How to create passion for life, drive for career in a bright young guy
who seems to have lost the drive. Doesn't seem to realize that time
is passing by and he might come to regret the wasted years later in
his life. The biggest challenge is how to infulence him from a
distance especially in an age when a well meaning counselling/advice
over phone/mail etc. can sound as empty moralizing/lecture from
friends and family. Hence very keen in understanding "influence
techniques" to have an impact. Especially if he is living away from
family in a residential engineering school.

Hello Altutech,
Does the engineering school have a counselling service that you could contact?
Is the young man doing poorly in his studies?  In Germany, where I
live, engineering is a field of study that has many drop-outs: 
because students come to recognize that they are either not capable of
the work required, or that the field does not interest them.  Maybe he
is having misgivings about his choice of study.  Was it entirely his
own choice?  You want him to have "drive for career", but perhaps he
needs counselling about his personal interests and which career they
point to.  There are some simple tests for this  - online even, I
believe.

It is hard for a young person (any person!) to face and express
problems, especially if his own expectations  - more so, those of his
family -  are not or cannot be fulfilled.  Family may not be the best
help at the moment.

"Empty moralizing/lecture":  Counsellors are strong on the Socratic
Method, asking and listening, drawing the person out to express
himself on the matter.

This is just a well-intended and free comment, not an "answer" to your
question, which only a Researcher with a blue name can post.

Regards, Myoarin

Myoarin Hi

thanks for your comment. Unfortunately the school doesn't have a
counselling service. Also he is not doing very poorly in his studies
but seems very distracted. He chose engineering by his own choice but
couldn't gain admission in the top school he wanted to.Though given
the fact that the career choices in most middle class families
especially in his social strata is "engineering" or "medical" mainly.
He wanted to be a cricket player (most popular sport in India) but
couldn't make it to professional level and also sports as a career is
not very rewarding unless you reach national levels which is really
tough. He was good at maths, science etc. so engineering seemed like a
good option and also the fact that he got in a reasonably good school
raised expectations. But he doesn't seem excited enough. Not giving
his best in academics or even any other extra-curricular activities
etc. Watching cinema, sports etc is taking lot of his time and energy
and worrying parents.

Hi I noticed your question and although it may have already expired it
called to me.  My husband (who is also from India) got his engineering
degree and moved to the US to study further and work.  His passion has
always been theater but was not even considered an option when he went
to school.  Years later he found himself hating his jobs.
Unfortunately quitting this late in the game(once married and with two
kids) was not exactly an option anymore.
  Through lots of talk and work (we are still working on it) we found
that he can use his people skills (from acting) in the same
engineering field he started.  He has moved onto Marketing and is now
a manager.  He no longer has to work on the dreaded engineering but
uses what he has learned on the more rewarding (for him) area of
marketing and sales.  He also pursues theater as a very involved
hobby.

I hope you can help this young man figure out what is it that creates
passion for him and how he can utilize it in other fields.  Perhaps
engineering is not it for him but there may be other careers that will
use his passion for sports in other aspects.  He should also ensure
that he doesn't drop that which he likes just because he doesn't have
what it takes to make it professionally as a star.  There are coaches,
sport medicine, team management, and a myriad of related jobs which
will require a good educational base to make it in it.

All the best.