'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth." 

(from someone at the Univ. of South Dakota website)  :-)

Oh, the question:  How does PC take some joy out of your life?

If you're in the market for timely PC jokes, you may like this seasonal greeting:

Please accept without obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically
correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter/summer solstice holiday (dependant on geographical location),
practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all, and a financially successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that: -

* This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal;

* This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration
shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights
of the wishor are acknowledged.

* This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement
any of the wishes.

* This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or
the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in
certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wishor.

* This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected
within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year
or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first.

* The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wishor.

* Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas",
"Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive
figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply
any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all
proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are
hereby acknowledged

*Use of American  spellings in this greeting/terms should not be taken
to imply the superiority of such spellings; and recipients may feel
free to substitute spellings, including mis-spellings, of their
choice.

Language is a powerful tool. It is interesting to note that the
documents that created the US and established the Laws do not once
mention Christ. The framers of these documents knew exactly what they
were saying and why.

If people are so het up about not wanting to offend, why insist that
the greeting of this time of year be "Merry Christmas"? These same
people would sooner pull their own tongues out than change to "Kwazy
Kwanzaa!" I also do not see anyone defending the platitudes proffered
by the minimum wage drones that man the tills the rest of the year;
the endless repetition of "hi, how are you" and "have a nice day,"
spouted without meaning or feeling 11 months of the year suddenly take
on great import in December when changed to "Merry Christmas"?
Puh-leez.

The overuse of a word or phrase can lead to it being rendered
ineffective. By saving Christ for His rightful place, you are doing
religion a favor. I doubt He has much need for Target (I've never been
in Wal-Mart and never will patronize a store that so viciously attacks
the fibers that make up the fabric of our society to squeeze a few
pennies of profit) and I certainly can manage to select canned goods
and pasta without His help, though I do occasionally ask for Divine
inspiration with pomegranates. It works about 85% of the time, but
that could be my greengrocer's expertise as well.

Hey, how many of you know what the appropriate greeting for the muslim
holiday around now is?

Incidentally, I would expect truly righteous folks to be a bit
embarrassed at efforts to persuade Wal-Mart and Target to set a
religious example while their church sponsors bingo. Our early
settlers, the Pilgrims, had the right idea. Look up how THEY
celebrated Christmas!

Thanks, Geof and Mark.
I really just want to send Christmas greetings to the community, but
you both added appropriate comments to the question.
More welcome, otherwise, PC greetings to all, Myoarin