Hi Cull,
I think it?s wonderful that you want to help your daughter make a
smooth adjustment.
You could start by telling her that many, many children start a new
school for first grade, and that there will probably be other ?new?
kids in her classroom.
As I prepared this answer, I thought of things I had done for my two
daughters. Visit the school as soon as you can. Most schools are open
in the summer while teachers prepare for the coming year. Call and see
when you could schedule a visit with her teacher and tour the
classroom. Let the teacher know (privately) that your daughter has
some anxiety over going to a new school. Ask the teacher for some
first names of classmates, so your daughter will be familiar with some
names. Express enthusiasm over the names, saying things like ?Oh,
you?ll have a girl named ?Emily? in your class- she has the same name
as your aunt?, or perhaps making up a silly song with the names.
Take a picnic lunch in her new lunchbox, with juice in her thermos
and eat on campus, in the cafeteria if permitted, or outside on the
grass. Allow your daughter to play on the school playground. Walk
around the campus to familiarize your daughter with the playground and
the layout of the school. Comment, nonchalantly, on the beautiful
trees, or the nice playground equipment. Maybe the school has trim, or
a door painter in her favorite color. Point this out! If she is
really anxious, do this on several occasions; repeated visits with the
teacher may not be an option, but surely visits to the playground will
be!
I was going to suggest getting some workbooks and ?playing? school
with your daughter. However, a site posted below, suggests not going
overboard with this idea. Still, a little role playing may help her.
Have her put on some new school clothes first, and really get into the
act.
http://btobsearch.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?btob=Y&pwb=1&ean=9780395984918
If a new school involves a new neighborhood too, go on walks to meet
other kids in the neighborhood. Seeing faces she recognizes from the
neighborhood at school will allay some of her fears. Invite
neighborhood kids to your house to play.
Talk to her about her specific fears. What are they? Discuss each
fear. Don?t tell her she is silly for having her fears. Tell her you
understand each one. Ask her why each particular fear causes her
distress. Role play her fears. For example, if she is afraid the
teacher will call on her, ask her what she would do if the teacher
does call on her? Pretend you are the teacher and call on her! Make
sure she knows her first and last name, her address and phone number.
This is a good thing to know anyway, but it will make her shine if she
can tell the teacher this information.
Make sure your daughter knows that good manners and being friendly
to others are important in making friends. Classmates will want to be
friends with her if she is friendly and nice to others. Not that 6
year olds are, as a rule, a well mannered bunch, but tell her how far
a smile and friendly attitude can go!
If you ever changed schools as a young child, tell her about your
own experiences. Tell her you were anxious, but it all worked out
well.
Don?t discuss your daughter?s fears in front of her to others. Don?t
make a fuss over it. If she senses you are upset or fearful for her,
it will only increase her own anxiety. Tell her you are confident
things will go well, and you feel certain she will enjoy her new
school.
If the school has a mascot, such as a tiger, or a bear, perhaps you
could buy her a stuffed animal to match. This may help her feel more
connected to the school. If you drive by her new school with other
people, point out the school, saying ?There?s my daughter?s new
school!?. Make her feel proud to go to that school.
The following sites have lots of good ideas. Because of copyright
laws, I have posted only parts of each site:
===============================
Healthy Kids has these tips and more :
1. Let your child know what his schedule will be like. Tell him what
time school begins and ends each day.
2. Ask your child about her feelings -- both the excitement and the
concerns -- about starting school.
3. Visit the school with your child to see his new classroom and meet
his new teacher before school officially starts.
4. Point out the positive aspects of starting school. It will be fun
and she can make new friends.
5. Let your child know that all kids are nervous about the first day of school.
6. Leave a note in your child's lunchbox that will remind him you're
thinking of him while he's at school.
http://msnfamily.healthykids.com/hk/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/hk/story/data/1657.xml
eHow has many useful tips such as:
Plan a "back-to-school" shopping day with each child individually,
and make it a special event. Of course, you'll set (and try to stick
to) a general budget, but leave some room for one or two small
extravagances (reuse last year's backpack, but buy this year's hottest
cartoon-character notebook).
Before the big clothes-shopping trip, spend some time with each child
sorting through last year's things and decide together what goes into
which pile (keeper, hand-me-down or donate). Insist that your child
try on every keeper.
For a new year in a new school, plan a visit there a week or so
before the first day. Walk through the building locating the
classrooms, bathrooms and lunchroom.
http://www.ehow.com/how_4327_help-child-prepare.html
This site discusses kindergarten, but most applies to first grade as well.
· ?Focus on the positive. Talk openly about your child's feelings.
· Remind your child of the visit you took to kindergarten earlier in the year.
· Make your child feel more secure. Walk or drive the bus route your
child will take to school, especially in the days leading up to the
first day of school.
· Security also comes from knowing what to do in an emergency. Tell
your child what to do when hurt, scared or when help is needed finding
the bathroom.
· Establish a routine. For a week before school, practice getting up
at the new time and getting ready for school.
Help your child understand the concept of time
Young children often have trouble with the concept of time. Your child
may not know what "a few hours" means. Here are some ideas to help
your child learn about time spent in school:
· Draw a clock. Talk about what your child does at various times each
day and colour in the time spent on each activity.
· Draw another clock. Fill in the hours that will be spent in school.
· In another colour, show any time that will be spent in child care after school.
· Have your child colour in the days of the week at school on a calendar.
Kindergarten is easier when children have some basic skills. Your child should:
· know their name, address and phone number
· be able to put on their shoes and get their coats and boots on and off
· be able to use the bathroom and wash their hands
· know how to co-operate with other children through sharing and taking turns?
http://www.peel.edu.on.ca/parents/tips/trans-to-k.htm
This site discuss pre-school preparation, but you may get ideas here too.
?Make it a familiar place. When possible, drive by the school and say,
''Look. There's Erin's new school.'' Take a tour of the new school
together; call ahead to arrange a visit. If the school has a summer
camp in session, avoid touring the facility during chaotic times of
the day such as drop-off and pickup times.
? Introduce routines. Young children typically thrive on routines and
predictability. During the summer, it may be helpful to introduce
consistent bedtime and morning routines in anticipation of your
daughter's new fall schedule. For example, if she'll be attending a
program that starts at 8 a.m., but currently sleeps late, you can
gradually wake her a few minutes earlier than usual.
? Help with transitions. A typical day in preschool includes a number
of transitions. Children are asked to change activities throughout the
day: from indoor play to the playground, from snack time to story
time, and from saying goodbye to their parents to saying hello to
their friends. You can help your child by giving her advanced notice
before changing activities at home, when possible. For example, you
might say, ''After we clear the table, it will be time for your
bath.'' Or, ``After your nap, we'll go to the store.''
? Positive discipline starts at home. While your daughter's teachers
will have many opportunities to guide her behavior in the classroom,
you are your child's first and most influential teacher. Set realistic
and appropriate limits at home and encourage positive behaviors.
Consider enrolling in a positive discipline class or workshop. These
are offered in a variety of settings including churches, synagogues,
preschools and universities.?
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/local/states/florida/counties/miami-dade/cities_neighborhoods/west/6312425.htm?template=contentModules/printstory.jsp
?Establish routines to help prepare your child for kindergarten.
Routines put us all at ease. One way to get ready for kindergarten is
to get in the habit of following the schedule you will follow once
school starts. For example, practice waking up and getting dressed in
time for school, eating a good healthy breakfast together, and being
prepared to leave your home in time to arrive at school on time.
Prepare a study ?spot? for your child and supply it with crayons,
construction paper, scissors and other kindergarten ?tools?. Set aside
a time each day for your child to spend time there reading or drawing.
Once school starts this will become a time and place your child does
his/her homework.
Set a limit to the amount of TV your child watches. When possible,
watch TV with him/her and talk about what you?ve seen.?
http://www.hcde.org/schools/kindread/kindread.htm
?Dr. Keegan notes that although a move can be stressful, most children
adjust quite well in a very short period of time. "However," he
cautions, "don't overlook some of the warning signs that may indicate
a child is having difficulty adjusting. If a child has difficulty
sleeping, is irritable or has outbursts of anger, or avoids making new
friends, it may be useful to seek the advice of your pediatrician or
other professional."
Overall, the single most important factor that determines how well a
child copes with a move is the parents' attitude. If Mom and Dad
position the relocation as an exciting adventure--if they focus on the
opportunities for the entire family--children will be far more likely
to accept the situation in a positive manner.?
http://www.navl.com/HouseHold/Ed/Children.aspx
?· Talk to your child about school: you might be tempted to start
doing school activities like worksheets, or using CD-Rom learning
programmes, but don?t push it ? they have their whole school life to
learn. ?Have fun ? but don?t plan an exhausting week of adventures the
week before, either,? Leach says. Talk about starting school and get
books from the library. But don?t overdo it. You don?t want your child
to be scared, or over-excited.
· Prepare them for a new social life: alphabets and counting can
wait; it?s mates that matter in those first few weeks. ?Help the
bonding process by inviting a special friend over to play, before your
child starts school,? Leach suggests.
· Establish sleep patterns: get a sensible sleep routine going a week
or two before your child starts school.
· Personal care: as well as dressing and undressing, it?s important
your child knows how to use the toilet properly and get his or her
underwear on and off; bottom-wiping and hand-washing are also
important things for your child to know.
· Crossing legs: strange as it sounds, it might be useful to teach
your child how to do this. ?A teacher needs four-year-olds to cross
their legs as it?s the only way she can prevent their little legs
kicking out and hurting each other,? Leach explains.?
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancyandbaby/childcare/childops/articles/0,,169105_179950,00.html
?Let your child shop and pick out school clothes -- Be sure you let
him/her choose something that you have pre-approved. Also, check with
the school district prior to shopping if you are unsure of the dress
code. Have your child choose clothes the night before to be ready to
wear in the morning.
* Children need to dress themselves for school -- Practice tying,
zipping and buckling clothing if your children have not mastered that
skill.
* Encourage your children to know his address, telephone number and
last name -- The more your children know about themselves when they
go to school, the more independent and self-confident they will feel.
Independence and self-confidence are "key ingredients" for children to
learn.
Have all of your child's supplies -- The school experience will be
more successful and
children will feel better if they have all of their supplies.
* Don't linger -- Drop your child at his room, give him a hug and tell
him goodbye. Ninety-five percent of children do not experience
separation anxiety.
http://www.pasadenaisd.org/ParentUniversity/parent32.htm
Additional Information:
http://www.linkgrinder.com/information/Prepare_Your_Child_for_a_Successful_School_Year_6897_0_information.html
http://www.vsarts.org/x610.xml
http://collier.k12.fl.us/Student_services/PreparingforKindergarten.htm
http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/family/firstday/firstday.htm
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/bigkid/gpreschool/67236.html
I hope this helps you ease your daughter?s transsition. I wish you and
your first grader the best!
If this is not the information you were seeking, please ask for an
Answer Clarification, before rating. This will allow me to assist you
further, on this question.
Regards, Crabcakes
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Helping child adjust + new school
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