Here is my current PHP/MySQL code:

$pub_query = $this->query("SELECT id FROM $db_table WHERE name = '$value'");		
  if ((mysql_num_rows($pub_query) == 0)) {
   //echo "ZERO";
   $this->query("INSERT INTO $db_table (name) VALUES ('$value')");
   return mysql_insert_id();
} else {
   //echo "NOT ZERO";
   $pub_results = mysql_fetch_array($pub_query);
   return $pub_results['id'];
}

This means that 2 queries are performed.. instead of 1. I'm currently
working with about 400,000 rows of data, and need to cut back where
ever I can.

I know there is a CASE statement in MySQL that may be able to do this.

CASE
    WHEN search_condition THEN statement_list
    [WHEN search_condition THEN statement_list]
    [ELSE statement_list]
END CASE

If not maybe an IF statement that can get the same job done.

What you are trying to achieve is possible in mysql 4.0. You can find
some sample code on creating stored procs in MySQL on this link.

http://forums.mysql.com/read.php?98,19146,page=2