I am planning to issue a self-adhesive Rooney Stamp that can be placed
on any letter or package that is being entrusted to a Snail Mail
service.

It will carry the legend 'Don't mess with me!' and I reckon it should
help speed up deliveries and eliminate postal theft.

Ideally, I would like Pinkfreud to design a suitable stamp; the very
wealthy Myoarin to fund it; and Answerfinder to use his contacts with
the Boys in Blue to bring it to market using Viral Marketing, MLM or
whatever.

I would also like Politicalguru to suss out the Political implications
and to clear things with official fixers like John Prescott and his
equivalents the world over.

Another aspect on which I would like advice is PRICING but I cannot
predetermine who can best handle this so I am throwing this out to open tender.

So, C'mon Guys and Dolls ....

IMPRESS ME!

Bryan
Entrepreneur Extraordinary

---

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 07 Jul 2006 00:35 PDT

Many thanks to Everyone.

With your support, I shall now design a range of stamps to commemorate
the non-achievements of Britain's current icons:

Michael Vaughan's Knee;

Freddie Flintoff's Ankle;

Ashley Giles' Groin;

Theo Walcott's Non-Appearance;

Etc, etc.

Bryan
Now truly inspired.

Bryan,

I confess that the first thing that came into my mind when I read this
question was Mickey Rooney. A small bit of research has clued me in,
but I suspect that I should disqualify myself on the grounds that I am
not a sports fan.

~Pink

Pink, You are BRILLIANT!

Why not Mickey Rooney?

Disqualification OVERRULED!

Bryan, 
I?m sure you won?t mind me saying to my colleagues that in case they
are unfamiliar with who this Rooney is, I should inform them that he
is an England footballer who has a unorthodox method of tackling the
opponent?s tackle, so to speak, and he stamps his size 12 boots where
one would rather not have them stamped.
http://worldcup.itv.com/Images/65259.jpg

For clarification, do you intend that it should be 1st class mail -
which Rooney clearly is not. 2nd class - no, still not there. 3rd
class - perhaps. After all, that?s for junk mail, bills, and other
unwanted rubbish which is posted through my letter box every morning.
That?s all his stamp would be fit for.

answerfinder-ga

Hello Answerfinder

I want to sell the max number of stamps possible ...

And, as the Marketing Director of this Enterprise, this is your Department.

I want Rooney Stamps EVERYWHERE - even on emails, if poss.

Quite how you achieve this is entirely up to you, provided that you
bring the project home within budget.

Please don't worry about the funding ...

With the very wealthy Myoarin backing us, we won't go short of anything.

Bryan

"very wealthy"?  Tell my wife; she doesn't believe so.  

I am a stingy old b... and try to keep my shekels together  (not really a B., 
I know where they came from  - thanks Dad).

Mickey Rooney already is on a stamp:
http://www.philnet.fr/eng/cyber/barbuda/19980880.html

But I wouldn't have recognized him, and he certainly would not have
the desired effect on a letter.

A Wayne Rooney stamp could be funded by Nike, his soccer shoe maker. 
http://www.orange.co.uk/money/cardsandloans/pics/449_1.htm?linkfrom=%3C!--linkfromvariable--%3E&link=link_img&article=linkslist

It should be a drop in the bucket for Nike and well worth the
additional advertising.  It might even be worth Nike's while to have
the stamps be given away free, maybe cheaper and assure greater
distribution than AF's marketing effort (not intending to belittle
them).

The stamp shouldn't be too self-adhesive (but also not one those you
have the lick the backside of), one you have to pound with your fist
to make stick, maybe a new adhesive in nanoballs that release the glue
under sudden pressure.

Oh, maybe if Nike sponsors, on the reverse it could be licked; an
inprint with: "Just SWOOSH your tongue here, Nike".  Then the stickum
should be beer and chips flavoured.

First of all, I think that this is totally doable: 

Royal Mail 
<http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/shop;jsessionid=IXO1H0KXIXZYQFB2IGDEQEQUHRAYUQ2K?catId=9300091&pageId=shp_category&category=cat35760027&gear=shop>

There is the minor issue of publishing one's photo without their
consent, especially him being a celebrity and all. However, Rooney is
such a good natured relaxed fellow, that I am sure that he'd agree
right away.

In order to convince the politicians, I suggest turning it into a
benefit. For example, this could be the "Eunoch Memorial Day" stamp;
or, alternatively, a stamp issued in order to advise people about
birth-control and the such.

Naturally, we can turn it into a whole line of products, including an
adult entertainment business (for those who'd like to be Rooneyed, or
to Rooney their Portuguese partner, all between consenting adults, of
course); an underwear line (has anyone, and I am diverting but this is
important, seen the D&G ads?
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g303/dirrty-fun/DGIFCcampaign1.jpg ;
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g303/dirrty-fun/DGIFCcampaign2.jpg
and http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g303/dirrty-fun/DGIFCcampaign3.jpg?
No wonder they got to the finals); a footwear line; and more and more.