I have been with my fiance for 18 months and I would love to do
romantic things for him...because I like doing them as well as it's
nice. And although I know his well I not sure what to do. I have no
spare cash and I think that the best ideas are simple things that are
cheap to do. A little info on him: he's 24 loves skateborading,
football (soccer) and punk music. He hates flowers, pop music, horror
stories and cooking. Over the past year or so I've cooked him romantic
meals and made punk compilations (although its not my cup of tea so
didn't always get it spot on). He's very gentle and sweet but
definately a man's man/ But I want to spoil him and do things that are
different from just telling him how much I love him. I'm hoping to get
about ten things that will suprise him and let him know how much I
think about him. I not particularly romantic even thouh I'm a woman.

---

Clarification of Question by radiant_ruby-ga on 07 Apr 2005 00:05 PDT

Wow this is all good stuff. As we will be getting married soon I
wonder if anyone would like to offer advice on keeping the romance
going when you're married? I guess everything changes and I don't want
to become complacent as I believe you have to work as hard (if not
harder)...

Just keep on being you.

He obviously loves you just as you are and your imposing supposedly
romantic things on him might not be appreciated.

The best thing is simply to share your life with him by giving him
your love and consideration all the time.

A man knows about these things.

Hi Radiant_ruby...

I'm a very romantic lady and just LOVE all mushy things.

A nice gesture would be to leave your fiance' little notes in his
lunch bag or briefcase. The notes can be a "just thinking of you" or
"hope your day is going well" type of thing.

Another thing is that if he has a favourite punk band, get a picture
and have it framed and give it to him just because.... He'll think
about you every time he sees it on his wall : )

Steph53

He's into some pretty strenuous activities so why not consider giving
him a back-rub or massage after he's been skateboarding?

For his love of soccer why not show him you've spent the time to
research his hobby and find some cool websites for him.  There's a
cool football quiz site at: www.football-nut.co.uk which has free
monthly and daily quizzes and some great football prizes. You could
either enter the quiz yourself and try to win him a prize or just show
him that you've found the site just for him.

Also, if he's into football, I'm sure he loves watching it on the TV? 
And very often us men get grief when we're watching it because we
should be doing other things!!   Why not take a look in the paper to
find out when there's a game on TV and arrange a football night for
him (or both of you) where you serve him beer during the game and have
some chips and dips or something tasty to snack on ...... and
importantly give him some peace to watch and enjoy the football?

For some other romantic ideas, take a look at www.dating-tips-online.com

I hope this helps.

Sorry, I didn't give you those web addresses properly!
They are http://www.football-nut.co.uk for the football quiz site and
http://www.dating-tips-online.com for more romantic ideas.

He sounds like a very lucky guy, and agree completely with probonopublico.

My wife and I have had bad days when she demands that I'm not putting
effort into being romantic enough. I have no idea what that means or
how to add it to our relationship.

My opinion is that this stuff all comes to her from watching Oprah
talkshows. She got upset with me when I refused to watch "The
Bachelorette". I hate those shows, but she kept saying, "You could
learn something." Learn what? Learn how people behave on an "all
expenses paid", luxury vacation away from the realities of everyday
life?

What if you do 10 things and then all that work does not get you the
full appreciation that you feel you deserve for your hard work? I'd
try only one thing to learn the reaction before continuing.

You could put him in a position where he dreads the sight of something
(surprise!) romantic you did because that means he has to stop
everything he wanted to do or else he's going to make you mad and get
in trouble. It can turn holidays and special occasions into chores.

I think it is better if you two share the same vision about something
you both have in common, and work together for that goal. It is nice
that you made punk cd's for him, but if you don't like the same music,
that's a little bit wrong in a way.

I have to learn that my wife and I are very enthusiastic about
unrelated things. We need our own time and space just as importantly
as we need time together. Think about how you both can enjoy your time
together more.

HI, Radiant!
all good comments in the opinion of one with 30+ years of marriage,
and I especially appreciated the one by graft-ga, recognizing some
parallels ...
Probono is right, and Steph is too, though a man (like me) can become
inured to a constant flow of those notes.  Steph, maybe not :-), and I
read that Mark Twain left a little letter to his wife every morning on
her breakfast place, so maybe he had real good appreciation of what
girls like and need.

Your question has reminded me of something I want to tell my daughter
and son-in-law of 10 months, who also have quite different interests.
 
I want to suggest to them that they find something that they both
really like to do together and with other people, something that is a
regular committment, like going to church (just as an example), where
they feel obligated to join others in a common activity and would be
missed.  Singing in a chorus, going bowling, a weekly discussion group
or course, whatever it could be that they both enjoyed enough to feel
committed to do it, even if the harmony at home at that moment wasn't
so good, but the routine and commitment to do that together  -
whatever it could be -  would be a bridge to let them feel and recall
that they had more in common than whatever was the cause of the
momentary disharmony.
Does that make sense?  I hope it does, even if it is not the answer to
your question but more something that I want to try to express, but
maybe  - indirectly -  it is sort of an answer.  "... share your life
with him ..." to take an excerpt from the first comment, to find
something that you can share together  - besides each other.
Thanks for your question, it has given me a start towards telling my
"kids" the same.

Ok, might be a bit fru fru for your guy, but once my guy took me to a
card shop and showed me all of  the cards he would buy if he could
afford them.  Worked for me - I married him.

Congratulations!

Now I KNOW why you are radiant.

Yes ... you must continue to care for and think of each other.

It isn't hard work if you make it a labour of love.

And it's very rewarding.

I wish you both a lifetime of Happiness,

Bryan

Here are a few romantic things that I've been a part of over the years:

Surprise Breakfast in Bed
Flower conveniently hidden near a pier pylon I knew we would be walking by
Poems.  Classical Ones and Ones I've written.  Men appreciate poems
too.  If they are given to us in private and our appreciation isn't
flaunted.
Impromptu camping trip, picnic, afternoon stroll on the beach.
Cookies.  Everybody loves cookies.
Surprise Beer, Sex, and Pizza in bed day.  (not necessarily in that order)
Rolling up a small note, and inserting it in the bottom of a rose. 
(right at the base of the flower).  It has to be really thin, but when
the flower blooms, the note will be there waiting to be spotted.
For a sports fan, there will be days when he knows it's going to be
difficult to watch the game - because of family plans, kids, the fact
that he's been watching too much sports lately, etc.  Pick a day when
you know he really wants to watch a game, yet it's definitely a time
when he probably will have difficulty watching it peacefully.  Invite
a friend of his over, give them a six pack, order some food for them,
and then take off with the girls for the day.

Oh and one more thing:
Never go to bed angry.

Don't buy him anything. When girls go shopping, they buy things for
eachother. When men go shopping, they buy things for themselves, to
feel better among other boys. Ask your mom how to steam that gingered
grouper and finish of the feast with nutty chocolates and fresh
tarragon tea. No alcohol, just tea. He's in for a surprise.

surprise beer, sex, and pizza.......f***ing awesome!!!!

I used to motivate my man to pick up his clothes and empty his
pockets, and generally clean up around the house by leaving "S.O.D."
notes hidden throughout the house.

What's a S.O.D. note?

Sex On Demand, --Any time, Any place.

He absolutely loved them. He'd come out of the bedroom (or wherever)
holding this piece of paper with a wicked grin...

I skateboard, and I would personally love it if a girl would just take
the time to learn how to skateboard, so that I could actually skate
and spend time with her. That, and a new deck or shoes or a weekend in
another town just to skate  beats the "TV, beer, football" thing
anyday. Though new stuff isn't required by all means, it is more of a
nice gesture than anything. The kicker, the thing that would really
take the cake is if a girl would just learn how to skateboard. It
would mean the world to me.