I am looking for the methods people use to keep long-distance
relationships alive and going well.  A diverse set of the methods
people use is ideal. Do people simply call?  Do people write letters?
Do they send packages?  How do they remain intimate?  Surely people
have more elaboriate schemes for keeping these relationships alive.  A
quantitatve or qualitative answer (or both) is what I'm looking for.

For the sake of framing a proper answer, perhaps some 8-10 different
methods as described above would be enough to answer this question.

Hi etienne-ga:

Thanks for the interesting question. 

There certainly are many, many different ways to keep a 
long-distance relationship alive and going well. Instead 
of just listing 8 - 10 "things" you can do, I have 
organized what I've found into "categories" or "strategies". 

I've given you the basic strategies below and I've also 
provided one concrete example of how to put each 
strategy into play. Of course, one of the best things you 
can bring to this effort is *yourself* and *your* creativity 
in producing variations on the themes. :-)

(I'm assuming from your name that you're a "he" and your 
significant other is a "she". Please forgive me if I've 
assumed wrong.)

So, in no particular order:

1. Keep fun, everyday items around that remind each of you 
of the other and of good times you've had as a couple. 

Example: Make two copies of a calendar where the pictures 
are of the two of you together or of special places you 
have traveled together. Most larger copy shops use color 
photocopiers to create these personalized calendars. Make 
sure both of you use this calendar as your daily one and 
you'll be reminded of happy times each time you look at it. 

2. Pamper her long-distance. Research nice places for her 
to go near where she is and then arrange a gift certificate 
for her to go there. 

Example: If you know she's stressed (from missing you, of 
course) then find a massage therapist nearby her and arrange 
for an relaxing massage. Mail her the details in a nice 
card, maybe with a package of soothing bath salts as well!

3. Count the days! Make a fun game out of counting until 
the next time you are together that helps take away the 
hurt of separation. 

Example: Make a jigsaw puzzle out of a blown-up copy of 
a picture of yourself and send her a handful of pieces 
each day/week/month - so that she receives the complete 
puzzle just before you are together again.

4. Let her know how she's special to you. Even though you 
are not together right now, show her that you still cherish
all the little things about her. 

Example: Every night write down a certain number (5, 10) of 
things that you love about her. At the end of a week, collect 
all those things and send them in a love letter to her with 
a box of her favorite chocolates (or other treat).

5. Send her "cuddle-substitutes". Since you can't be there 
to cuddle and hold her, send her things to help her feel 
warmed and comforted.

Example: Send her a plush teddy bear to hold at night, and 
wooly socks to keep her feet warm in bed. 

6. Go on virtual dates. Arrange to participate in web-based 
events (other than just chat, email) together. 

Example: Find a live webcast of a concert that you'd both enjoy 
and arrange to watch it together. Keep a chat window open during 
the event so you can share your thoughts and feelings. 

7. Don't hold back your true feelings. Sometimes people let 
physical distance turn into emotional distance. 

Example: If something is bothering you or has got you down, 
let her know. Pretending that everything's OK doesn't work - 
she'll know it isn't true. Sharing with her like you were 
in the same room will increase your intimacy. 

8. Surround yourself with things that remind you of her. 
As important as it is for her to have things that remind her 
of you, it's equally important the other way around.

Example: When you do get to spend time together, keep mementos 
of pleasant occasions, even if its just a pack of matches from 
a restaurant or a ticket stub from a plane ride together. Place 
these things around your home where you'll "stumble" upon them 
every now and then. 

9. Make time for just yourself. As important as this is with 
"short-distance" relationships, it's equally important for 
"long-distance" ones. 

Example: Go to a movie or other event that you think you 
probably wouldn't go to as a couple. Maybe a movie she might 
not enjoy, or a sporting event she might not be interested in. 
Do your best not to worry about being away from her during this 
time - in fact don't think of her at all if you can. This is 
HEALTHY. 

10. Everything in moderation. Don't let any of the above 
strategies get out of hand. The idea here is to keep the 
relationship alive and healthy, not to obsess over her 
absence.

Example: Don't make your house a shrine to her with pictures 
everywhere you look. Don't call her five times a day or 
wonder where she is if she doesn't answer the phone one day. 
You can still smother someone long-distance. :-)

I hope that these strategies are the kind of thing that you 
are looking for. Remember to put *yourself* into everything you 
do. 

If you would like any clarification before you rate this answer, 
please let me know and I'd be happy to oblige. 

And a special thank you for framing your question so well and 
laying out what you expected in an answer. That was very 
helpful!

websearcher-ga

Search Strategy on Google:
"long distance relationship" 
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=%22long+distance+relationship%22+

Some of the ideas above were gleaned from information on:

Long Distance Relationships
http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/s/a/sar242/ldr.html

Long Distance Couples
http://www.longdistancecouples.com/couples.htm

Thank you very much, websearcher, this is a good place for me (yes, a
he) to start (and the other is a she :)

Great answer - I wish I had read that when my relationship was long
distance!  :)

One more suggestion (along the same lines of 'doing things together')
- every year on a Australia Day my home city has a huge fireworks
display.  I remember my partner calling me from the celebrations from
his mobile phone - he stayed on the line for the whole duration of the
show and described all the fireworks to me (in wonderful detail!) so
that I wouldn't miss out.   Things like this are always appreciated -
it's the next best thing to being there together.

(Also, plenty of phone calls, letters, postcards, parcels, etc...) :) 
Good luck with your relationship!

SeaDragon-Ga

Can I ask, seadragon, how long you two were apart and if the
relationship worked out?  Unfortunately my partner and I are going to
be apart for a long time... I am wondering how long other people's
long distance relationships have lasted.

I would also recommend both of you getting web cams and you can hear
and see each other over Netmeeting.

Hi Etienne,

My partner and I were apart for just over six months; at the time the
separation was a permanent one, but I ended up being offered one job
in his city, and another in Japan.  I decided to take the one where he
was.  :)

After another six months of living in the same city, we moved in
together and have never looked back!

( was involved in another long distance relationship previous to this
one which didn't work out so well;  I think that the main problem was
a lack of communication so that we ended up growing apart. )

If you and your partner are committed to making the relationship work,
I'm sure you'll find a way.   Enjoy your long-distance relationship
and don't lose your sense of humour - just because you are apart
doesn't mean that that you can't have fun!

SeaDragonGa

I think the answer to this question is amazing. 

I was in a long-distance relationship for two years - it was better
than any relationship I ever had - you can definitely make this work
if you are creative!  it still feels magical that i wake up to my
husband every single day - going the road in long distance really
makes you appreciate each other.

One thing that really worked for us was arranging to speak somehow,
everyday.  It was a wonderful thing to look forward to.  We wrote a
lot by e-mail (less costly) but the sound of his voice, even for a
moment each day, was so wonderful.

Reading the same books, writing letters, making CDs - I love this sort
of stuff, and the precise activities you choose will clearly depend a
lot on you two and what you like, but just KNOWING that you want to
make it work will take you a long way ~

The most important thing to remember is that a long distance
relationship is not a substitute for the real thing.

THE GOAL OF ANY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP IS FOR EITHER ONE OR THE
OTHER PARTNER TO EVENTUALLY MOVE TO WHERE THE OTHER IS LIVING ...

I can't stress this enough.  Even if it can't be for a year or two you
MUST set this as your common goal and work towards accomplishing it. 
At six months, decision 'A' should be made ... at nine months action
'B' should be taken ... at 14 months decision 'C' should be acted
upon; until you are both living in the same city and the relationship
is no longer a long distance one.

If you BOTH don't have this goal set as the cornerstone of your long
distance relationship ... it will fail; I guarentee it.  So don't beat
around the bush and waste each other's time (but most especially your
own) ... if you care about keeping the relationship going set this
goal and make sure you see progress in seeing it through.

Sincerely,
Someone-who-knows

All good advice.  I consider myself an "expert" in LDR... I'm now
happily married to the man I had a long-distance relationship with for
several YEARS.  We met about two weeks before he left the city we were
both living in.  At the time I wasn't looking for a "serious
relationship" and frankly neither was he; it didn't seem like a big
deal to have a little fling with someone who was moving away.  Hah! 
Life plays tricks on you.
Anyway, in addition to all the writing (postcards, letters, eventually
email) and exorbitant phone bills (before free long distance minutes
on cellular), we worked hard at one thing:  when one of us began to
feel desperate (like we weren't ever going to work this out, or get
together, or whatever), the other one held it together and kept the
faith.  We never ever allowed ourselves to both break down at the same
time.  It made all the difference.  Doesn't seem like something you
can control, but it IS something you can work at.  If one is sad, or
feeling hopeless, the other HAS to step up and carry the faith that it
will work out.
Good luck.