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Q: Meeting my girlfriends parents.. ( No Answer,   3 Comments )
Subject: Meeting my girlfriends parents..
Category: Relationships and Society > Relationships
Asked by: paulp0312-ga
List Price: $13.00
Posted: 10 Jul 2005 13:11 PDT
Expires: 16 Jul 2005 14:12 PDT
Question ID: 541878
What is the proper etiquette to be followed when meeting your
girlfriends parents for the first time ?  We have been together for 2 years.

Clarification of Question by paulp0312-ga on 10 Jul 2005 13:20 PDT
( I live in the UK and am looking for an answer relating to british etiquette only )
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: Meeting my girlfriends parents..
From: cynthia-ga on 10 Jul 2005 16:49 PDT
The answer would be in this guide to British Etiquette:

Debrett's Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners
...the third book down...
Subject: Re: Meeting my girlfriends parents..
From: frde-ga on 11 Jul 2005 05:16 PDT
The snag is that the parents have probably not read the same book of etiquette.

You can be darn sure that they are curious about you.

I'm inclined to suggest that you find some spurious reason for staying
at a guest house or hotel - sleeping on a sofa is not comfortable, and
sleepwalking up to a narrow bed is a bit ... tempting.

If possible, break up the herd.
Chatting with her mother in the kitchen is a good idea
- inventing a reason for a stroll with the father would be wise
- but avoid excessive alcohol - if he is a nasty old git he'll get you pis*ed

Chances are you'll really like one of them, if you are lucky it'll be both.
Subject: Re: Meeting my girlfriends parents..
From: myoarin-ga on 13 Jul 2005 07:23 PDT
HI, Freddy is right, about the sleeping and kitchen and walk.  Of
course, if they have a guest room, you can stay there, but then do :)

I wrote this a couple of days ago and then couldn't post it:

Ask their daughter.  Just try to be yourself; they are nervous too. 
(I have been on both sides  :)  )  If her father introduces himself
and his wife as  "John and Mary", you may call them by their first
names.  If he doesn't, don't, but don't feel that that is rejecting
you; dads can be reserved when meeting potential sons-in-law.  Moms
sometimes can be much less reserved; they like young men, especially
ones that they think are "right" for their daughter  - and the parents
will already have a preconception of you  (right or wrong, they (or
maybe just Mum) will have heard your girlfriend's opinion, which will
be positive, otherwise you wouldn't be meeting her parents).

Back to the start:
"Ask their daughter":  Are they expecting/fearing that you want "to
ask for her hand" at this meeting?
Let her clarify that before you meet them.  Makes things a lot more
relaxed if you and they know that this is NOT on the agenda.

But if it is (assuming that you two consider yourselves engaged), then
do it; tell her parents that you want to marry their daughter.  If
they are expecting that this is why you are there, avoiding the
subject looks funny, and having your girlfriend introduce it does too
(from one who knows  :)  ).  It's the man's role, maybe not to ask,
but to tell.  And then don't be too surprised if they respond with
some pretty stupid comments (been there, done that  :) )

But if that is not on the agenda for this meeting, just treat them
like any other people their age.  They aren't the Queen and Prince

Good luck, Myoarin

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