a lot of time talking about
your hobbies, interests, upbringing, lifestyle, career, etc., and we
will also spend a lot of time talking about your past relationships
and why you think they didn't work.?
This sounds good for you, because it matches interests instead of looks.
All of her clients are college educated; many have graduate degrees,
and are successful, especially in the NY and LA areas.
?My clients are driven and success-oriented. They tend to travel
extensively, eat at the finest restaurants, attend the theatre, admire
and acquire art, and patronize many of the most worthy and visible
charities in their city. They have worked hard to succeed in their
professions and now they are ready to enjoy life and all it has to
offer with that one person who is ready to do the same.?
If you?re interested, please fill out the registration form at :
http://www.samanthastable.com/Form/NewClientForm.asp
And someone will be back in touch with you within a weeks time.
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Selective Search has a database of over 5000 women who they comb
through and handpick a match for you from. They refer to their women
as ?needles in a haystack? when it comes to quality. If they do not
have someone who matches your needs in their database, they have over
30 scouts who will actively search out the person you?re looking for.
You also get a dedicated recruiter.
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I believe those three would be the best matches for you. You could
also try the ?Dinner for Six? idea.
You dine in small groups of 6 to 10 people, all within your age group,
equal men and women. Upon arrival you are greeted by a New York Dinner
host and provide introductions, then, you are on to dinner. This my be
a way to get out and meet men and women of your age group, who could
introduce you to the social scene a bit more.
?Our main purpose is to introduce singles ,enjoy good food, good
conversation and just have fun. Its not just for dating. Its a great
way to network if you are looking for a new job, expand your social
circle, or find an activity partner. Remember everyone has single
friends and co-workers, so you never know who can introduce you to
someone new. You may contact us the following day if you want to get
in touch with someone from your dinner party and we will pass a
message on. New York Quick Date offers other social events that are
strictly for dating!?
http://www.newyorkquickdate.com/events/singlesdinners/index.html
I hope this helps you out. If you?d like to know more about other
sites and options, feel free to post another question and I?ll do my
best to help you out.
Nenna-GA
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