This is a question about Apache 2.0. 

I'm seeing TONS of requests in my /server-status for what appears to
be proxy requests however I do not have any of the proxy mods turned
on. I have verified that my server is not acting as a proxy but for
some reason these requests persist.

A normal requests looks like the following:
10.1.1.1 - - [05/Nov/2005:07:32:13 -0800] "GET /contactus.php" <extra data removed>

A proxy request looks like the following:
10.1.1.1 - - [05/Nov/2005:07:32:43 -0800] "GET
http://www.lamersdomain.com" <extra data removed>

Now, a few of these wouldn't be a problem. A user trying to proxy to a
non-proxy-configured Apache web server just gets that servers page for
whatever domain is configured on that IP address. The problem is, at
times, there are SOOOO many requests that apache slows to a crawl,
sometimes to the point where I can't even HUP it. I have done some
investigation into the cause of these and I've come up with a theory
that users are purchasing IP address lists they think are open proxies
but they aren't. I theorize the reason is to knock their competition
out of Adwords or possibly to artificially inflate their adsense click
throughs. I have more info but it's not really relevant to my problem
so we'll move on.

Right now I'm using a bash script that parses the /server-status page
and picks out all the IP addresses that are making GET http: requests
and adds those IP's to the DENY list in IPTABLES. The problem with
that is some huge AOL proxy IP's get blocked and some users complain
that they can't get to their site from AOL.

These have been a thorn in my side for a few weeks now and I'd like to
return the favor. I'd like to redirect ALL proxy requests (IE: "GET
http://www.lamersdomain.com") to http://127.0.0.1. Just the proxy
requests, not the normal requests. Is this possible?