Hi pattyjrn,
Congratulations of gaining a Daughter!
I searched dozens of Russian Wedding sites and collected all the
traditions I could find. I didn't find anything *specifically* for the
Mom-in-Law, but there are plenty of customs/traditions to choose from,
that will show your new Daughter-in-Law that you have done your
homework.
Links (my sources) are below the list of Traditions I outlined for
you. These ALL pertain to the Reception. I suggest you simply select
a few of these and incorporate them into the festivities. I would skip
the "city tour" part...
A tasteful flyer to the Americans could let them know what is
expected, like the breaking of the champagne glasses... Anything you
do will endear your new daughter-in-law to you, she will appreciate
your efforts!
I picked up AFTER the wedding... (in no particular order)
..."After the tour of the town, a gala feast is held. This is not
unlike wedding receptions in the West. The event features quantities
of food, drink, dancing, toasting, singing and general merriment. The
big difference being, it lasts for two days! ..... The party seems to
be the main event and the ceremony secondary..."
1) sprinkling of coins on the couple to sybolize wealth
2) Once the reception celebration has begun, a relative or close
friend will make a wedding toast to the bride and groom. In keeping
with Russian custom, everyone throws their champagne glasses on the
floor. It is considered good luck if the glasses break when they hit
the ground.
3) the feast/gala/party/reception lasts 2 (two) days ?!?!?!
4) "stealing the bride". If the groom takes his eyes off the bride,
she might get stolen and the groom will have to pay ransom.
5) In one part of the ceremony (at the reception) the bread is bitten
into by the bride and groom, the one who takes the largest bite wears
the pants in the family!
6) when the bride and groom enter the reception, they are greeted by
their parents, who give them an offering of bread and salt.
7) The groom is also handed a shot glass of straight vodka, which he
must down in one go. When the glass is empty, he must throw the shot
glass over his right shoulder. This makes for a great speech from the
groom!
8) In traditional Russian wedding ceremonies, all of the guests
receive a token of the bride and groom's appreciation. The gift is
usually in the form of a small frame or miniature vase.
9) There is no tradition of a wedding cake in Russia though they will
probably adopt this western tradition soon; Russians enjoy rituals.
They give a cake at the end of the reception (which most guests miss
dancing and having fun; there is much more dancing at Russian
weddings), but there is no custom of bride and groom cutting it
together.
10) Most Russian weddings have live music and some guy with a mic who
tries to be entertaining, tries to keep everyone drinking and so on.
11) the most popular and prominent Russian wedding tradition. For the
first toast people usually drink Champagne, and after the first sip
somebody says "Gor'ko!" ("Bitter!"); it means the vine is bitter. All
guests together start to shout "Gor'ko! Gor'ko!" To make the vine
sweet, the newlywed couple must kiss each other. They must stand up
and kiss each other for as long as possible, and all the guests start
counting "1, 2, 3, 4 , 5..." while they are kissing. If the couple was
not kissing long enough, the guests can insist that the vine is still
bitter, and request another kiss. This happens after almost every
following toast, so the couple has lots of kissing during the wedding.
12) The second toast is always for the parents; and after a witness
announced the toast, the bride and the groom have their say of "Thank
you" to both bride's and groom's parents. (With another "Gor'ko!" and
kissing afterwards.) ..... Then the witnesses continue running the
wedding, reading jokes and poems, and sometimes asking the new couple
questions to make fun of them. Witnesses ask one person or another to
say the next toast, usually in the order how people sit, one by one.
The pause in between the toasts is 5-10 minutes, when people have time
to eat and talk, then the next guest gets up and says the toast.
Usually when a person says the toast, he gives his gift to the
newlywed.
13) Traditionally money is considered as the best gift, and is given
in an envelope. Some time after the beginning of the reception when
people start to become drunk the witnesses will ask everybody to give
their gifts and one of the witnesses will collect envelopes from the
rest of the guests with a tray. Then the first part of the reception
is over.
DAY 2 FEAST TRADITIONS (smaller, close family & friends, less food)
14) Guests are not given knives, spoons or forks (sometimes no
glasses are given either) - they must "buy" things if they want to eat
and drink (actually, they borrow them because they don't take knives
or forks home). Of course one can bring a knife and fork with him but
it's in bad taste - though if you do, it will only add joy to the
event (if you don't mind making a fool of yourself). The money goes to
the newlyweds.
15) There is no strict structure for the second day reception but it
also includes lots of toasts and "Gor'ko!"
16) After the meal the bride must "clean" the floor in the room. The
fun part is that guests are allowed to mess as much as they want while
she is cleaning - this is what they are actively doing, but they only
can mess with money - coins or banknotes. Usually people make a
special effort to get lots of change, so the bride has to work hard.
The collected money belongs to the couple, and some generous guests
can significantly contribute to the new family's budget.
By all means, go to Russia and enjoy the Feast! In Russia, having FUN
is the most important aspect of the wedding celebration. Plan on it
lasting 2 days though...
These are the best links, many ideas and details:
Russian wedding protocol, part 2: The Wedding; Day 1 (don't miss day 2)
http://www.womenrussia.com/wedding1.htm
Another great link with colorful descriptions.
http://www.russia.com/forums/showthread.php3?threadid=8180
Russian Wedding Traditions
http://www.russian-women-for-marriage.com/russian_wedding.html
..." After the wedding, it is customary for the wedding party to hop
in their decorated cars and make a tour of their town's historically
sites, leaving flowers at each. In Moscow, popular stops include the
Grave of the Unknown Soldier and Sparrow Hills near Moscow State
University. If you are in St. Petersburg, likely stops will be the
Rostral Columns, the Bronze Horseman statue, Field of Mars and so on.
Seth mentions other wedding traditions such as sprinkling of coins on
the couple to sybolize wealth and others. There is "stealing the
bride". If the groom takes his eyes off the bride, she might get
stolen and the groom will have to pay ransom. Most Russian weddings
have live music and some guy with a mic who tries to be entertaining,
tries to keep everyone drinking and so on.
After the tour of the town, a gala feast is held. This is not unlike
wedding receptions in the West. The event features quantities of food,
drink, dancing, toasting, singing and general merriment. The big
difference being, it lasts for two days! ..."
Scroll down to RUSSIA
http://www.laserimageworks.com/WeddingTips2.asp
..."After the wedding, the couple often makes a tour of local famous
sites. Then they return for the wedding party, which is the main
event. One tradition in Russian marriage feats is that champagne
glasses are thrown on the floor after a toast and drinking. If the
glasses break it is considered to bring good fortune..."
MORE LINKS
Russian Wedding Traditions
http://www.i-do.com/network/ShowArticle.asp?article=17&topic=23&host=8
Russian Wedding Traditions
http://www.iarelative.com/wedding/russian.htm
Links to Russian Wedding Songs of all types (Traditional, Sacred,
Orthadox, Georgian,
Russian Wedding Gifts
http://www.therussianshop.com/russhop/wedding/gifts.htm
If I can be of further assistance in regards to Russian Wedding
Reception customs and traditions, please don't hesitate to ask via the
"request for clarification" feature...
~~Cynthia
Search terms used at Google:
Russian Reception OR feast "mother-in-law"
"Russian Wedding" customs OR traditions feast OR reception |
