Can it be said that the following desciption of a person has a better
quality of life than almost anyone who has ever lived?

They have: good health, have lived to a good age (61), no deceased
children, a significantly above average income (for UK), a successful
career, strong friendships, strong relationship with children,
beautiful house in countryside, intelligence, education, born in 1943
so not had to fight in any wars... only problem is wife has left him
for another man...

I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to do here... to put a little
perspective on things and demonstrate that compared to almost anyone
in history (relatively speaking) his life is amazing.

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Clarification of Question by rai130-ga on 06 Apr 2005 10:28 PDT

Thank you very much for your comments. Maybe I need to clarify... what
I need is something along the lines of, 'this sort of lifestyle is in
the top x% of sweet lives ever lived'.

BTW... this guy is my father and he is in psychiatric hospital at the
moment receiving counselling etc...

Yes ... Truly amazing ... So, I guess he's fretting because his wife left him?

This happens and I am surprised at how many seemingly ideal marriages break up.

The problem is that (say this quietly) ... Women are NEVER satisfied ...

Shhhhhhhhhhh!

BRYAN!!!!

I heard that!!!

You shouldn't make wide sread assumptions of all women. 
You are a bad boy : )

Rai130...

As far as this man's life is concerned, I hope he gets some
counselling. It is hard when a seemingly loving spouse cheats and
leaves, but hopefully with friends, support and counselling, he will
realize that he still has a good life. It will take time, but it will
get better.

Steph53

Rather than tell him how good his life is, use an inverse proportion,
use reverse psychology on him.

Note: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.

Try this:

Chap look at you god, man you look horrible.  Why look at the horrible
place you live, it so far from the city, god knows its too quiet
around here.  I bet in fact your kids hate to drive and come to see
you don't they?  And that degree from Oxford, it has sucked to live
your life, hasn't helped you a bit has it?

et al et al.

Now, as you bring him these questions his obvious answer will be No,
you numbskull, I have a great life, and after each question he answers
NO, you remind him what A Great Life it truly is.  Remind him of his
strong relationship to children, freinds, community, the respite of
the home, his work. etc.


Best of luck!

Clint

PS Bryan, talk softer next time!

Hi, Again, rai130-ga

I am so sorry to learn that it is your father who is causing you concern.

His depression must be very worrying for you but your father needs
expert attention and he should be receiving this in hospital.

There is all kinds of medication that can be tried to bring relief and
I hope that the experts can provide the right prescription.

My Best Wishes for his early recovery,

Bryan

I don't know if any of that is going to work, and some of the
suggestions are contradictory, and I doubt that that refelctions about
how good your father's life has been will help either  - may just
raise the question of why she left him more poinantly (I never could
spell).
I would suggest that he immerse himself in his favorite hobby or
pursue a neglected interest (philosophy, carpentry, painting,
whatever, his old sport?) something engrossing that preferably brings
him in contact with new people, possibly new friends, persons in whose
presence he doesn't have to assume his old role.
Maybe that is something you could suggest, or maybe suggest to someone
from whom he might find it easier to accept the suggestion.  That can
be a problem, too.  Does he have widowed or divorced friend that could
talk to him?  Maybe one from the past that is now not so close (still
remembed college chum?) that could come along and say:  "Buck up,
let's go to the races," or whatever to reintroduce him to some
activity he enjoyed in the past?

I sincerely hope you will find a way to help him.

I am not sure that his past is particularly relevant now.

If he had had a tough past, he would probably be more resilient
- but 'could have beens' are rather unhelpful

My guess is that there are two strands at work
- the first is that he has probably retired from work
- the second is that he is knocked sideways 
  - probably utterly humilliated
  - and physically at a loss 
    - is he a good cook ?
    - did he hit the bottle ?
(note: these questions are rhetorical - not an attempt to pry)

He probably feels as if he is sitting on a four legged stool that is
missing one leg.

The practical solution is a very nice 55 year old widow
- someone you all like and approve of (ok - of whom you approve)

The short term solution is to ship him off to one of those Health Farms.
- spot the hidden agenda
I do not think that it would be a good idea to let him rattle around
in the house in the country.

You can quote all the statistics you want and tell him that his life
is better than most but I'm not sure that's going to help him.  It
sounds like he is focusing on only one part of his life and probably
the one that meant the most to him.  It sounds like he really loved
his wife and may have been willing to trade in all the other material
things for.

I would focus on the strong friendships and relationships with the
children and the fact that everyone is healthy.  The career, house,
etc may be irrelevant to him given what happened.  He is experiencing
self pity and rightfully so.  Give him time because it may pass, and
if he knows that there are others to love him and stand by him it may
speed up that process and help him to realize how good he really has
it.

Thank you all very much for all your kind comments and concern.
However, I am already aware of all the points you make and for a very
specific reason I need to be able to show that he has an amazing
quality of life compared to most. Could someone please attempt an
answer at this... eg there is 5.8% of the population ever to have
lived alive at the moment, he is in the top 1% of that ete etc. He is
in hospital, he is receiving treatment and he knows what the important
things in life are but if possible, I need this question answered.
Thank you.

Hi, Again, rai130

Only a Researcher can provide an Answer and so far none has appeared
among the comments.

Maybe if a few likely names are mentioned one may step forward.

For example: Politicalguru-ga, Easterangel-ga, Crabcakes-ga,
Cynthia-ga, Pinkfreud-ga, Sublime1-ga, Omnivorous-ga ...

You get the idea?

All the Best

Bryan