A friend of mine set me up on a blind date. We've had two really nice
dates, and we like each other. So far he's been the perfect gentleman,

Do I send a thank you card to the friend that set us up?

Do I send a thank you for dinner card to my date, for he has been very
generous and chivalrous thus far?

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Clarification of Question by jodygold-ga on 01 Aug 2005 09:58 PDT

I think you will appreciate what happened in this situation. I was
torn by all the different opinions, and while I agreed that a note was
too formal, I knew that he would appreciate my gesture. So I
compromised. I wrote in the note: "While 9 out of ten people on
Answers.Google.com said that a 'Thank You for a wonderful time so far'
was 'too formal', I knew that you would appreciate the gesture in good
humor. So for a chuckle, here it is! Smile and have a great day!"

I presented it to him with a preface about all of your Comments, and
he had a good laugh. He loved the note and my careful research about
it. I gave it to him on our third date. It was well-received in this
manner.

Jody

That seems very formal...it depends on your personality I guess. I
would be more inclined to call your date, and set up another one! As
for your friend, a phone call should suffice, or offer to take them
out for a coffee as a way of saying thanks,.

It really depends on YOU. Many from the south would consider a note of
thanks customary. Other cultures would expect more if your blind date
progressed into more than friendship.

Go with what you are comfortable with.

An older man's point of view:

I think it would be a nice gesture to thank the friend who introduced
you, though a card seems a little formal these days.

As to thanking your "perfect gentleman", I if were him, I would be
quite surprised  and wonder if there were some other motive behind the
words, perhaps a subconscious motive that you yourself did not
recognize.
What are you going to say?  If you just tell him how wonderful the
dates were and how please you were to meet him, the formality of a
note could make him think that is was meant as a final, farewell thank
you, despite the nicest words in the note.
If you tell him how much you are looking forward to seeing him again 
(heaven forbid, that you say that you "want to see more of him"), he
may wonder if he has been too much the perfect gentleman, too
chivalrous.

You get my point?   

I agree with Rochelleann that calling him would be a better idea,
suggesting that you meet to do something that you would like to do
that is not so much of a  "dating activity"  (dinner, movie, theater),
but rather going to an exhibition, sports event, whatever, preferably
something you are familiar with, so that you would be including him in
something you already are involved in.  If there are tickets for it,
try to get them ahead of time, so that you return a little of his
generousity without having to pay for them in his presence.

That approach would appeal to me.  :-)

Good luck,  Myoarin

Two dates? Too early. Unless your culture* suggests that written notes
are  appropriate following a couple of nice dates, I think it would
seem way too formal and somewhat distant to receive a thank you note
either as the date or the date setter upperer.

I absolutely agree that you should do what you feel most comfortable
with -- you know the situation better than anyone -- but surely a
phone call would be the more appropriate, friendly thing to do.

(*I'm assuming you're in the USA but there's a big wide world out
there reading and commenting on Google Answers so we shouldn't really
assume anything should we! Hello from Melbourne, Australia.)

HI,
  i think you owe your friend a thank you for setting you up and
everything just worked out fine.
  And I think I like the idea of a thank you dinner card to your date
since he has been very generous to you and since you guys have had two
nice dates, so there is no wrong in that.

I will answer this from a guy's perspective: it depends on whether or
not he's "into you," as we learned from "Sex and the City."  If he
finds you attractive, yes ~physically~ attractive, then send the note
or even better yet send him a single rose with a little thank you note
attached.  Holy cow, if he is into you, then a rose from a girl he has
the hots for is going to seal the deal.

If he's not that into you, do not send a note or anything else.  The
fact of the matter is, guys like to be pursued by girls they find
physically attractive.  Period.  If the physical chemistry is not
there, then you'd better wait it out and let him pursue you.  I know
that sounds shallow, but that's the way guys are wired.

How do you tell if he finds you physically atractive?  The fact that
he's been a perfect gentleman thus far may be helpful in determining
that answer.  At least for the first several dates, guys are motivated
by physical attraction.  Again, I know that sounds shallow but that's
just a fact and it amazes me that there isn't more open dialogue on
that.  There's all this talk about talking and honesty and
communication and sharing feelings.  Guys may say that they are into
all that to impress a girl they like, but at the end of the day it's
all about whether or not the chemistry is there.  That's how guys
select girls to date--by their looks.  If it's a blind date, if he's
not physically attracted and he's still going out, trust me, it's just
a matter of time before things go cold.

I got a single white carnation in a vase one time after a lunch date
from a girl I was not into and it turned me off big time.

Sorry to be so mercenary, but that's how guys think.

A note to the friend is fine, even polite.

The note to the date is ill advised in my opinion.  A gentleman would
not expect it.  You can tell him what a good time you had when he
calls you.

Just my 2 cents.

If I were him I'd appreciate the card....but a phone call would do.

Those of you who opine that the thank you note is appropriate are, I
think, misapprehending jodygold's motives.  This is far more than a
thank you--she is interested in the man and wants to move the
relationship along.  If I am wrong here jodygold please stop me.  If
her motive is merely to say thanks and she's not interested in
continuing to date this guy really and if he stops calling she doesn't
really care, then you are correct--a note or card is fine.  But if she
likes this guy and wants to continue to date him and get romantic with
him, she should do nothing UNLESS he's into her.

I hope, Jody, that you have already done whatever you chose to contact him.
From your terms to describe him and your question, I expect that you
are maybe past the "dating game" stage.  I would suggest that you
encourage him after two generous dates.
Look at it this way from the gentleman's point of view:  The first,
blind date, was a success.  He invited you out again, generously,
signifying his interest.
Maybe he is in a similar position to yours, and now wondering too.

After a week now  - if you haven't already done anything -  it is too
late for a thank you note, so find something that you can do together
and call him.  :-)
Myoarin

Jody,  :-)  many thanks for letting us know.  That was great idea!
Good luck! more :-)
Myoarin

Well its better to invite ur partner for another date instead of
sending a thank you note. Its like toooooo formal to send a thank you
note or a card for a nice dinner u had with ur partner. You obviously
express your feelings on this date.
So Good Luck...and njoy.....