When is it time to give all 'what' up? Your statement:
"In the last 3 years I have gone thru a gamut of emotions
about who or what I am.."
...would seem to imply that you're ready to give up your
sense of who you know yourself to be. Emotions are based
on judgments which stem from beliefs, so the emotions
you're experiencing with respect to who or what you are
are based on your beliefs about who or what you experience
yourself to be versus who or what you think you should be.
The important thing to understand is that both who or what
you experience yourself to be, and who or what you think
you should be, are based on beliefs. Beliefs are at the
root of how you experience and judge yourself, as they are
at the root of how you think you 'should' be.
And, as I've mentioned in other answers to your questions,
and to those of others, I don't know of any tool for
examining and changing beliefs which surpasses AvatarŪ.
I'd suggest you explore those answers in which I've discussed
the AvatarŪ course and tools it provides, many of which are
online and free:
There are now also 7 mini-courses available online at no cost,
which should take you a long way in a productive exploration:
The bell rings when you strike it...