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Q: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only) ( No Answer,   6 Comments )
Subject: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
Category: Science > Chemistry
Asked by: julie91-ga
List Price: $3.00
Posted: 10 Aug 2006 12:24 PDT
Expires: 09 Sep 2006 12:24 PDT
Question ID: 754726
i need somebody to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only).it
will be helpful if you tell me what i need to revise and why i need to
do so. Also,  i need you to tell me what i am missing.

here is the objective of the lab. 

* Equipments that can be used during the lab are the following:
(Tirrell burner, rubber tubbing, evaporating dish, 4 beakers, filter
paper, a funnel, watch glass, scoopula, forceps, glass stirring rod,
distilled water, wash bottle, magnet, tape and zip-lock bags.)

*Using the above list of equipments, the objective is to separate the
mixture (containing sawdust, salt, sand, and iron) into four pure
individual components.

*Below is my detailed procedure of this lab. The procedure has to be
very specific. My science teacher is very picky!!*
Step 1. Prepare for laboratory activity by reading all instructions
before commencing the experiment.

Step 2. Long sleeves must be rolled above the wrist. Long, hanging
necklaces, bulky jewelry, and excessive and bulky clothing should not
be worn in the laboratory.

Step 3. Long hair should be confined during a laboratory activity. 

Step 4. Wearing shoes that do not cover the toes, such as sandals in
the laboratory must be prohibited.

Step 5. Safety goggles must be worn during the laboratory activity for
eye protection.

Step 6. Books, purses, and such items should be placed in the
designated storage area. Only laboratory manuals and notebooks should
be allowed into the working area.

Step 7. Eating or drinking in the laboratory or from laboratory
equipment must not be permitted.

Step 8. Laboratory equipments must be inspected before starting the experiment.

Step 9. Place the mixture containing iron fillings, salt, sawdust, and
sand in a beaker.

Step 10. Magnet can be used to remove iron fillings as the iron
attaches to the surface of the magnet.

Step 11. When the iron fillings are completely eliminated from the
mixture, they must be placed inside the zip-lock bag and labeled with
piece of tape supplied.

Step 12. Pour distilled water into the mixture now containing the
following three components: salt, sawdust, and sand.

Step 13. Stir the new mixture until the salt is entirely blended with water.

Step 14. Put a filter paper on the top of the funnel and place a
beaker under the tip of the funnel.

Step 15. The mixture must be poured carefully into the funnel. Thus,
the beaker would contain water that has previously blended with salt
in step 13 and the sawdust and sand will remain on the filter paper.

Step 16. Pour the water blended with salt into the evaporating dish.
Use tirrell burner to evaporate the water. When the water is
completely evaporated, the evaporating dish will only contain salt.

Step 17. Salt must be placed inside the zip-lock bag and labeled with
piece of tape supplied.

Step 18. Since iron fillings and salt are completely removed from the
mixture, the mixture now obtains sawdust and sand.

Step 19. When sawdust and sand are totally dried out, place them
inside the beaker and pour water into the mixture to separate sawdust
and sand based on density.

Step 20. Sawdust should float while sand remains at the bottom of the beaker. 
Scoop the sawdust off the surface with scoopula and place it in another beaker.

Step 21. Let sawdust and sand dry out in two separate beakers. 

Step 22. When the two components are completely dried out, place them
inside the zip-lock bags separately and label each item with piece of
tape supplied.

Step 23. Once the experiment is completed, the weight of each item
should be measured to compare to the original amounts given.
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: pinkfreud-ga on 10 Aug 2006 12:27 PDT
I suspect that you mean "iron filings" rather than "iron fillings."
Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: myoarin-ga on 10 Aug 2006 14:27 PDT
And rubber tubing instead of "rubber tubbing"  

The salt "dissolves" in the water, not "blended".

I would suggest using the magnet to remove the iron filings as a later
step after the salt and sawdust have been removed, or maybe adding a
step with the magnet at this point to be sure that all the filings
have been removed.

Step 21.  You might consider using the burner to dry the sand and
sawdust, and maybe also the filings.
Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: pinkfreud-ga on 10 Aug 2006 14:41 PDT
Instead of "the mixture now obtains sawdust and sand," I would say
"the mixture now contains sawdust and sand."
Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: markvmd-ga on 10 Aug 2006 16:17 PDT
Hunt down and kill any passive voice useage. Replace with active voice
or imperatives.

Examples of what to weed out mercilessly:

a] ...bulky clothing should not be worn...
b] Long hair should be confined...
c] ...must be prohibited.
d] ...must not be permitted.

Replace with "will/will not be" or "is not" as appropriate.
Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: tnosrac-ga on 13 Aug 2006 02:57 PDT
In step 23:
replace "compare to" with "compare against" or "compare with"
Subject: Re: Need someone to proof-read my lab report (procedure part only)
From: redkev-ga on 30 Aug 2006 03:49 PDT
Good report, well done.
A few suggestions. As "equipment" is a collective noun drop the "s".
Point 8 add "any damaged or unclean apparatus must be replaced". Point
10 It may take more than one go with the magnet to separate the iron
completely. Point 12 how much water? too much and it will take for
ever to recover the salt too little and the all the salt will not
dissolve I suggest about quarter fill the beaker. Point 16 add a note
of caution about hot glass and heat the glass dish gently at first.
Point 21 use evaporating dish and not beakers.

I agree with the comment above and would add water first to remove
both the salt and the sawdust (assuming the sawdust will float {some
do not}). The magnet will then give a cleaner separation from the sand
when dry.

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