I reckon it's the Remote Control.

Otherwise I am sure I would have become even madder even sooner.

Any arguments?

Hi Bryan,

I thought the greatest invention ever was supposed to be sliced bread,
because all other inventions seem to be compared to it.

Using Google's wildcard facility, I performed a search for "the
greatest invention ever is *". It seems that not everyone agrees with
you about the remote control, because I got the following results:

the seedless watermelon
the internet
spell check
auto start
those gift bags
music
nanoloop - a music writing program for Gameboy
zombie paper - like fly paper but for zombies
peanut butter and jelly
paper - in 105 AD
cheese
green potatoes with ... apple custard stew
the circle
the Razor Electric Scooter
the sundial
the airplane
the Thermos
the opposite sex
the i-pod
the mind of a child
the remote control to the TV
the two party system
the world wide web
the air conditioner
the book
the air guitar
the $0.13 bag of flavored Ramen noodles
beer

"The remote control to the TV" was suggested as the greatest invention
ever in a "Homecoming 2005" article from "Inside Binghampton
University":

'Pearlstein ?66 gave a comical talk about aging strategies. ?Modern
technology,? she sighed, ?some of us fear it and get crazy about it,
but the greatest invention ever is the remote control to the TV.'
http://inside.binghamton.edu/news/newspage.cgi?issue=2005oct27&id=13

I tried turning the phrase around and searching for "remote control is
the greatest invention ever", but this yielded no results. Shortening
it to "remote control is the greatest invention" yielded four
qualified endorsements:

"The remote control is the greatest invention since the television"
http://forums.ugo.com/archive/index.php/t-20288.html

"The remote control is the greatest invention of the 20th century"
http://www.ae.utexas.edu/design/rube/rube2000.htm

"The all-in-one remote control is the greatest invention since self-flush toilets"
http://www.g4tv.com/freshgear/features/47886/Lab_Blog_Whats_Up_Next.html

"The remote control is the greatest invention since the wheel"
http://www.angelfire.com/moon/eggless/ihateyou.html

I'd have to agree with the first of these, that the remote control is
the greatest invention since television. The remote control cannot be
the greatest invention ever, since it is of little use unless the
television has been invented first.

I trust this provides the information you require.

Regards,
eiffel-ga

Google Search Strategy:

"the greatest invention ever is *"
://www.google.com/search?q=%22the+greatest+invention+ever+is+*%22&hl=en

"remote control is the greatest invention"
://www.google.com/search?q=%22remote+control+is+the+greatest+invention%22&hl=en

---

Request for Answer Clarification by probonopublico-ga on 08 May 2006 08:43 PDT

Hi Eiffel

Great to hear from you again with another of your towering answers.

However, I really must query your Answer on this occasion because of
your assertion that ...

[QUOTE] 

The remote control cannot be the greatest invention ever, since it is
of little use unless the television has been invented first.

[UNQUOTE]

Television is not the only device that can be controlled remotely
because I was actually thinking about my toy cars, my model
aeroplanes, my model boats, and my HiFi. (In that order.)

All the Best

Bryan

---

Clarification of Answer by eiffel-ga on 08 May 2006 09:05 PDT

Hi Bryan,

That's a good point about television not being the only target of a remote control.

Using a Google wildcard search for "remote control *" I found references to:

Remote Control Areo Hawk Helicopter
Remote Control Keyfinder
Remote Control Vibrators
Remote Control Roboraptor
Remote Control Hovercraft
Remote Control Scrambler
Remote Control Robosapien
Remote Control Morphibians
Remote Control Vectron
Remote Control Blinds
Remote Control Vehicles
Remote Control Dinosaur
Remote Control Fart Machine
Remote Control Garage Door Opener
Remote Control PCspy
Remote Control Searchlights
Remote Control Dog Collar
Remote Control Dog
Remote Control Scary Sounds Machine
Remote Control Searchlight
Remote Control Dalek
Remote Control Boat
Remote Control Airship

Now if only I could get one remote control for all of these. Usually
when I'm looking for my Dog Collar remote control I end up with my
Scary Sounds Machine remote control instead, which frightens my dog
something terrible.

Regards,
eiffel-ga

Perfection, Eiffel, Go to the top of your Tower.

I never knew that there was a fart machine and I've never had the need for one.

All the Best

Bryan

No way. 

It is the soother (dummy, pacifier). You cannot watch your telly in
any case if a baby is screaming next to you.

And you would have become madder much sooner than without a remote (or
a TV altogether).

It is the best thing ever.

Probably the written word

The 'remote' is just for channel surfing
- multiple channels are a rather recent innovation.

the pill

The Pill?  
Although I have been a secondary beneficiary of its use, it has been
the downfall of Western morals (not that that did not have its
enjoyable side), instrumental in the rise of women's lib with all its
negative effects (please don't ask me to enumerate), the decline of
the family, upsetting government pension schemes, ...

What about the dishwashing machine?

"What about the dishwashing machine?"

Not so sure about this one... after all, when those arrived the wifie
didn?t do the dishes on a regular basis anymore. Then her self-esteem
kinda got shot due to feelings of having been supplanted by a
mechanical device. That in turn led to the downfall of Western morals
(not that that did not have its enjoyable side), it became
instrumental in the rise of women's lib with all its negative effects
(started with the dishes...), the decline of the family, upsetting
government pension schemes ...

Elids,
Maybe, somewhere, but not in my house.  And I was thinking that
dishwashers freed males from enslavery in the kitchen, allowing them
to show their appreciation for wifie's good cooking in ways that they
could enjoy together.  But perhaps I can't generalize.

Without a doubt, hot water on demand.

Although I haven't needed one for many years, I'd like to cast a vote
for the humble condom. It helps to prevent the spread of disease and
unwanted pregnancy, and it makes a good water-balloon.

it was a joke...  ;-)

Except for "The remote control is the greatest invention since the
wheel" in the Answer, nobody has mentioned the lowly wheel without
which there would be no remote control fart machines, air guitars,
zombie papers or the opposite sex (okay, this is too funny-- I
assigned numbers to each of the items mentioned in this entire posting
and had people randomly pick four. Leave it to Murphy for those four
to have remarkably little to do with the wheel!).

I'm going for the wheel. That and Isaac Newton's best known invention, the cat flap.

Thanks Bryan.

eiffel-ga

paper - in 105 AD

Papyrus in .... 1200 BC ?

Probably long before.

To markvmd-ga
Not the man who invented the wheel but the man who thought of TWO
wheels and an AXLE between them.
   

Kemlo

Kemlo--

No, no-- the unicycle is the epitome of form and function as one!

--Mark

PS Seriously, folks; Isaac Newton invented the cat flap.

>> Seriously, folks; Isaac Newton invented the cat flap.

I remember reading about this. Newton was just sitting there when a
cat turd fell on his head, and this brilliant idea occurred...

Personally, I don't think the wheel or two wheels with an axel were so
difficult to invent.  Why?  Once someone happened to discover that a
round thing rolled  - as rocks and logs will, and played with rolling
a round rock or piece of wood under his/her hand, it seems to me that
the wheel was a simple and logical development.

With all respect for Poly-guru's suggestion, again I think that
nursing mums quickly discovered a substitute.  I understand that
Louisiana Cajuns used to tie poppy seeds in a piece of cloth for this
purpose, introducing a natural sleeping "inducer".

What about double entry bookkeeping?

The Inca's survived WITHOUT the wheel.

Think its pretty obvious beer is the greatest invention ever. closely
followed by the internet. otherwise this discussion wouldnt have
happened in the way it has. u try discussin things like this usin ur
carrier pigeon :)

I would suggest that most woman would select BOB as "The Greatest
MAN-Made Invention in the World - Ever".

BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend