My husband has been having extreme difficulty with side effects for
several medications to treat his anxiety disorder. My question
actually has two parts: a)Are there any medications known to
effectively calm the body without making the person feel very
fatigued? We have found that zoloft did not cause fatigue but did
nothing to help the anxiety and nervousness. Other medications he is
taking has worked wonders to treat the anxiety but he feels so
fatigued throughout the day, that he can barely function. b)Is there
some kind of unbiased and reliable service or directory that can
provide me with good recommendations or that gives ratings for
psychiatrists in my area
(NY/NJ)? How can I, as a spouse, find answers regarding my husband's
medical condition when his doctor won't discuss it with me? Is there a
good resource for this either online or some kind of hotline I can
call?

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Clarification of Question by feelfree2-ga on 08 Mar 2006 18:02 PST

The reason my husband's doctor won't discuss it with me is because she
is so busy that she is rarely available to speak to her patients, let
alone their spouses. This is why we are trying to locate a new
psychiatrist and need someone who is extremely competent but also very
available and accessible (will return phone calls in a reasonable
amount of time, willing to take the time to answer any questions,
etc.)

I am sorry you and your husband are having these difficulties and I
wish him a speedy recovery, both to ease his discomfort as well as
yours. Please keep in mind that my input is not medical advice and I
am not a psychotherapist of any sort.

You said, "How can I, as a spouse, find answers regarding my husband's
medical condition when his doctor won't discuss it with me?"

If your husband will not see his doctor with you present or refuses to
give his permission to discuss his treatment with you, I think you are
effectively out of luck what with new non-disclosure rules. Such
action on his part may speak volumes and I would suggest looking into
joint counseling in addition to his medical treatment. In my
experience it is rare for a psychiatric professional to not meet with
family members as part of formulating a treatment plan.

I have several friends that have taken various "happy" pills. Every
one (save one) of them has switched from the first drug prescribed and
most because of unwanted side effects ranging from zero effect to
physiological changes to sexual complications to panic attacks. The
one that did not switch has seen her libido diminish to the point
where she is technically in a sexless marriage (she takes paroxetine,
available under its trademarked name).

What I am saying is there is a number of medications available and
they can be tried for maximum effect with minimal (or acceptable) side
effect.

Incidentally, I so hope your husband is being treated by a
psychiatrist and not his general practitioner. I am bemused by the
number of GPs that are dispensing psychiatric drugs that are really
outside their expertise.

Then again, I deal with animals. Who am I to talk?

Through web searches, you can sometimes see the information that goes
to MDs and that is included in package inserts.  Personally, I found
the information from on-line discussion pages (always to be taken with
a grain of salt) more helpful.  Notions from these sites can then be
addressed with the medical professional.  Some people may find that it
helps to take meds at a different time of day, or less frequently
(e.g., every other day), or in combination with another med--all
depending on medical advice.  Some meds can have nasty side effects if
you start skipping doses, so this is not advice to experiment!  Still,
if you have more info to discuss with the M.D., you're in better
shape, especially if the doc is not a particularly skilled
communicator.