What form of the discipline have found to be the most effective to children?

Hello Dida70,

    I believe positive reinforcement and follow through work the best.
Spanking, hitting, and yelling have not proven to be effective
discipline methods.


"Hitting children teaches them that it is acceptable to hit others who
are smaller and weaker. ?I'm going to hit you because you hit your
sister? is a hypocrisy not lost on children."

"Hitting children teaches acceptance of violence. While most of us who
were spanked as children grow up to be healthy adults, spanking caused
anxiety, contributed to feelings of helplessness and humiliation, and
often provoked anger and a desire for revenge, feelings which have
usually been repressed in adulthood but may lead to depression, adult
violence, and hitting our own children. Effective discipline exists.
It does not involve hitting and humiliating children."
http://www.stophitting.com/disathome/factsAndFiction.php


   Read these sites for good advice:

Lots of good tips:
http://childparenting.about.com/library/howto/htdisciplinekids.htm

Positive Reinforcement
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5153.html

and

http://www.liveandlearn.com/punish.html

and

http://life.familyeducation.com/punishment/problem-solving/29450.html

and

http://www.ext.vt.edu/pubs/family/350-110/350-110.html


Getting Your Child to do What is Asked:
http://childparenting.about.com/od/discipline/a/gaincompliance.htm

Good luck and enjoy your children!

Regards, Crabcakes

I agree. Treat them with respect and remember they learn from watching
us (so watch how you act, speak, etc.)!!

I really believe that most "issues" wouldn't be issues at all with a
little forethought--anticipating when they're hungry, tired, etc. and
preparing a snack, make naps a priority, playing/reading stories, etc.
(instead of waiting for hunger to hit, a meltdown, etc.).

Logical consequences are also a great way to discipline (root word means teach). 
http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/newsletter/10_3NL_1.asp

Sincerely,
Boquinha-ga

When I was little my grandmother would get a hickory and switch me
with it when I would do things bad.  I believe this helped me
tremendously.  However I do agree that if you treat your child with
respect they will begin to take after you.  This is how my dad has
always treated me and because of this there is no other person I
admire more.

I believe that you should whip your children when it is necessary
though.  If not I do not think they will ever learn discipline.

"I believe that you should whip your children when it is necessary
though.  If not I do not think they will ever learn discipline."

I believe someone should WHIP you, so that you'll stop making comments like this.

You know, the anti-spanking fanatics get more and more
desperate-sounding all the time because they know the country doesn't
agree with them.  When they start snarling you know you've won.

In my house growing up I was spanked (usually hand or wooden
spoon/bare bottom) and then grounded (to my room with no privileges
whatsoever) whenever I got out of line.  And I'll bet I had a happier
childhood than a lot of kids with trendy no-spanking parents!

I read about the psychologist who originally said that spanking kids
ruins their self-esteem.  I don't remember what his name was, but I do
remember reading that his own son committed suicide.  That raises a
few obvious questions:

1. Did he spank his kids?  If so, then is he now blaming himself for
his son's suicide, as many parents often do?  If he didn't, then what
brought his son's self-esteem so low that he decided to commit
suicide?

2. Where is there any CONCLUSIVE (in other words, indisputable)
evidence showing a causal link between corporal punishment and low
self-esteem?  I have yet to see it.

3. All the older generations can remember being spanked by their
parents, and yet most of them seem pretty well-adjusted. Compare that
with the current generation that doesn't dare spank their kids. Look
at the results: little to no respect for themselves and others, school
shootings, little kids telling their parents to f*** off with no
worries at all about the consequences of mouthing off like that, ad
infinitum ad nauseam ad whatever.

Here's how I see it: A firm "no" or "time out" is fine.  But what is a
parent supposed to do when the "acceptable" forms of discipline just
don't work?  Don't forget, if a kid misbehaves and becomes a criminal,
people instantly blame the parents. Well, what else can the parents
do? You try grounding your 9-year-old (keeping them in the house with
no privileges) but the kid decides to run off and do whatever he wants
anyway, regardless of what the parents say. Ok, what are the parents
supposed to do now? Ground them even longer? Send the kid to his room,
where he's likely to just climb out the window and run off again? If
you're not allowed to grab the kid and give him a slap on the seat of
the pants, how are the parents expected to keep this kid under control
until he learns right from wrong?  I'm not saying it's ok to leave
bruises on the kid - that's going too far.  My parents spanked me when
I got out of line, but they never once left any bruises or marks on
me, it just stung enough to let me know I had pushed it too far.
Nobody likes being disciplined in any way, but guess what? Sometimes
it's the only way to help your kids scan right and wrong correctly!

If you cannot control your child when he is 3 you will not control him
when he is a teenager.
The best study is now in its 40th year.. 'Give me the child and I will
show you the man" and it is so true. Badly behaved kids may be cute at
2 but certainly not when they hit their teens and start to create
problems in school and society.
Its up to the parent to stay in control of their children, and that
takes effort from the day they are born.
Childrem know as early as 2years what is right and what is wrong
behaviour, and how they act or choose to act, depends a lot on the
parents response..so help them start acceptable behaviors from the
beginning.
Http://Ladymaggic.tripod.com/educationandschools

There are some good ideas on this site for you to think about in
relation to discipling your kids...remember you are a parent, NOT a
pal..thats the mistake made from the beginning...kids need a parent
who is a parent.