I would like to know the easiest way to find out who is the person and
owner behind an e-mail address.  My daughter receives instant e-mails
from a lot of people we don't know, and a couple of them are rude,
refuse to identify themselves when they instant message me when I'm on
the computer and speak in language that my wife and I consider
unacceptable for us, much less my daughter.  Tonight I specifically
asked one person (I'm certain it was a guy) who he was because he was
asking me specifically when my daughter was going to be back home (she
is on vacation).  I asked who he was and he just continued to ask me
when she'd be home.  I asked again who it was on the other end.  After
a long pause he asked me why I needed to know.  I said he was asking
for information about my daughter and I was entitled to now who it was
I was providing it to.  He once again asked his question ignoring
mine, and when I said "bye" he responded twice back very rudely. 
That's probably more than you need to know.  Thank you very much!

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Request for Question Clarification by mwalcoff-ga on 10 Aug 2002 00:27 PDT

What domain is the e-mail address? That is, what comes after the "@" symbol?

---

Request for Question Clarification by alienintelligence-ga on 10 Aug 2002 00:39 PDT

Ahhh, you didn't mention instant messaging the
first time. And you say instant e-mails too?
Maybe you don't mean the email part?

So, we kinda need to know what it is. IF it's
Instant Messaging, like MSN, or AIM, you can 
sometimes pretty easily find out who they are.
There are ways... 


BUT..., next time one of these idiots gets online
with you... they obviously aren't smart... why
not pretend you are your daughter? You obviously
aren't against involving yourself up to this
point. So, next time, be your daughter. Tell
them that you want to call them, or anything.
Social Engineering once again. Sucker em in.
This goes for anyone on the net, don't agree to meet
them anywhere. We don't want to read about this
in the news.

Do remember though... as much as an oaf, or
perceived threat they may be, they have rights
still... so be careful not to infringe on them.

Maybe simplest solution is changing her login?


With some network snooping, if you establish a
"direct connection" with them thru the messaging
software, you can tell where their connection
is originating from.


good luck still,
-AI

Dear Markee, 

As alienintelligence-ga remarked, it seems like an instant messenger.
These programs (the more common ones: AOL, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ) are like a
"telephone line", which is always open - everyone who wants to can
contact you. These programs swarm with stupids who have nothing better
in life than to connect to people they don't know and try to befriend
(or hassle) them. Read more about instant messengers safety
information for parents here -
http://www.wiredteens.org/parentsim.html

It could be, that the people that contact your daughter: 
(1) Are strangers, and dangerous ones.  
(2) Are strangers, who are bored stupid individuals with no bad
intentions but to waste your daughter's time.
(3) Are friends of your daughter. The reason they are rude is because
they are teenagers, who unfortunately tend to be that way.

The reaction to each type varies. If your daughter gets messages you
consider as "harassment" or "threats" don't play with it. If you think
your daughter is in danger, contact the police immediately, because
online harassment is an offence, just like any other type of
harassment. According to Halt Abuse.org's site "We've been seeing more
cases involving abuse on instant messenger systems and message boards
on web sites" (source: WHOA Announces Cyberstalking Statistics January
11, 2001 http://www.haltabuse.org/about/pr/010111.shtml)

You can also *maybe* track down the offender and file a complaint
against him in his IP address (the source of his Internet). Please
make sure to have any details you can on that person - such as their
profile in the instant messenger (which is also where you can find his
IP address) and the type of messages. I wrote "maybe" because if this
person were really canny, he'd find ways to conceal his identity. As a
matter of fact, if you get to a "real" person, especially one you know
as one of your daughter's friends (and not Mr. Bob Serialkiller, 48
years-old, of Lake Michigan), it is probably rude, but harmless.

So, how to track? 
Technomom (who seems to have a very interesting site for parents in
general) also has some advices regarding your daughter's instant
messenger programs. Some are safety advices, and some tell you want to
do in case you're being harassed:
http://www.technomom.com/writing/avoid2.html
She advises (and I join) to use SamSpade.org
(http://www.samspade.org/) to track that is a user who hides behind an
IP and to track down who he really is.
She also mentions, that *there is no use* in contacting the Instant
Messenger firms (Yahoo! or ICQ, etc.), since they don't do anything
about it - a matter of policy! (Yes, a bit scandalous!)
You can contact her (she doesn't promise a quick respond) here -
http://www.technomom.com/email.html

More advice regarding harassment can be found here -
http://www.haltabuse.org/help/respond.shtml and in the Halt Abuse.org
site in general: http://www.haltabuse.org
http://www.onlineguardians.org/stalking.htm - have also information
and some advices regarding Instant Messenger stalking
http://www.onlinesafety101.com/im.htm more advises on Instant
messengers.

Here are some advices on tracing the individuals: 
http://www.pimall.com/nais/nl/n.aolid.html AOL
http://www.julieposey.com/yahoo.htm Yahoo! 
http://www.netfamilynews.org/sl990318.html ICQ tracing that person's
IP address and filing a complaint

Needless to say, that most chances are that these messages are
harmless, and come from bored individuals or rude friends of your
daughter. However, it is not only your right, but also your "duty", to
make all protection arrangements possible.

You should also talk with your daughter. After you understood that
your daughter's online activities and IP address could be traces, as
well as any other personal information she might have given, please
explain that to her. Please explain her the risks involved. You can
also confront her concerning the rude messages in general, and her
online activities. Make sure she doesn't feel like you're invading her
privacy, you probably know better than me how teenagers seem to be
touchy about this subject.

I hope these advices helped. Please contact me if you need any
clarifications before you rank the answer.

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Clarification of Answer by politicalguru-ga on 10 Aug 2002 03:38 PDT

Markee, 
I forgot to add my search terms that would help you in search for
further info:
"instant messenger" security 
identifying  ICQ user 
identifying "instant messenger" ICQ user
tracing "instant messenger" ICQ user
trace "instant messenger" ICQ user 
trace "instant messenger" user 
stalking "instant messenger" 
harassment "instant messenger" 
"what is an instant messenger" 

I also recommend these discussion groups: 
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&group=news.admin.net-abuse

In addition, if you are being bothered by a particular user, but,
don't want to take the time to track them down, most Instant Messenger
programs allow you to block messages from any user you choose.  Some
even allow you to click an "Abuse" button that flags their account for
review, and increases their "Warning Level" which is listed with their
user information for all to see.

For example, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) offers a "Block Buddy"
feature when you right-click on their name in your user list.

You'll need to create a direct connection to their machine, by using a
feature like sending a file, remote assitance, or a webcam/microphone
link.  When they have accepted a connection will be made from your
computer to theirs.  In the run box type "netstat 10" without the
brackets, and one of those connections will be their IP address.  Then
use a program like Visual route to trace this IP back, which will give
you details of their ISP and other useful stuff.