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Q: Men and nude bars. ( No Answer,   5 Comments )
Subject: Men and nude bars.
Category: Relationships and Society > Relationships
Asked by: dianeb-ga
List Price: $5.00
Posted: 28 Oct 2005 13:50 PDT
Expires: 27 Nov 2005 12:50 PST
Question ID: 586164
Do you think men going to topless bars can cause problems in a relationship?
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: Men and nude bars.
From: pafalafa-ga on 28 Oct 2005 13:57 PDT
Only if his boyfriend finds out.
Subject: Re: Men and nude bars.
From: pinkfreud-ga on 28 Oct 2005 13:57 PDT
Almost anything can cause a problem in a relationship if one partner
wants to do it and the other finds it objectionable. Some women feel
very uneasy when they learn that their men have been visiting erotic
entertainment establishments, particularly if lapdancing is involved.
Subject: Re: Men and nude bars.
From: badger75-ga on 28 Oct 2005 17:55 PDT
Couples most commonly fight over money, sex and children. Strip clubs
and nude bars are a good way to hit the trifecta. They make their $$
on liquor. The girls get friendlier as the patrons get more drunk.
They also usually want a credit card as a guarantee of payment for
exhorbitant charges. So having had too much to drink at a sex
establishment using a charge card is a really good way to arouse
completely different emotions once the spouse finds the charges. Or
napkins. Or an std....
Subject: Re: Men and nude bars.
From: byrd-ga on 28 Oct 2005 18:28 PDT
Dr. Willard Harley, a renowned marriage counselor with an astounding
rate of success in his own practice and through his website and books,
says of married couples that, "... your focus of sexuality should be
on each other and there should not be any competition." He's talking
about pornography, but topless clubs and strip joints are actually a
form of live pornography, and are competing for sexual focus with a
man's partner or spouse. They are, therefore, competition and as such
yes, they can and do cause problems in relationships and in marriage.
If you'd like to read more about Dr. Harley's take on it, here's a
transcript of an interview with him: And here's an article
on the subject on his website:
Subject: Re: Men and nude bars.
From: respree-ga on 28 Oct 2005 21:32 PDT
This is more of opinion than research, but I think the answer to your
question is Yes.  I 'can' cause problems.  But I think it can also
'not' cause problems.

It depends on the man and the woman, I think.

In my view, it boils down to one of four scenarios.

1.  Perfectly trustworthy man.  Sits there, enjoys the view, drinks
his drink and behaves himself.  Politely fends off advances that may
or may not come his way.  Harmless entertainment.  Problem.  The woman
imagines all the things he 'could' have been doing, but didn't, and is
unjustified in her imaginary accusations.

2.  Untrustworthy man.  Behaves in an untrustworthy manner.  Problems
with control. Lies about his activities.  Problem.  Woman finds out --
somehow, or man messes up, leaving evidence of his untrustworthy

3.  Untrustworthy man-untrusting woman.  No need for further
explanation.  Explosion waiting to happen.

4.  Trustworthy man-trusting woman.  Both understand, respect and
trust each other completely.  Woman respects man's desire for 'visual'
entertainment.  Man does not jeopardize the trust that has been placed
in him.  I think this is the only scenario where your answer would be,

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