Well, since you are seeking an opinion I?ll be happy to give you one
based on what little I know about your situation and the first
impression your explanation has given me:
First, whether you realize it or not, you are very young. The whole
world is ahead of you and there?s no need to be as impatient as you
are about this relationship (especially where sex is concerned). Chill
out. If it happens it happens, and if it doesn?t, it probably wasn?t
meant to be. Enjoy the company, hold hands, see places, and talk about
the mundane things and the issues of the day. Millions of lonely
people only wish they could.
Secondly, you seem to be sabotaging your own relationship. There?s no
rush to get married for Pete?s sake. Have a close friend and enjoy
her. If it becomes love then love it shall eventually be. Until then,
you admittedly ?WANT to see her? and consider much of your time
together ?QUITE fun? (your words, not mine, are much more telling).
What more could you want from her? Sex? Well, here?s a wakeup call my
friend, you will probably have more than enough sex in your life to
satisfy the normal urges so there?s no urgency to make sex mandatory
in THIS particular woman only three weeks into a relationship.
Thirdly, perhaps this young lady would be a bit more attentive to her
beauty if she felt secure in the notion that you were not after her
solely because of it. Don?t get me wrong, I?m not suggesting you are
that superficial, but she may in fact be subconsciously protecting
herself from your intentional or subliminal advances so early into
this relationship by keeping some of her external beauty (looks,
hygiene, dress, etc) and internal beauty (heart, personality,
inhibition, etc) in check.
I wholeheartedly recommend that you continue on with the relationship
as long as you continue to enjoy it and continue to believe that SHE
enjoys and welcomes it. Give up this notion about love and sex for the
time being and show some old-fashioned, mature male discipline ? just
BE FRIENDS with her. That?s what she WANTS and, as it turns out, she
may even begin to love you for it. Life will always have its good
moments and bad moments. If it didn?t we?d all be walking around with
smiley faces like a bunch of lunatics, wouldn?t we?
The main thing is to be HONEST and OPEN, GENTLE and FAIR with her. Be
friends first because friends can often talk candidly where lovers
cannot. In the end, you may not walk away with a lover or a wife, but
you will maintain your dignity as a man. As I mentioned earlier you
are young, and issues like dignity and integrity will be foremost in
your mind 20-25 years from now when you look in the mirror and sort
the good from the bad.
You seem like an intelligent fellow who already KNOWS right from
wrong. Follow your conscience - I get the impression it is a smart
I wish you the best of luck in love and friendship.
I hope you find that my answer exceeds your expectations. If you have
any questions about my research please post a clarification request
prior to rating the answer. Otherwise, I welcome your rating and your
final comments and I look forward to working with you again in the
near future. Thank you for bringing your question to us.
Tutuzdad ? Google Answers Researcher