Hi.  We are going on a cruise for 8 nights and 9 days and really
struggled to afford it.  We are going ultra economy staying on deck 4
with a no thrills room.  Everything is included ion the cruise except
liquor, wine and beer.  I asked the cruise line if its ok if we bring
our own on board (because at $8 a drink we cannot afford it) and they
said if we try to bring it aboard it will be confiscated as they
search the bags and then given back to us when arriving back at port. 
My question is what is the best way to sneak 4 or 5 bottles of wine
aboard?

Some cruise lines will allow you to bring wine on board for you to
enjoy with dinner, but will charge you an uncorking fee.  You may want
to inquire about that with the cruise line, or ask your waiter at
dinner.  I think they will still take the wine from you when you board
but it will be available for you when you get to dinner.

While on board keep your eyes open for deals ? most cruises will offer
wine tasting classes at pretty affordable rate ($5-$10).  They will
also offer happy hour deals where certain drinks will be on special. 
You can also purchase full bottles of wine at dinner and anything that
is left over will be stored for you to enjoy with your next meal ?
much cheaper then buying by the glass.

I?ve never tried to smuggle wine on board but have been successful
with hard liquor ? it would probably work with wine as well.

When on a shore excursion stop at a liquor store and purchase hard
liquor - vodka, Rum wine, ect.   The liquor store will place these
items in easily identifiable (to the cruise line) bag or box, they may
even ask if you would like to have the items delivered directly to the
ship.  If employees see you carry on a bag/box from a liquor store
they will take the items from you and return them after the cruise. 
However, If you put the items in a backpack or other closed bag they
will run your pack through the x-ray machine and most likely let you
in without second thought ? they are really only looking for weapons
at that point.

If you do not think that will work you can always buy a large bottle
of water or bring with a small opaque water bottle from home and pour
the liquor into these containers to carry onboard.  I have been on a
couple of cruises and had never had any problem using either of these
methods (my last cruise was summer of 2004).  Once on board with your
booze order up some room service and have them bring up a craft or two
of Orange Juice/lemonade or other breakfast drink (those are usually
free), you will most likely have to pay for soda.  You can also bring
in the mixers from land if you desire.

Not the classiest way to have a drink, but it gets the job done.  I
wish you all the best, and hope you enjoy the cruise!!!

Thank You for your input as it is well received.  And most of all
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

I have a friend who gets hash into the U.S.A. by taping it to his
testicles.  Have you considered trying this?  It may depend on how
baggy your pants are and I suppose how big your testicles are.

Give it a try

Why thank you but I am not interested in traficking narcotics.  May
God be with your friend.  Happy Holidays