Dear Fellow Scientists,

I frequently enjoy perusing the world wide web at random, and have
often found sites which amuse, confuse, astound, and befuddle me. 
However not so long ago, whilst on one of my superhighway jaunts, I
stumbled across this website.  http://people.bath.ac.uk/cs2sjr/

After browsing the lovely art section, and reading the fascinating
"Daily Diary", I decided I would like to see the visage of this
delightfully talented and modest young man.  However when I found said
pictures, I was most taken aback.  Upon visiting the aptly named
"About Me" section, you will in fact find that this young genius is of
a skin colour not comparable to his compatriots, And that he does in
fact bear more resemblance to the enslavened residents of wonka's
legendary chocolate factory, the oompa loompa's.

Is this a skin malfunction given to him by God in order to balance out
all the other fantastic qualities bestowed upon him, or is it simply
more common in some parts of Britain to have the likeness of a
tangerine?

Please explain this phenomenon to me, I doubt I will sleep until I
have the most detailed of explanations.

Thankyou Kindly,
Caracticus Potts.

---

Clarification of Question by caracticus-ga on 14 Apr 2005 10:03 PDT

Just to clarify, I am looking for a carefully researched and genuine
scientific explanation.

Any accusations regarding potential or partial membership of the Oompa
Loompa gene pool must be substantiated.

Dear Caracticus Potts,

Five possibilities:
1. Poor photography/bad lighting.
2. Lying on the sunbed for too long.
3. Too much drink.
4. He?s not washed off the watercolours he was using earlier.
5. Gone rusty from the wet weather we have in the UK.

It is not beyond comprehension that among this young hero's many
attributes he also has the ability, chameleon-like, to change colour.
This is probably a reaction to his environment and circumstances at
any given time and possibly is not totally under his pconscious
control. It is just conceivable that at the time of being photographed
he was on a pub crawl and had consumed copious amounts of lager.

I would say that someone used Photoshop or The Gimp to colourize your face.

- note the pixellations, and the overrun on your lass's arm.

On the plus side, the HTML looked pretty clean, no JavaSlop etc
- it could have done with some formatting ( #9 is cheap on bandwidth )
- it also looks like an edited 'out of the box' solution
- Indent
   - Indent
       - Indent

Oddly, I don't mind CSS, provided it degrades gracefully.
- you could do a bit more with the pseudomenu on the LHS
- CSS can make those things look quite interactive 
  - while providing (or rather not abusing) the principles behind HTML

Grudgingly, I'll state that your effort is a lot better than many
commercial websites
- that is a back handed compliment

Not sure about the content

Maybe he was just recovering from an episode of jaundice.

Maybe he eats lots of carrots.

See this previous question:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=408690

Regards

THX1138

Dear Caracticus (or did you mean Caractacus?) Potts

The clue lies in the text below the photograph ...

QUOTE:

I have recently taken up photography ...

END QUOTE

Clearly, the man in question is a Jack of All Trades (and Master of
None) and he has not yet got the hang of his Kodak Brownie Box Camera.

"Give him Time", I say (preferably 10 years Hard Labour).

Also, please send Truly Scrumptious to me, soonest.

Many thanks.

Baron Bomburst

Oh, but do I know that color... or colour. Having attended a
University in Scotland, one learns two things quite quickly.
1) There is not much sun the UK
2) University folk love to party

While most would find these truths to be self evident, the
consequences are often unforseen. This is a classic case of such
consequences. In an attempt to generate a more swarthy hue (limited by
case 1), ostensibly to improve chances of impressing others while
engaged in activity - I have seen people apply "Tan-In-A-Can," oft to
disasterous effect. Should one wish to venture out with this "healthy
orange glow," please be adiviesed to wait the full "curing time." This
is particularly important while drinking, as ethanol will remove the
TanInACan in a comically neat circle around the lips.

I found an individual who seems resemble this one on the Wonka page at:

http://www.briandunning.com/listings/willy-wonka.htm

What do you think?