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Q: How do I plan to get my girlfriend back? ( No Answer,   0 Comments )
Subject: How do I plan to get my girlfriend back?
Category: Relationships and Society > Romance
Asked by: fugazi21-ga
List Price: $3.00
Posted: 25 Apr 2005 20:26 PDT
Expires: 25 Apr 2005 20:46 PDT
Question ID: 514223
My girlfriend and I started dating three years ago, when I was a
Freshman in community college and she was a junior in High School. 
Our relationship has been extremely close and very good save a few
minor problems since I transfered to another school and she enrolled
at another one 250 miles away.  Yesterday she left me, citing three

1)  She says we have communication problems.  Yes, I admit that we do,
although they are minor.  She is emotional and I am very logical and
we sometimes get into fights because she is quick to be defensive and
raise her voice and I don't know how to calm her down.  She was raised
in a strict household and doesn't know how to argue her reasons very
well because her parents controlled everything and never let her have
a say, so she resorts to tantrums.  She believes that we have no
chance to get over this and that it is hopeless.  I am going to the
counciling center tomorrow and to the library to see what resources
there are available on this so I can show her specific examples.

2)  This is the biggie.  She is mostly leaving me because she knows
that if we stay together, we will end up marrying and spending our
lives together.  She feels that I am set on this and is scared because
we started dating when she was younger and hasn't had the same
experiences I have.  It has been an issue in the past that she feels
like she doesn't know what she wants or who she really is because we
have both grown up a lot since we started dating.  I feel that I might
be able to alleviate this by showing her that I now understand this (I
didn't until now) and say "it must be really hard having to see me be
so sure about this future and not knowing if you want to live up to
it."  Truthfully, I take things as they come and I have personally
gotten past this by taking it one step at a time and just evaluating
it as it comes... its been so great and we have so much to look
forward to that I don't think we should break up over a fear like

3)  She feels that I don't listen.  I didn't know that this was a
problem until she told me yesterday.  I don't know exactly how to
alleviate this except to apologize sincerely and tell her that I will
do my best to work on it because it  obviously means a lot to her

Soooo... since I am so far away, I guess my options are 1) call her
tonight and try to do this on the phone (predicted rejection: high),
2)  give her more time to settle down and call her tomorrow afternoon
(predicted rejection:  medium, but I dont want to wait too long), or
3) drive down tomorrow and show up around dinner time with some
flowers, calmly ask her if we can talk about it over (an expensive)
dinner.  Please, please help me!  Shes been totally broken up over it
and I know there isn't someone else involved.  I'm not controlling or
possessive, I just haven't given up and I dont want us to end over
something so stupid when we've both been so incredibly happy together
and perfect for each other.
There is no answer at this time.

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