Whence cometh the expression "don't go there," and why is it always a
negative? Why don't we say "sure, let's go there"?

I think I may need to get out more.

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Clarification of Question by nautico-ga on 30 Dec 2005 07:52 PST

Good answer, Pink! Make it so!

Nautico, 

Thanks for accepting my observations as your official answer! As I
mentioned in a comment below, "don't go there" seems to have
originated in the urban gay community. It spread through pop media,
and (in my perception, at least) it is now so overused that it is a
cliché that has long since become stale.

You may find this interesting:

"Don't go there.  This expression has any number of offshoots, among
them 'don't even go there,' 'you don't even want to think of going
there' and 'I'm not going there.' Comedians use it as a laugh line to
suggest a path they won't be taking, since it would lead to a
particularly profane, scatological or sexual area of thought. Whoopi
Goldberg popularized it by using it during her stint as host of the
Academy Awards.

It is now in the backlash stage. Spy magazine offered 'don't go there'
as Number 93 on its list of the worst people, places and things of
1996 ('It became the country's most nauseating catchphrase'). The
latest issue of Men's Health magazine lists 'don't even go there'
among things it is tired of, along with 'teen-agers who can't get
their pants to stay up' and 'bad fitness  advice on infomercials'."

From a post in the alt.usage.english newsgroup
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usage.english/msg/32a48378aef5bf5e?dmode=print&hl=en

Best,
Pink

I can think of only one other expression that I found as annoying, and
it was botn in the early 70s: "not to worry." I had a friend who
enjoyed inserting it as often as possible: "Good morning, Joan." "Not
to worry, Bob."

In the mid-to-late '70s, I spent quite a bit of time hanging around
with a gay male friend in Chicago. "Don't go there" was in common use
among gay yuppies then. Sometimes it was extended into "You don't
wanna go there, girlfriend." I don't recall encountering the phrase in
the mainstream until the '90s, when a Saturday Night Live skit gave it
wide exposure. Later it showed up in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who
Shagged Me." By this time I suspect that the hip gay guys in Chicago
wouldn't have been caught dead saying such a thing.

I think Pink has it right, the sources I locate quickly are all Gay
slang dictionaries.

Many thanks for the five stars and the nice tip!

~Pink

My nominee for the annoyance prize is "no problem" or "not a problem,"
especially in response to "thank you."  It does not amount to "you're
welcome."  Double the annoyance quotient when it comes from a store
clerk or cashier who, instead of thanking me for my business (as
sellers always used to do when completing a transaction), waits for
*me* to say thank you and then responds "no problem."  Was I worrying
that it might have inconvenienced them to take my money, and did they
think I might be awaiting assurance to the contrary?  This answer
presumes so, and that makes it offensive.

If I hear "you're welcome" from a young person one time in a hundred,
it's a lot.  When I do, I actually stop and thank them for not saying
"no problem."

Archae0pteryx

Concur with the nomination of "no problem." Another response to "thank
you" that I find an annoyance, though a minor one, is "thank YOU."
Twenty years ago or more a comedian by the name of Kelly Monteith did
a whole bit on that exchange. Hard to envision that being funny, but
it was. The practice of echoing thank yous in lieu of a "you're
welcome" is apparently meant to assure the recipient of a service that
he or she contributed something. Balderdash. I never respond with
anything but "you're welcome."

While we're on a rip here, Nautico, here are two more entries in the
same class of annoyances.

I am irritated by the widespread change from "May I help you?" to "How
may I help you?" as a greeting to a prospective customer or telephone
caller (especially the latter).  It may have been well intentioned,
but it seems to me to express a desire to rush the transaction by
getting straight to the point.  Instead of an offer, it feels like a
demand.  "May I help you?" does expect a yes or no response, but it
then leads to an explanation of the request or problem.  "How may I
help you?" presumes that I have diagnosed my own case and does not
invite a statement of the problem but calls for an already formulated
solution.

But that one is relatively minor and probably does not trip those who
disregard the literal content of the expression.  The following is
worse by orders of magnitude and grates on me so badly that I try to
avoid shopping where this flagrant hypocrisy is practiced:

"May I help the next guest?"  "Guest assistance in Cosmetics."  "Next
guest in line, please."

When I am shopping in a store of any sort, I am not a "guest."  I am a
customer.  To pretend that ours is a personal social relationship
cheapens the notion of "guest," and to suggest that the word
"customer" isn't quite nice enough to use compromises the dignity of
my role as the prospective or actual buyer of what the store has to
sell.  I prefer an honest expression of the nature of our association.
 A department store is not Disneyland or the Hyatt Regency.  As a
matter of fact, I am a paying customer when I'm there, too.  They
insult us by asking us to join in a pretense to the contrary.  Every
time a cashier says, "May I help the next guest?" I truly think about
saying, "Forget it.  I'm taking my business elsewhere, to someplace
where they know a customer when they see one."

Archae0pteryx
(taking her pet peeves for their first outing of the year)

In line with Tryx's objection to being called a "guest" when one is
actually a customer, I'd like to grouse about my local post office's
tendency to refer to me as a "client." Yikes, I just came in to buy
some stamps. "Client" makes it sound as if I am consulting you for
legal advice.

Amen to the last two comments! Now here's another one that REALLY bugs
me. I've just called customer service at, say, my bank with a very
specific account issue, and the rep turns out to be an incompetent who
isn't sufficiently knowledgeable to respond on point. When it becomes
apparent that he or she hasn't a clue, the rep closes with "Is there
anything else I can do for you today, Mr. ______?" Arrghhhh. I feel
like saying, "Yes, ask your supervisor to re-train you."

If an incompetent person were to say "Is there anything else I can do
for you today..." to me, I would be quite tempted to say "You've done
quite enough to me already."

Which reminds me of something. The phrase "customer service" has a
special sort of resonance for me. My grandfather used to operate a
small farm where he raised a few cattle. When speaking of cows and
bulls, the verb "to service" has a certain meaning. Some of the
"customer service" experiences that I've had seemed very much like the
servicing that I witnessed on the farm. :-D

Pink, I like that! I just got off the phone with a credit card
company. When I pressed "0" in the midst of the automated attendant
folderol in a desperate move to talk to a human, I heard "please hold
for a relationship representative." (mutter, mutter)

To me, "relationship representative" sounds like a euphemism for one
of those gals who lurks under streetlights saying "Hello, sailor."

Hmm, I'd have thought that a relationship representative would be a
pander  - or maybe a matchmaker in a better context.  But you are all
correct  (you're all right, too :), at least I have to assume you are
correct, being a bit removed from the US scene.  The expression that
used to bother me was breakfast waitresses' "enjoy!" in the commanding
tone of a hospital ward nurse.  Now it has become a family joke: 
either used, or when travelling, waiting to see if we will get the
order to go with our order.

As for "client" and "guest", there is trend to inflation in language
usage, not just these days; using foreign words or ones that the
speaker thinks are more flattering or more polished from his/her point
of view.  Remember Mrs. Malaprop.

Who knows, maybe it goes down well with those not of our ilk.

One of the most inappropriate utterances I've ever heard came from an
assistant in a veterinarian's office. I had brought a beloved elderly
cat named Leela in to see the vet because the cat was having seizures.
It turned out that the poor thing had had a stroke, and the vet did
not believe that recovery was possible. I agreed to have Leela
euthanized. I stroked her fur and spoke to her soothingly as the vet
injected potassium into her heart.

As I left the room, cradling the lifeless body of my pet, one of the
veterinary technicians chirped "Have a nice day!"

That's really terrible, Pink, and I symnpathize, having made such
heartbreaking trips home from the vet myself.  For sheer boorish
insensitivity, that technician gets top marks.  I'd put it alongside
the brainlessness of the radiology technician some years back who
X-rayed my husband's chest while he nervously thought about all the
things that might appear in his lungs, and then, as he was on his way
out, said earnestly, "Good luck."  He came home in a panic and didn't
settle down until an all-clear came through several days later.

All the vapid and tiresomely repetitive utterances that we are
subjected to day after day as a substitute for exchanging any sort of
genuine pleasantries make me feel so crabby that I don't like to be
told "Have a nice day" *any* time.  I feel like responding in the most
belligerent voice possible, "Why should I?"

My, but you uncorked some steam with this one, didn't you, Nautico?

Archae0pteryx

Tryx,

Regarding the "Have a nice day" plague...

A few years ago I had a job in in a very nice used book store. My
employer suggested that if we wanted to use a cheery phrase, it would
be better to say "I hope you have a nice day" rather than "Have a nice
day." That way it doesn't sound so much like a command.

Yet another annoying hackneyed expression: "We're done here." That
said, I've yet to hear it uttered in common parlance, but only in TV
crime show interrogation rooms, when the accused'd defense counsel
throws it at the prosecutor to convey his or her displeasure and
terminate the session.

Nautico,

I heard the TV-courtroom cliché "We're done here" at a party right
before Christmas. Two guys were having a disagreement (since this was
a Mensa-sponsored event, the disagreement was on a rather ridiculous
subject, something to do with propulsion systems on "Battlestar
Galactica.") One of the guys finally said to the other, in an
exasperated, supercilious tone, "We're done here," and walked away.
Life imitates art.

Pink, what a coincidence. I got my Mensa renewal form in the mail
today (second?gasp!?notice). Have never attended a Mensa event, and
now I know why: Mensans and Trekkies are one and the same!

"Mensans and Trekkies are one and the same!" Except for you and me, of course. :)

>> Mensans and Trekkies are one and the same!

You may be onto something there. Y'know, the only big conventions of
any kind that I've ever visited have been Mensa Annual Gatherings and
Trek Expos. Those folks could save a ton of money by combining their
conventions into one huge geekfest.

Pink, this confirms my suspicions!

http://wg06.us.mensa.org/Sites/wg06/NavigationMenu/Tours/MForceOne/MForceOne.htm

Only $3100 dollars to experience zero gravity.
Maybe if we got organized, we could plaster G-A with guestions for
Pinkfreud and send her.  Oh, I just checked again  (after those two
chargers, I'm learning to more careful).  Shucks:  reservation and
downpayment had to be in by Dec. 31.

When I was a kid, and I smarted off to my parents (which happened
rather often), my father sometimes made use of a line from Jackie
Gleason's "The Honeymooners." My Dad would look at me in a
mock-threatening manner and say "You want a trip to the moon, Pinkie?"
And, of course, I secretly DID want a trip to the moon. Maybe that
zero-gravity flight is the next best thing!

Regarding my comment above, in case anyone wonders, one of my
childhood nicknames was "Pinkie," a reference to the fact that I was
much paler and pinker than my parents or siblings. I was the light
sheep of the family.

I was indeed wondering, "Pinky"  - then and now. :)
Myo

Pinky,

Another one: "She's 13, going on 30." This is usually uttered by a
young mother who enjoys pretending that she's exasperated by her
daughter's precociousness, when, if the truth be known, she's proud of
it.

Adam tells Eve "Dont even go there":

http://www.grimmy.com/images/MGG_Archive/MGG_2006/MGG0330.gif

>> Mensans and Trekkies are one and the same!

Nope, Nautico, sorry, nope, nope, nope.

High degree of overlap, yeah.  Identity, nope.  Me, I don't generalize
about Mensans.  They're not even all smart.

Tryx
M >30 yr.
non-TV-watcher, have seen approximately 2 episodes of ST all the way
through, or maybe it was the same one twice (nothing against
them--just not an enthusiast)