1. Can you make an argument that "lack of self-control" is the same as
"lack of impulse control"?
2. When does either one in relation to an activity/behavior (not
substance related) become defined as a disorder, pathology, or
addiction?
3. If the behavior meets the above definition, but the person denies
it is a problem, would it be futile or counter-productive to press the
issue?

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Clarification of Question by meego-ga on 10 Oct 2002 12:10 PDT

The activity is viewing porn, the on-line viewing is what has wreaked
havoc in his life. He got caught at work and lost the job, among other
things. He uses this activity to avoid feelings, distress, lonliness,
etc. When I said that these things show that he has a problem, he said
that his only problem was lack of self control. The usual "I could
stop if I wanted to" argument was made. After days of on-line research
I have found little (secular)information on this issue. At this point
I have no need to pursue trying to convince him, I only want
clarification about when is a behavior such as this considered a
disorder. Thank you for your long involved comment.

---

Clarification of Question by meego-ga on 10 Oct 2002 12:37 PDT

One more important thing: I have no moral/social/political objection
to the subject matter. Only concern about the problems this is causing
in his life.

It is difficult give you specific substantiation for your position
without knowing the "activity" that this individual engages in. Is it
shouting or throwing temper tantrums? Being excessively critical?
Always saying exactly what he thinks ("mouthing off"), even if it is
not socially acceptable behavior for the current setting? Resorting to
physical violence when he gets upset?

The truth is, you DO know he is in self-denial, because "lack of
self-control" isn't a physical problem, it is a psychological one. He
seems to be arguing that his lack of self-control is an unalterable
physical characteristic, like having red hair (sorry, red-heads!) or
having six fingers on each hand instead of five (polydactylism). Lack
of self control is not a physical characteristic, it is a BEHAVIOR,
and the inability to control one's own behavior is a Disorder (i.e.
PROBLEM!).

Granted, a behavior problem may be a SYMPTOM of a physical problem,
such as ADHD or Depression. Your friend should be evaluated by a
qualified physician to determine whether he suffers from one of these,
and he should first be treated for them to see if his behavior
resolves. If this is not the cause, then it is most likely he has one
of the behavioral/personality disorders listed below.

ADHD
http://health.discovery.com/diseasesandcond/encyclopedia/2877.html
"Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a disorder in
which an individual consistently shows certain behaviors over time.
The three categories for these behaviors are inattention,
hyperactivity, and impulsivity...In people who have ADHD, the areas of
the brain that control attention use less glucose than the brains of
other people. This indicates that the areas are less active. The lower
activity level seems to cause inattention. No one knows for sure why
these brain areas are less active...Treatment for ADHD usually
involves medicine along with one or more other strategies."

DEPRESSION
http://health.discovery.com/diseasesandcond/encyclopedia/2847.html
"Depression is a medical condition that leads to intense feelings of
sadness or despair. These feelings don't go away on their own. They
are not necessarily related to a particular life event...Some symptoms
are common in people of all ages with depression. These symptoms
include: · appetite problems · decreased energy · difficulty paying
attention or making decisions · feeling very sensitive emotionally ·
feelings of irritability · feelings of sadness, despair, and emptiness
· inability to feel pleasure · low self-esteem · loss of motivation
and withdrawal from others · pessimism, negativity · sleeping problems
· thoughts about suicide and death...The two most common ways of
treating depression are with antidepressant medicines and
psychotherapy."

DSM-IV
http://www.psychologynet.org/dsm.html
Behavior and personality disorders are classified and described in
DSM-IV, "the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -
Fourth Edition, published by the American Psychiatric Association,
Washington D.C., 1994, the main diagnostic reference of Mental Health
professionals in the United States of America."

PERSONALITY DISORDERS
http://health.discovery.com/diseasesandcond/encyclopedia/704.html
"Personality disorders are chronic mental disorders. People with these
disorders have behaviors that make it hard for them to function in
society. Affected people usually do not learn from mistakes and do not
adapt well to changes in their lives. These disorders usually start
before or during the teenage years."

IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDERS
http://www.brooks.af.mil/web/af/afc/Psychiatry/Impulse%2520Disorder.htm
"Impulse Disorders (termed "Impulse-Control Disorders Not Elsewhere
Classified" in the DSM-IV) involve the inability to resist an impulse
or psychological drive to act in a way harmful to oneself or others.
The six listed in DSM-IV (1994) are:
-Intermittent Explosive Disorder: an inability to resist aggressive
impulses that result in serious physical assaults or destruction of
property
- Kleptomania: an inability to resist recurrent impulses to steal
objects not needed for personal use or monetary gain
- Pyromania: a pattern of firesetting for pleasure, gratification, or
the relief of tension
- Pathological Gambling: recurrent, persistent and maladaptive
gambling behavior
- Trichotillomania: noticeable hair loss due to recurrent hair pulling
that gives pleasure, gratification or the relief of tension
- Impulse-Control Disorder Not Otherwise Specified"

http://www.psychologyinfo.com/problems/impulse_control.html
"...there are several psychological disorders that are defined
primarily by loss of control..."

ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER
http://www.psychologynet.org/apd.html
"There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the
rights of others occurring since age 18 years, as indicated by three
(or more) of the following:
- failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors
as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or
conning others for personal profit or pleasure
- impulsivity or failure to plan ahead 
- irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical
fights or assaults
- reckless disregard for safety of self or others 
- consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to
sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
- lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or
rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another."

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
http://www.psychologynet.org/bpd.html
"A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships,
self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early
adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five
(or more) of the following:
- frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
- a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships
characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and
devaluation
- identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image
or sense of self
- ***impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially
self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving,
binge eating).***
- recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or
self-mutilating behavior
- affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g.,
intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a
few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
- chronic feelings of emptiness 
- inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g.,
frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical
fights)
- transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative
symptoms"

CONDUCT DISORDER (usually applied to individuals under the age of 18)
http://www.psychologynet.org/conduct.html
"A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic
rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are
violated, as manifested by the presence of three (or more) of the
following criteria in the past 12 months, with at least one criterion
present in the past 6 months:
- Aggression to people and animals
- Destruction of property
- Deceitfulness or theft
- Serious violations of rules
The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment
in social, academic, or occupational functioning.
***If the individual is age 18 years or older, criteria are not met
for Antisocial Personality Disorder.***"

With proper diagnosis and treatment from a qualified and competent
psychiatrist, your friend might be able to overcome his lack of self
control "non-problem". However, it is often difficult or impossible to
get someone with a behavioral or personality disorder (as is the case
with your friend) to acknowledge that they have a problem, much less
to seek treatment and be compliant (cooperative) with that treatment.
Perhaps you will be able to persuade him using the references I have
provided.

I really hope that you will find this information to be of assistance.
Good Luck!

Referencing https://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=74822

Since, based on what you say, he has lost a job and damaged or
destroyed one or more of his relationships, his preoccupation with
porn would almost certainly fall under "Impulse Disorders (termed
"Impulse-Control Disorders Not Elsewhere
Classified" in the DSM-IV) involve the inability to resist an impulse
or psychological drive to act in a way harmful to oneself or others."

However, based on what you describe and my own personal knowledge, I
have a very strong gut feeling that his underlying problem is a
medical one -Depression. At this point the medical community is pretty
convinced that Depression is a real medical condition caused by
chemical imbalances in the brain. I have suffered from this in the
past (indeed, I still struggle with it daily, but I take medication
for it and have been doing much better in the last few years). My
escape method of choice was sleep -- I would go to bed for days on
end, not get up other than to eat or use the bathroom, not leave the
house, not talk to anybody. As long as I was sleeping, I got some
measure of relief. But of course, when I awakened, my feelings of
distress, despair, and isolation would return full force -- and
because my behavior jeopardized my work and my relationships, it only
increased those feelings, throwing me even more deeply into
Depression.

People with Depression will frequently try to (unconsciously)
self-medicate themselves by such varied methods as sleeping a lot,
eating too much, abusing drugs, drinking alcohol, gambling, smoking
(this is why Zyban, a.k.a. Wellbutrin, helps people to stop smoking --
once their depression is being treated with medication, they no longer
feel the need to smoke!), or excessive indulgence in some other
substance, such as continually surfing the web, participating in chat
rooms, or viewing porn, to the point where it interferes substantially
with their daily lives.

Of course, the relief is only temporary, because as soon as he pauses
from this activity, those feelings will resurface. As long as he
insists on continuing his self-destructive behavior, he will probably
continue to feel loneliness and distress, and because those two things
feed each other, they will likely get even worse.

You might try asking him if he wouldn't rather try something that
could make those feelings disappear permanently, rather than
temporarily. Wouldn't that feel wonderful?!! Wouldn't it be nice to
have a good, stable relationship with a significant other? Wouldn't it
be nice to have -- and keep -- a job he enjoys?

If he agrees that he would really like to have those things, encourage
him to set up an appointment with a physician who specializes in
treating depression -- most likely a psychiatrist. If you feel up to
it, offer to help him find someone reputable, and to accompany him to
his appointment if the support would make him feel better.

You are wise to realize that he may not be willing to get treatment,
and that his behavior is out of your hands. It is not your
responsibility to (nor is it likely you can) "make" him get better;
only HE can make things better by acknowleding that there is a problem
and doing something about it.

I posted all this as a comment, because I am not an official Google
researcher. But I do enjoy posting information that might be helpful
to people (yeah, EVERYONE's entitled to my own opinion!). It would be
nice if this info helped you to convince your friend to get treatment
-- but I hope that if nothing else, it helps to set your mind at ease.

Best wishes!