I have been in an on-and-off again relationship with a 48yr old man of
West Indies ancestry.  We sometimes enjoy body massages and feather
ticklers as part of our relaxation and foreplay. I bought a special
kit from an on-line gifts company for Valentine's day.  It includes
body oil, foot massage oil, a blindfold, candle, two 8" feathers, etc.

Recently, I used the massage oils and feathers on him, a black one and a red
one. I know of two other women that he sees since our relationship
waxes and wanes.  He phoned me a few days before returning from a week
long trip saying that I was a lunatic, need help, etc. but would not
explain or get into it.

When he returned, he called me in a drunken state and asked "What kind of hex
is this you're doing on me?...you're a lunatic!...what's the purpose
of this red feather under the bed? Whatever it is, I want it off!"
That's when I realized the red feather was missing from the kit. I
learned that one of the other women had stayed at his house while he
was away. She had described to him how she found a "red feather under
the bed, at the head of the bed and exactly in the middle, like it was
purposefully placed there". I am shocked and angry at him to think
that I would take any such thing as voodoo and hexes seriously. I find
it unbelievable that he gave any of this a second thought! We are both
well-educated people.  He is from a family of exceptional success,
given the state of their "third world" country and early life. Yet, he
has continued to avoid any contact since the call to me in his drunken
state of mind.

I have spoken with the woman several times, before his
first call to me and since. We have had a rather cordial although
competitive relationship. She never mentioned the feather to me until
the day after his accusatory call to me. She denies any belief in
voodoo/hexes herself but says that after he saw the feather under the
bed himself, he called "everyone near and dear to him to ask about it
and we even looked it up on the internet". I find her behavior very
suspicious! However, I made her aware of the kit. There is no picture
of it on the website any longer but he certainly knows about the
feathers! Although I'm not sure he ever noticed the colors since I
blindfolded him on one occasion and he usually closes his eyes when
I'm massaging him. I have my theory about the woman using this
situation to instigate doubts and accusations on me. What baffles and
bothers me is his withdrawl.  His male cousin, whom I have consulted
on matters in the past, has also not returned my calls for help to
understand why I have been accused of something so ludicrous!

My Question: CAN SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY TALK ABOUT THE USE OF RED
FEATHERS IN VOODOO OR OTHER BLACK MAGIC WHICH COULD EXPLAIN WHY THIS
MAN IS CONVINCED THAT I HAVE DONE SOMETHING INTENTIONAL AND TO HURT
HIM?  DOES IT GO BEYOND THE PERSON'S EDUCATION AND RATIONAL THINKING
SO MUCH THAT HE COULD BE PERSUADED TO BELIEVE SUCH THINGS?  IS THERE
ANYTHING I CAN DO TO CLEAR MY NAME OF THIS FARSE???

Red feathers have different significance among different believers in
Voodoo or whatever.

For some, a red feather is a sign of courage, for others it's
sexuality or possibly death.

Clearly, your friend has attached a negative significance to your own red feather.

I would suggest that you now take his reaction as a good reason for
terminating the relationship.

Good Luck!

Bryan

It sounds to me as if this man is grasping at straws (or, in this
case, at feathers) in an attempt to find an excuse to discontinue his
relationship with you. I suggest that, rather than analyzing the
situation, you try to distance yourself from this man. The significant
thing here is not the meaning of feathers in voodoo. The significant
thing is that this man, for reasons that you may never know, doesn't
want you as a lover anymore. I've been in this kind of situation in
the past (though without the voodoo element), and I know that it
hurts, but I also know that trying to dissect the reasons will not
resurrect a dead relationship.

Educated or not,a drunk is a drunk.  I get it.  And if you are as
educated as you say you should get it too; there is no logic to a
drunks thinking.

Why does everyone assume that there is any "relationship"?  Although
this was not the case three years ago, I now simply enjoy him for the
sex - just as the other women do!  The particular woman in question
claims, also in his presence, that this is all she wants to have with
him as well.  Yet, she takes an aggressive stance when there at his
house - answers the phone, makes negative comments about him as "a
male whore", etc.  He says he only wants her for the convenience of
sex and looking after things while he's gone - she lives 10 minutes
away with her mother (she's 43 and never married).  Weird stuff, I
know!  Any more ideas?

Sex IS a relationship.

Unless it is purely a commercial transaction.

Hmmm, well, there are sexual relationships and apparently sexual
non-relationships, at least if you once lived in the "Casa blanca".

Worried,
You might burn the red feather and tell the man that you have had a
spell spoken to remove all and any bad hexing between you two.

Thanks to all who have commented!

To myoarin:  I do not have the feather.  I was told that neither of
the two were going to touch it - so, I assume it is still under the
bed!  Maybe your comment is with good intention but, I disagree.  Even
if I had the feather back, I think it would be a mistake to play
along.  It could backfire and this would only give him the idea that
there was something to these accusations all along! Over a week has
passed and I know from some brief messages that he still thinks there
is something to this ridiculous story!