I'm very interested in the origins of the internet, but rather than
ask about what happened (we all know Al Gore invented the internet)
I'd like to know what could have happened.  To answer this question,
you will need both knowledge and an imagination.  The answer, however,
must be realistic and factual (in regards to the patent portion.) 
First I'll give you the setup, then I'll ask the question.

Imagine for a moment a fictitious day in August 2005.  Imagine that
everything in this make believe world is identical to "Real America"
with one blaring exception: The Internet!  In Alterica (that's what
we'll call this land of pure imagination) when we surf the web, we
don't go to Google.com, we go to 169.141.1.1, and instead of going to
sony.com we go to 666.66.6.  You see in Alterica, they don't use
domain names, they simply use the IP address.  This is where you come
in.  You're a strapping young man named Al Gore.  You're trying to
pull up the democratic national convention website but for the life of
you, you can't remember the ip address.  You think to yourself, "If
only I could just put in dnc.gov instead of a numeric ip address. 
That would be a much easier way of pulling it up."  And then it
strikes you.  That's a great idea!  How useful it would be!

So here is the question.  You are Al Gore with a great idea.  You want
to patent your idea.  Okay, so what kind of patent would it be?  What
are the first steps you would take?  You call a patent lawyer but he
didn't seem to know what he was talking about.  First of all he
charged an exorbitant amount of money, which you don't have.  Upon
checking your wallet you find that you only have $400 to your name. 
Secondly, he said you needed to create a physical model of your
invention.  What???  How are you supposed to create a physical model
of unique concept.  What, like a hologram that shows all these
websites floating around with domain names instead of IP addresses? 
Forget it.  That guy is a nut.

So what are you going to do?  Walk me through, in parable format, how
you are going to turn your million dollar idea, your $400, and your
awe inspiring hairdo into a protective patent?  What are you going to
do next?  You don't control the internet.  How and to whom are you
going to market your idea?

Ooooh, I can't wait to see how this story turns out.  I just got goosebumps.

**Can I get a reciept for this?**