William Maxwell former editor of New Yorker wrote in a letter:  "if
you love somebody with all your heart it is unbearable to  have them
die. And because you can't bear it, you don't let it happen. Without
even thinking about it you, the one who didn't die, change, enlarge
your nature so that there is room for them too, and they go on living
in you and through you......" I found this in an In Memoriam quote in
the Toronto Globe and Mail on October 5.2002. I would like the full
text of the letter and anything to show the context if possible
thankyou

Hello Myke,
 
Thank you for your question.


The quote you’re referring to, published in the October 5, 2002
edition of the Globe and Mail in Memoriam for Rosamond Ann Austin,

“...if you love someone with all your heart it is unbearable to have
them die. And because you can't bear it, you don't let it happen.
Without even thinking about it, you, the one who didn't die, change,
enlarge your nature so that there is room for them too, and they go on
living in you and through you...”

is definitely from a letter written by William Maxwell, former editor
of THE NEW YORKER.

William Maxwell wrote the above in a letter of condolence to Faith
Morrow Williams on the death of her brother, Stephen, in 1987.

This is the letter.

“Dear Faith,

If you love someone with your whole heart it is unbearable to have
them die. And because you can't bear it, you don't let it happen.
Without even thinking about it you, the one who didn't die, change,
enlarge your nature so that there is room for them too, and they go on
living in you and through you. It is something I have experienced.

Love,

Bill” 

Source: Readings from Letters of Condolence in the Book of Eulogies: 
A Collection of Memorial Tributes, Poetry, Essays and Letters of
Condolence edited with commentary by Phyllis Theroux Scribner
http://www.npr.org/programs/death/readings/essays/theroux.html

This book is currently available for online purchase at the Amazon
website.  Note - Only 4 copies left in stock.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684822512/qid=1033941151/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-4378052-2131957?v=glance

You can read 40 sample pages from this book here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684822512/ref=lib_dp_sp_1/104-4378052-2131957?v=glance&vi=slide-show#reader-link

William Maxwell’s letter of condolence can be found on page 363 of
this book according to this index page on the Amazon website.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684822512/ref=lib_rd_ss_TI03/104-4378052-2131957?v=glance&vi=reader&img=37#reader-link

Search Criteria:

“William Maxwell” “Globe and Mail” “letter”
“if you love someone with all your heart”


I hope you find this helpful.

Best Regards,
Bobbie7-ga