My mom is a widow living in California and has recently gotten engaged
to a man that has been married twice and has no assets.  The wedding
is in two months therefore I want to make sure legally she is
protected in case they were to divorce and that my brother and I are
protected in case she were to pass away.  My mom has a lot of assests:
an $800,000 house, my dad's retierment money (from 30 years of
work)etc...  My mom does have a will that states if she were to pass
away the inheritance would go to my brother and I. Unfortunately my
mom does not want to do a prenump.Also my mom's parents are still
living and have many assests that I want to make sure are protected as
well ( 2 million dollar home etc...) My grandparents also have a will
that name my mom and her brother (my uncle) for the inheritance. Right
now my grandparents have not added my name and my brother's name to
the will and there is not a statement that mentions if something were
to happen to my mom how their money should be allocated.
Here are so questions I have:
1) I have read that inherritance (if my grandparents pass away)in
California is not community property so if my mom were to get a
divorce or pass away- her new husband would not be intitled to that
money- right? Please confirm this.

2) I want to make sure that my mom's new husband is only intitled to
50% of what is earned after the marriage and this does not include any
inheritance from my grandparents?

3) Because she lives in California- should my mom get the house
appraised right before the wedding?

4) Should I encourage my mom not to change the title on her house by
adding her new husband's name to avoid making things complicated down
the road if something were to happen or does that matter?

5) What happens if my mom and her new husband decide to buy a more
expensive new house and then she dies? How would we figure out how
much money her children are intitled to?  How would we legally be able
to get him out of the house -Would we have to buy him out?

6) Do you have any strong advice about precautionary measures ( ie
adding statements to the will of my mom and grandparents) that my
brother and I
should complete given this situation.

7) If my mom were to change her name would that cause for any problems
down the road?

8) Should my grandparents will and my mom's will be compared to one
another to avoid any confusion down the road (naming people/situations
etc..)?

9) Do you have any other advice for me to think about given my
curcumstances I would really appreciate it!

I greatly appreciate your time answering these questions during such a
stressful time.
 

3)

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Request for Question Clarification by juggler-ga on 18 Mar 2006 23:16 PST

Hi,

As someone who has answered similar questions in the past, I must say
that $20 isn't a sufficient fee for the amount of effort a researcher
would have to devote to your nine-part query.

You may wish to review Google Answers' pricing guidelines.
http://answers.google.com/answers/pricing.html

Bring this to your mother--

PEOPLE WHO OWN ANYTHING-- house, business, whatever-- DO NOT PRACTICE
ESTATE PLANNING ARE BEGGING FOR A PROBLEM. SEE AN ESTATE ATTORNEY NOW,
AND DO IT BEFORE YOU REMARRY.

The cost of an estate attorney is much less than a legal battle down
the road. The attorney is often less than the cost of probate, which
(s)he might help avoid or minimize.

Never count on an inheritance. If your mother wants to give it all to
homeless cats, she can.

You seem rather greedy to me. You need to udnerstand that your
granparents and your mom's assets are NOT YOUR asstets, they are their
assets. Although their assets look sizeable to you now, they may in
fact use up all their assets before they die. It is their money, they
earned it, and as my 5 year old son used to say to his sister, "You
are not the boss of me/it."

Your mom may love her future hsuband more than she loves you and your
brother, and want him to inherit from her estate if she were to
precedd her husband in death. If you have brought up the subject with
your mother and she has given you here decision well then that is her
decision. Again you seem awfully greedy scheaming about protecting
yourself to inherit money that is not in your control. Just becasue
you are a blood relative doesn't mean squat. They may already have
your number, and be aware of your scheaming and have decided to leave
you nothing.

I wish your mother well, all the happiness in the world, with her upcoming marriage.

I think you are all being completely ridiculous for judging this
person for his/her concerns based on a question in this forum.  He/She
has some very legitimate questions and passing judgement on his/her
concerns based on the limited information you know about him/her is
outright silly and quite frankly was not solicited in any way
whatsoever.

I was completely taken back from the response from roxrox-ga.  My
questions were for more general guidance (resources/ideas etc..) and
not to get your personal opinion when you have NO idea of the
situation, history or people involved. Of course I wish my mother all
the happiness in the world. We are a close family. Having to talk
about inheritance is not something i ever expected or planned for at
such a young age. I know my father would have wanted to make sure that
his children and future grandchildren would continue to be included in
any inherritance even if my mom were to remarry. I completely realize
that my mom is a grown woman and will be the ultimate decision maker
of the inherritance however, we all want to make sure that she is
taken care of/protected in case something happens (divorce or death). 
You have no concept or true idea of the issues that we as a family
have had to face since loosing my father- I have to hope for the best
yet be mindful that bad things do happen to good people and therefore,
I want to help my family be prepared. I do not want any regrets.

Obviously you have some personal issues that influenced your negative
response to my questions.  I can only hope that in the future you try
to remember that there is a lot more emotionally involved in the
story/situation behind the email. The intention of my email was to get
better prepared not to be lectured by someone who knows absolutely
nothing about me.  Before you judge others you better take a long hard
look at yourself!

blueeys728,
The moderators removed other comments that were in agreement with my
reading of your request.

I really don't have any dog in this fight. I have never inherited
anything, so I don't ahve any personal agenda I'm working off of, only
reading what you wrote. I have some family who I might some day
inherit from but I don't think about it or "plan" for it nor do I
counsel my family members on how to insure that I will be one of their
heirs. I am only reacting to and commenting on what you have written.

You wrote- I know my father would have wanted to make sure that
his children and future grandchildren would continue to be included in
any inherritance even if my mom were to remarry. I completely realize
that my mom is a grown woman and will be the ultimate decision maker
of the inherritance however, we all want to make sure that she is
taken care of/protected in case something happens (divorce or death). 

If your father would have wanted to leave you an inheritance then he
would have, no? You have discussed a pre-nuputal agreement with your
mother and she has said no. As you have said she is a grown woman and
will make her own decisions. Your stament of "we all want to make sure
that she is
taken care of/protected in case something happens (divorce or death).
" is rather trnasparent of your motives. If she divorces, she has
already said she doesn't want a pre-nup so being the grown woman that
she is will live with the consequences of her decision. And if she
dies, there is no need to protect her, she has passed away. There is
only a need to protect yourself and your sought after inheritance,
should your mother or grandparents wish to leave you anything at all,
if there is anything in their estate when they pass.

If you have discussed these things with your mother,and I'll bet you
have, then she has been in your words, "prepared." Hopefully you will
be able to find peace with that and move on.