tss-fla: Think you answered your own question.
The short answer is that it's obvious that she needs to stop feeling
sorry for herself through self-victimization and move on. But in
constructive thought I have included the long answer below.
When you said "We have all tried to help but know that she needs to do
this on her own" you brought up the heart of the matter. Only by
creating "positives" through effort can she overcome the "negatives"
that she has already created for herself.
Here's what you wanted to hear about employment:
She should not be searching for a job.
She should be out there actively applying for TWO jobs. Here's why:
She needs one during the day. If she qualifies for a minimum-wage job
she should take it and move on. The job does not define who she is.
Then she needs to get another job in the evening, that she can take or
leave, so that she can eventually quit it once she goes back to school
in the evenings or online. The fact that she already has an AA proves
that she can do this.
Having a goal will keep her focused.
Is it this easy? No. Only through continued effort, failing, and
getting back up will she accomplish moving on.
Regarding: "She seems terrified to apply anywhere," encourage her but
do not baby her. If you really want to help her, you or someone else
will probably have to be strict with her, but not to the point that
she will feel like a victim, which will only compound the problem.
Also: drug abuse stems from a need to escape current stresses. She
needs an outlet for this. If she has any hobbies or other healthy
stress-relieving activities, highly encourage her to do them.
Disclaimer: I have no professional expertise in career/psychiatric
fields, but I do know people who have dealt with these problems before
and are dealing with them now. This is just my common-sense opinion
and should not be construed as anything more.
"That'll be two cents to cover mine." |