Google Answers Logo
View Question
Q: Defamation of character from the ex's wife ( No Answer,   7 Comments )
Subject: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
Category: Family and Home > Families
Asked by: washis-ga
List Price: $2.00
Posted: 29 Nov 2005 12:03 PST
Expires: 29 Dec 2005 12:03 PST
Question ID: 599083
My question is this. The woman my ex-husband is married to now is the
one I am looking to sue. She first had an affair with my husband and
then he left me for her. Since then she has done nothing but put me
down and talk really bad about me to my children when they go to visit
every other weekend to the point that they don't want to go over there
anymore, because she is always saying something negative about me. She
has talked my ex into buying my 16 yr old a car so that she would move
in with them so that way she could have child support reduced and not
have to pay me as much each month. In the meantime I have a home that
I am about to loose because child support was reduce so much. (from
$1232 a month to $403.00 a month). So as you can see that in itself
was almost like losing a job. She later called me to run her mouth
about me losing in court over the child support and I told her on the
phone that if she didn't leave me alone she was going to cause me to
snap and I was going to end up killing her. Just a comment made out of
anger and being pushed to the edge. So she went to the court house and
has now taken out a restraining order on me.. so I can't go anywhere
near where my daughter lives. I've never done anything to her for her
to be afraid of me, she is just trying to make me look bad in front of
everyone. Is there anyway I can do this and make her stop harrassing
me? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: tutuzdad-ga on 29 Nov 2005 12:22 PST
Let's review: 

The fact that this woman had an affair with your husband and he left
you has no bearing on this situation. The fact that your ex-husband
successfully baited your 16 year old away from your home with the
promise of a new car is also irrelevant.

The bottom line here, if I'm reading you correctly, is that you have a
restraining order against you for threatening to kill your
ex-husband's new wife because she was harassing you. Now you'd like to
get revenge on her for (a) your perception that she somehow beat you
out of $800 a month in child support when, in reality, it was your
ex-husband who actually did that to you, and (b) that she beat you to
the punch and utilized the legal system intelligently to protect
herself from a credible threat against her life.

So your question is: "What can I do to make her stop harrassing me?"

Two things come to mind: 
1) stay away from her
2) stop threatening to kill people.

Since you've also admitted to making this death threat in a public
forum that is published all over the world for all the world to see,
it might not be a bad idea to also cross your fingers and hope nothing
bad happens to her anytime soon lest you find yourself on the top of
the suspect list. Know what I mean?

Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: washis-ga on 29 Nov 2005 12:35 PST
O.K. you really missed the whole point here. Good thing you aren't my
lawyer. I didn't threaten her or make a death threat.. I just made a
comment to the fact that if she didn't stop harrassing me.. she was
going to cause me to do something I really don't want to do.  People
say that all the time. What planet do you live on??????
Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: pinkfreud-ga on 29 Nov 2005 12:47 PST
In your original post, you say this:

"I told her on the phone that if she didn't leave me alone she was
going to cause me to snap and I was going to end up killing her."

Frankly, that sounds like a death threat. I think most people would be
unnerved by a statement like that, particularly if they knew that the
speaker was nursing a grudge. Filing a restraining order against
someone who has made such a remark seems quite understandable, given
the circumstances.
Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: tutuzdad-ga on 29 Nov 2005 12:55 PST
On the planet I live on I've been in law enforcement for more than 20
years. I happen to know a bit about the subject.

Good luck;
Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: markvmd-ga on 29 Nov 2005 20:13 PST
Washis, attacking Tutuzdad for making a spot-on call is unfair. I
realize how incredibly frustrating your situation is but you have to
come to realize that your ex's wife (we'll call her the Monster) is
pushing your buttons... and you've let her.

Your kids know you are a good mother because they know you better than
almost anyone else. If the Monster is being derogatory and your ex is
allowing it, he's a-- well, let's call him the Vagina. He's a cheater
who left his wife and kids for a cookie. A Cookie Monster. Uh oh, I'm
gonna hear from the Henson folks.

But to allow the Monster to push you to issue a threat is big time
bad. You must hold yourself out to be better than she is, which should
be easy; she is, after all, a Monster and is married to a Vagina.
Never again make the mistake of saying something that you wouldn't
want repeated in court. Your children who love you and who recognize
the Monster for what she is-- a home wrecker-- will admire you all the

I don't have a solution for the rest of your problem(s). $800 per
month is $5 an hour-- can you get a raise? Is your house equipped to
take in boarders? Can you sell and downsize? Doesn't anyone get
alimony anymore? Can you?

I know you regret the rash things you said to the Monster (though you
meant them-- be honest!) as well as to Tutuzdad. Always remember that
you are better than that. You can always vent here for a mere 50
cents, and Rants and Raves is free!
Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: washis-ga on 30 Nov 2005 14:05 PST
Thank you all for your comments. They are greatly appreciated. We did
go to court today and the Judge pratically laughed her out of the
court room. He did not issued the restraining order and told her next
time to be sure to have her facts together if she was to ever come
into his courtroom again. She lied like crazy as usual.  On the other
hand... I'm still trying to find out if I have any grounds to file a
defamation of character suit against her for the things she has put me
through. As for downsizing and moving into a smaller place, I have my
home up for sale...2 mths. now and it hasn't sold. The payments are
getting harder and harder to make. So what's a girl to do....
sometimes you just have no options. If I lose my home because she
talked my daughter into living with them... then that's not fair to
me. I bought this home with the understanding that I would be
receiving child support until they graduated college. I tried to
finance the home according to those standards and now I'm being cut
short by about 6 yrs. is that fair to me?  Any suggestions???
Subject: Re: Defamation of character from the ex's wife
From: tutuzdad-ga on 01 Dec 2005 06:24 PST
You can probably find renters faster than you can find buyers. Simply
move into a house or apartment that you can afford and lease your home
for the equivilent of the monthly mortgage payment. Let renters pay
for your house until you can afford to move back into it. When things
get better for you move back in.


Important Disclaimer: Answers and comments provided on Google Answers are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Google does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. Please read carefully the Google Answers Terms of Service.

If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by emailing us at with the question ID listed above. Thank you.
Search Google Answers for
Google Answers  

Google Home - Answers FAQ - Terms of Service - Privacy Policy