I'm looking for a pocket pc type thing.  Must have wifi, preferably
windows OS, built in keyboard.  A Usb port would be nice, too.  No
Smartphones please.  Does anyone have any ideas?  I though the idea of
a clamshell would be great, but all i can find is the sony Clie, and
it seems like that is no longer available.  I want to be able to
access the web, check my email and do some light word processing.

Sounds like you are looking for a $800 pocketPC, in which case you are
better off buying a laptop, especially given the screen size and power
limitations of a pocketPC.

Hmm...this may be true, but a laptop anywhere nearly as portable would
be bit more expensive than $800.  I would see your point if  a big ol'
$900 Dell were what I was looking for.  Take the Toshiba Libretto, for
example.  Sure it's portable as heck, but it's also about $2000. 
Thanks for the advice though.  I appreciate it very much.

I have the hx2750. It's great. It has wifi, bluetooth, a 624 mhz
processor, a fingerprint scanner, and many other features. It is made
by hp. The best price right now is $595 at
http://www.cendirect.com/main_en/tech_specs.asp?rPart_no=JO37034D. You
don't pay GST. It is amazing. I recommend it.