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Asked by: gradual-ga
List Price: $23.00
02 May 2006 00:40 PDT
Expires: 01 Jun 2006 00:40 PDT
Question ID: 724628
-Trying to finish a paper late night need some input on my opening paragraph. Please grammer/spell check along with any other criticism. I'd also like for you to respond to this and tell me what you think the paper is about. ?Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal....? Abraham Lincoln The Gettysburg Address November 19, 1863 As President Lincoln spoke the last five words of his first sentence during The Gettysburg Address he set things in motion that would forever change the face of the United States. With careful speech that surmounted any boundary of race or ethnicity, and a tone that spoke to everyone Lincoln successfully not only changed the way the U.S. Constitution was viewed, but the way people viewed the United States. With those 272 words Lincoln managed to sooth a nation that was dying from the inside and turn the tide of a war. Along with his address, he changed the view of the past into something people could embrace as a new beginning. The Gettysburg Address challenged the way people looked at life. The ideas of transcendentalism that Lincoln instilled through it were so subtle that one scarce not recognizes they are there at all. There are many different cultural elements that influenced The Gettysburg Address including the elements that were in direct effect of the war and everything that surrounded the war. The Gettysburg Address changed the view of the war from ?messy squabbles over constitutionality, sectionalism, property, and state? into something far more abstract; a view that considered the war a struggle for freedom, a struggle for democracy, and a view that took a new face to the words of the U.S. Constitution by looking past words and into their meanings.
Re: Gettysburg Address
Answered By: wonko-ga on 02 May 2006 07:20 PDT
As President Lincoln spoke the last five words of his first sentence during The Gettysburg Address, he initiated permanent changes to the character of the United States. With careful speech that appealed to everyone regardless of their ethnicity, Lincoln transformed both the way citizens viewed the Constitution and how they felt about the United States. With those 272 words, Lincoln soothed a nation dying from internal hemorrhaging and turned the tide of the war. Through his address, he transformed the abstract ideals of the past into something people could embrace as the foundation for new beginning. The Gettysburg Address challenged people to look at life differently. It altered citizens' outlook on the war from ?messy squabbles over constitutionality, sectionalism, property, and state? into something far more intangible: a struggle for the freedom and democracy enshrined in the words of the U.S. Constitution. Many different cultural elements influenced The Gettysburg Address, including some that arose as a direct effect of the war and its surrounding issues. Lincoln subtly instilled transcendentalist ideas through his speech that they are difficult to discern, but they nonetheless had an impact. (Continue with supporting facts) Based on the paragraph, I expect you will describe how people viewed the war and the country both before and after the speech. I would also expect you to provide supporting evidence for "transcendentalist ideas" that are present in the speech. I noticed several instances of redundancy, such as "race and ethnicity." Several sentences were written in the passive voice. The paragraph also suffered from wordiness that created overly complex sentences. I also found opportunities to use a more varied vocabulary instead of repeating "view." Furthermore, I noticed a few missing commas. Finally, you really have two paragraphs here. I have reordered the material and split it where a second complete idea is discussed. I believe the introduction captures the reader's interest and is more effective. Best of luck with your paper. Sincerely, Wonko
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