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Q: saying abour ignoring someone ( Answered,   5 Comments )
Subject: saying abour ignoring someone
Category: Relationships and Society
Asked by: sehyah-ga
List Price: $4.50
Posted: 13 Aug 2002 09:47 PDT
Expires: 12 Sep 2002 09:47 PDT
Question ID: 54078
Can you find a saying :"The highest form of hatered is to ignore
someone."Anything like this will do.
I remember hearing this somewhere, and I'd like ti verify the source.
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
Answered By: voila-ga on 13 Aug 2002 13:12 PDT
Hi Sehyah,

From your description, it sounds like you're quoting from American
existential psychoanalyst, Rollo May.  Sister Helen Prejean quotes him
here in her speech "Project Death in America."

"And Rollo May said, "The opposite of love isn't hate.  It's to ignore
someone, to throw them away, to forget about them, not to attend to

Rollo May's Biography:

Paul Tillich's Interview with Rollo May:

Additional quotes by Rollo May:

If I can be of further service to you, please don't hesitate to ask.


Clarification of Answer by voila-ga on 13 Aug 2002 13:17 PDT
p.s. on my search terms:

to ignore someone+hatred
Rollo May+quote

Clarification of Answer by voila-ga on 13 Aug 2002 13:34 PDT
journalist, I also found that reference to John here:

"Error demeans, destroys, and damns the souls of men. Why would anyone
want to toy around with it? Why try to be tolerant of it? Why cater to
it and seek to win its confidence and hope to change it? Paul said to
those at Galatia, "But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any
other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let
him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man
preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him
be accursed" (Gal. 1:8-9). To ignore error, to coddle it, or to get in
bed with it, is the highest form of hatred toward your fellow-man,
because love demands that we do what is right ourselves, and help
others to do right (cf. 1 Jn. 5:2; Jas. 5:19-20)."
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
From: journalist-ga on 13 Aug 2002 11:41 PDT
Greetings!  I have heard the phrase "Love your friend, ignore your
enemy" but could find only one (uncredited) link for that.  Also, I
found a reference to a biblical verse:

1 Jn 3:14-15 -- If we don't love (ignoring a brother) it is the
highest form of hate.

The verse was presented like that with the parentheses.

"highest form of hate"  [Google search]

What it means to be justified by faith

"love your friend ignore your enemy"  [Google search]

Love your friend, ignore your enemy (the site owner's motto)
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
From: journalist-ga on 13 Aug 2002 11:43 PDT
I looked up 1 John and that isn't the verse.  So strike that.
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
From: thx1138-ga on 13 Aug 2002 13:24 PDT
"The highest form of contempt, after all, is to ignore another"
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
From: lstein0-ga on 13 Aug 2002 15:00 PDT
My two cents:

The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. The main character in the novel is
Howard Roark, and architect. There is another character in the novel,
Ellsworth Toohey, he is a journalist/architecture reviewer.

Roark is asked what he thinks of Toohey. His response is something
along the lines of "Toohey? Why, I don't think of him at all."

When I read that, I realized what a powerful statement that was. When
I read your question, I immediately thought of this passage.

Hope that helps.
Subject: Re: saying abour ignoring someone
From: voila-ga on 15 Aug 2002 19:08 PDT
Through the eyes of Octavio  Paz:
"We dissimulate in order to deceive ourselves, and turn transparent
and phantasmal. But that is not the end of it: we also pretend that
our fellow-man does not exist. This is not to say that we deliberately
ignore or discount him. Our dissimulation here is a great deal more
radical: we change him from somebody into nobody, into nothingness.
And this nothingness takes on its own individuality, with a
recognizable face and figure, and suddenly becomes Nobody. Don No One,
who is Nobody's Spanish father, is able, well-fed, well-respected; he
has a bank account, and speaks in a loud, self-assured voice. Don No
One fills the world with his empty, garrulous presence. He is
everywhere, and has friends everywhere. He is a banker, an ambassador,
a businessman. He can be seen in all the salons, and is honored in
Jamaica and Stockholm and London. He either holds office or wields
influence, and his manner of not-being is aggressive and conceited. On
the other hand, Nobody is quiet, timid, and resigned. He is also
intelligent and sensitive. He always smiles. He always waits. When he
wants to say something, he meets a wall of silence; when he greets
someone, he meets a cold shoulder; when he pleads or weeps or cries
out, his gestures and cries are lost in the emptiness created by Don
No One's interminable chatter. Nobody is afraid to exist: he
vacillates, attempting now and then to become Somebody. Finally, in
the midst of his useless gestures, he disappears into the limbo from
which he emerged. It would be a mistake to believe that others
prevented him from existing. They simply dissimulate his existence and
behave as if he did not exist. They nullify him, cancel him out, turn
him to nothingness. It is futile for Nobody to talk, to publish books,
to paint pictures, to stand on his head. Nobody is the blankness in
our looks, the pauses in our conversations, the reserve in our
silences. He is the name we always and inevitably forget, the eternal
absentee, the guest we never invite, the emptiness we can never fill.
He is an omission, and yet he is forever present. He is our secret,
our crime, and our remorse. Thus the person who creates Nobody, by
denying Somebody's existence, is also changed into Nobody. And if we
are all Nobody, then none of us exists."

Source: "The Labyrinth of Solitude"

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