Could someone please look at my essay regarding youth culture and
consumerism, and proofread it, give me some tips, advice, etc. to
generally improve it? Please note that this is an essay for a Grade 12
English course in Ontario, Canada (just so you know the general level
of expected quality).

Here is my essay:

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    The relationship between youth culture and consumerism is rapidly
growing stronger everyday. In today?s world, many youth cannot
distinguish between ?wants? and ?needs?, and our capitalist economy
often leads them to the fetishism of goods and services. Youth in our
society often have the tendency to identify strongly with the products
and services that they consume, and while they have more buying power
now than ever before, they are also more gullible and confused. In
addition, they are preyed upon by the media due to the desire to
become socially accepted. In today's world, youth are a primary
concern in our materialistic culture.

    Youth have more buying power now than ever before. Baby boomers
are beginning to retire, and now, as parents, they have sufficient
money to be able to give a significant amount of it to their
offspring. This is because they have established a sufficient flow of
money to be able to support their descendants and themselves, since
most baby boomers have a stable career. Many youth spend the majority
of their disposable income, and as a result, they also have the most
buying power of all the age groups. Another important thing to note is
that the concept of allowances is a fairly recent one. It offers a
constant flow of money to children and adolescents alike, and as a
by-product, it assures youth that they will have a guaranteed payday
on set days. This causes teens to spend more money since an allowance
is expected once every few days. If a teen did not have an allowance,
then he or she would rather save their money for more important items,
due to the fact that they would be unsure when they would get more
money.
     Secondly, tuition fees for universities have skyrocketed during
the last few years. This results in teens getting jobs to afford their
university fees, and as a side effect, they also have more disposable
income. High university fees also tend to encourage students to borrow
money from several different sources, such as banks and the
government. When students get in the habit of lending, borrowing
money, and even purchasing items on credit, they end up buying more
products.
     Third of all, teens are more competitive now because of ever
increasing pressure, more competition from other students, and
repentance for the carefree mannerisms of previous generations.
Therefore, many teens attempt to strive for the best of everything.
They want the highest marks, the best clothing, and the latest gadgets
or toys, which fuels their spending habits even further, and increases
their awareness of the latest trends.

     In today's world, youth are more gullible and confused. They
demand an identity for themselves, but they also wish to be lead. The
media therefore takes advantage of this, and exploits this in every
way. For example, the media introduces a new fashion style or look,
and then it soon becomes the "next big thing". When the product is
common enough, it loses its attractive qualities, and youth soon yearn
for something new.
     Teens wish to rebel and create an image for themselves. They do
not like it if they feel they are being lead to a new fashion style by
the media and power-hungry corporations. Therefore, the media invents
new styles in many different ways, such as viral marketing, without
ever associating the product with themselves. Then they
"coincidentally" sell products that strengthen the fashion appeal of
youth.
     The media is creating fake images of how people will look with
their products. Many people do not believe that they themselves are
fooled and captivated by these attempts; but in fact, the truth is
that individuals who are swayed by marketing do not wish to admit it.
People often fantasize about themselves as being the person in the
advertisements, the banners, and the billboards that they see.
 
     Finally, teens are preyed upon by the media due to the desire to
become socially accepted.  History gives us many examples to analyze,
to prove that the desire for social acceptance is a powerful motivator
that shapes and directs human behaviour true. In the past (1900s -
1930s), people only purchased items out of necessity, primarily due to
the Great Depression, since many families were lacking the funds to
simply support themselves and purchase necessities.  In the years
between 1950 and 1980, people were free-flowing, and purchased
t-shirts tie-dyed for a personal and unique image. Personal
competition and product consumption was atypical. During these days,
young people did what they felt, and felt strongly about whatever they
did. They did not give criticism to peers about what they should wear
and buy. During the decade of 1970, the Vietnam War and then free
culture played a prominent role in the progression of consumerism.
People, and especially youth, often shared their belongings, simply
because they felt like it.
     Finally, in the 1980s and beyond, youth have lost their identity,
because there is no defining moment for the generation like previous
generations have had. Some examples include the 1940s with WWII and
the liberation of Europe, the 1970s with the Vietnam War and free
culture, and yet the 1990s - 2000s does not have anything remotely
similar. As you can see, there have been many transitions throughout
history regarding youth and consumer culture.

    In conclusion, young people and our consumer culture is an
increasingly big problem.  These examples clearly state that youth,
and even our society as a whole, are losing the battle against
consumerism. It is not only costing us our money, but it is also
taking away from our freedom ? our freedom to choose and decide what
we want, and who we want to be. These decisions should not be made by
the ones who benefit the most from our purchases, but instead, should
be made by ourselves.  Advertisements, fashion trends, even peers
cannot always tell us how we should dress, what we should buy, and who
we are. That is something that we must discover for only ourselves.

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