I am a south african male and married a brithish women in south
africa, we both live in the uk and now want to divorce as she has met
a new guy, do I have to apply to the south african court or the
british courts.

where did you married?

we married in durban south africa

13. Recognition of certain foreign divorce orders

The validity of a divorce order or an order for the annulment of a
marriage or for judicial separation granted in a court of a foreign
country or territory shall be recognized by a court in the Republic
if, on the date on which the order was granted, either party to the
marriage-

a) was domiciled in the country or territory concerned, whether
according to South African law or according to the law of that country
or territory;
b) was ordinarily resident in that country or territory; or
c) was a national of that country or territory.

from http://www.acts.co.za/divorce/

I hope could help you

you may divorce in the uk ... there is no need to come to south africa
for a divorce. Your current domicilium determines the place where you
must apply for divorce ... that is the uk courts... the south african
courts have no jurisdiction over you while you reside in the uk. the
law that governs your marriage contract is south african law and the
uk courts must give effect to it.     good luck mark (practising
attorney in South Africa)