Category: Relationships and Society
Asked by: myoarin-ga
List Price: $2.00
20 Dec 2005 15:39 PST
Expires: 19 Jan 2006 15:39 PST
Question ID: 608199
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth." (from someone at the Univ. of South Dakota website) :-) Oh, the question: How does PC take some joy out of your life?
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Re: Political Correctness
From: geof-ga on 20 Dec 2005 15:55 PST
If you're in the market for timely PC jokes, you may like this seasonal greeting: Please accept without obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday (dependant on geographical location), practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual orientation of the wishee. By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that: - * This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal; * This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged. * This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes. * This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor. * This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. * The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor. * Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Savior", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged *Use of American spellings in this greeting/terms should not be taken to imply the superiority of such spellings; and recipients may feel free to substitute spellings, including mis-spellings, of their choice.
Re: Political Correctness
From: markvmd-ga on 20 Dec 2005 17:40 PST
Language is a powerful tool. It is interesting to note that the documents that created the US and established the Laws do not once mention Christ. The framers of these documents knew exactly what they were saying and why. If people are so het up about not wanting to offend, why insist that the greeting of this time of year be "Merry Christmas"? These same people would sooner pull their own tongues out than change to "Kwazy Kwanzaa!" I also do not see anyone defending the platitudes proffered by the minimum wage drones that man the tills the rest of the year; the endless repetition of "hi, how are you" and "have a nice day," spouted without meaning or feeling 11 months of the year suddenly take on great import in December when changed to "Merry Christmas"? Puh-leez. The overuse of a word or phrase can lead to it being rendered ineffective. By saving Christ for His rightful place, you are doing religion a favor. I doubt He has much need for Target (I've never been in Wal-Mart and never will patronize a store that so viciously attacks the fibers that make up the fabric of our society to squeeze a few pennies of profit) and I certainly can manage to select canned goods and pasta without His help, though I do occasionally ask for Divine inspiration with pomegranates. It works about 85% of the time, but that could be my greengrocer's expertise as well. Hey, how many of you know what the appropriate greeting for the muslim holiday around now is? Incidentally, I would expect truly righteous folks to be a bit embarrassed at efforts to persuade Wal-Mart and Target to set a religious example while their church sponsors bingo. Our early settlers, the Pilgrims, had the right idea. Look up how THEY celebrated Christmas!
Re: Political Correctness
From: myoarin-ga on 21 Dec 2005 03:56 PST
Thanks, Geof and Mark. I really just want to send Christmas greetings to the community, but you both added appropriate comments to the question. More welcome, otherwise, PC greetings to all, Myoarin
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