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Q: How to be with the Love one? Please help ( No Answer,   4 Comments )
Subject: How to be with the Love one? Please help
Category: Relationships and Society > Relationships
Asked by: vegadapirate-ga
List Price: $20.00
Posted: 14 Aug 2006 16:24 PDT
Expires: 16 Aug 2006 11:34 PDT
Question ID: 756001
Hey all, I need some help, before i ask for it, i would like to tell
you what it is all about, I am student myself, and i have a friend who
is just like my brother, who has always helped me with my problems and
today he is in a problem, so i will need your help, he is not very
known to internet, so i asked him to write me what he really seeks and
i will try to get the answer for it, so here is his question and i
hope someone will answer it..



I met this girl back when i was around 4-5 yrs old, back then i didnt
love her or nor i was interested in her, she kept coming at our place
as her mom was very good friend of my mother, she used to come once in
a year ,sometimes once in 2 years, anyway, till age of 12 we didnt
talk to each other at all, but when she came to our place back when
she was 12, we talked a little for first time and at that time i felt
in love with  her, time passed and my feelings for her just remained
even she lived in another country and me in another country and even
there wasnt any chance of meeting her that ofent i still had this
feeling that she is the one i love, time passed and she came when she
was 13yrs 14yrs and then she came when she was 16years old, and when i
met her this time, i totally felt in love with her, it was like love
at first sight, this time i talked to her, she talked to me, and even
she was at my place for 1-2 weeks, i felt in love for her, even she
felt in love with me, but that 2 weeks was the best time of my life
till date, i will never ever forget the moment i felt in love with her
and i found someone that i loved first time.. time passed i didnt see
her 2 years, i moved to another counter and she came there to see us,
she came i told her i love her soo much, she said oh i cant love you,
bcoz we are so far, i do like u very much and i would have loved to be
ur gf, but we have huge distance, that moment my heart broke, i
thought i lost her, i didnt talk to her for 9-10 months at all, time
passed then she came again to see us after 1 and a half year, while
this time i didnt talk to her that much at all 9 months we didnt talk
at all, after that one day i talked to her again on messenger, and
after that one time talk, i started talking to her once agian, and my
feelings started agian, the love i had for her it just rose again in
my heart, she came again to see us, this time she was at my place for
only 7 days, she came this time and i didnt tell her i love her or
anything but i felt she loves i felt the feeling that many of us feels
sometimes when he loves someone, we had another good week together,,
year passed our contact was only on msn we talked to each other soo
much, she became my very close friend, indeed sometimes she said to
me, i like u i miss you..then again she came to see us after 1 year,
this time she was here for 3 weeks, this time i couldnt resist i told
her again i love you, this time she said to me , oh i love you too and
i always loved you from the time we talked first when i was 12yrs old,
this 3 weeks we were together all the time, we forgot that we live far
far away from each other, we loved each other we forgot that after few
days she will leave again, and i got sooo used to her that i thought i
will die if she leaves,, day came when she had to go back , and that
day only god knows how sad i was, anyway nite came and her flight time
came, i had tears but i had to control myself, but yes the time came
and she left and i felt like i lost something someone that was sooo
close to me to my heart that never was, for next 2 weeks i was totally
dead person, i couldnt sleep in my room bcoz i only thought of her and
missed her, i couldnt do anything, i became totally lost in her, i
wrote her emails saying all that i was going through, she said she
misses me too and she had hard time too, just when the 3rd was going
to start, i was so sad that i stopped eating, going out and i was just
totally stressed and depressed, i decided to book a ticket and go, so
i dropped out my school and i went to her place and stayed with her
for 3 months, trust me that 3 months passed so fast that i thought it
was a dream, like i closed my eyes and when i opened it, my date to
leave her was there, again only god knows how i passed thru airport, i
was having tears, i was sad, totally lossing myself, because i couldnt
live without her, but i had to leave bcoz i couldnt live longer than 3
months with her, as i had studies and my visa was expired i came
back,,and my life was miserable i couldnt eat, drink do anything first
1 week, next week i started to get better, after talking to my parents
and telling them how much i love her and how much i miss her,,, and i
love my parents that day, they said to me things that i still
remember, after what they said i became stable once agian and i
started to eat and my life wasnt that horrible,, then i decided to
finish my studies very fast so i can go back to see her, as i was in
Adult Ed, i had only few classes to do, so i thought i will finish it
fast and go see her,, time passed after 1 month she said to me all of
"i dont love you anymore i wanna forget you and so on and on" anyway
to make long story short, she said i dont wanna have any relation with
you anymore" And that day my heart broke, i cried, i wanted to die, i
had sort of 1 week of hell, i was hardly eating, i was hardly sleeping
i was just crying and having horrible time.. but once again thanks to
my family, they helped me and they took me out of house and away for a
week to forget everything and get back normal.. and once agian thanks
to my dad and his love i got good once again i forgot her, but still i
had love for her and i had feeling she will come back to me, " during
all this i called at her place and i cried over phone  and her mother
found out that i love her and she never told her, and i cried and her
mom heard and she was totall upset with me" anyway after 2 weeks she
wrote me a letter, it was very long letter, she asked me to forgive
her, she explained how hard time she had with work, studies and with
her mom and being sick for a while. Before i write to her agian , i
thought if i should go back to her, my mom said dont go bcoz she
hurted u, but her words and my love being soo deep i forgave her and
it was same all again, she was loving me and i was loving her but
agian there was this distance...and i was still in school while she
was in 1st year university, from that day till today we still love
each other but there is this distance of her being away from me.. She
is coming to study here this year, and i am freshman at college, she
is doing her 2nd yeard of university, so i will be with her 1 year but
what about next year?? she will go back, what should i do to be with
her? I need your help friend i need your advise or any help you can
give me so that i can be with her next year. I cannot take this
distance anymore, if you ever loved anyone u will know how it feels
being away from someone u love..
I am not a very rich guy either so that i can be where she is while
being able to afford the cash,,
and i am not in 1st year of university either, so that i could have
applied for a transfer student at country she lives..
I am totally hopeless and i have no idea how to be with my love..
I want your help..
I want a way so that i can be with her together again and forever..
I am not a very active person some say that it is because of my care
free life that i am in this position because i am Lazy
I have no idea what to do?
I really love her and i will really live a hell life if i lose her and
i cannot live without her again 1 year?
Any help would be great..

Thanks in Advance."""""

There you go, please do give a good solution.

I know the sum for this question is not very much, but a friend is in
need of help and i cannot aford a huge sum, but whoever does answer
this i promise i will take his/her name in account and i will post
another message for him/her just so that they can reclaime the cash.


Request for Question Clarification by gregaw-ga on 15 Aug 2006 05:11 PDT
It would help to know what countries you are both citizens of and what
country you would like to live together in.

Clarification of Question by vegadapirate-ga on 15 Aug 2006 06:24 PDT
Hi Guys, thx for replying and adding some comments.

I am Canadian and she is Japanese.
And jackburton-ga thx for adding some comment
but i really love this girl and she loves me too
i cant live without her and i wont leave her 
there r obstacles but i am sure there are solutions
for every problem.

There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: How to be with the Love one? Please help
From: markvmd-ga on 14 Aug 2006 17:06 PDT
Dude's got it bad. 

Isn't this how stalkers get started?
Subject: Re: How to be with the Love one? Please help
From: jackburton-ga on 15 Aug 2006 01:47 PDT
I was madly in love with a girl when I was 16. We dated for a few
years, but  obstacles were to follow. Without being specific, these
"obstacles" were beyond my control at the time. I tried every way to
overcome these obstacles, and even though life later presented me with
a second chance to be with her, the obstacles still seemed
unsurmountable, and despite all my attempts, I was unable to salvage
the relationship. Falling in love at this age is a huge deal
(especially if it's physical), and I have been there. I still think of
my old girlfriend every day, and it is still difficult for me to
comprehend that we are not together, even though we felt so right
together. It sounds like that there is love between you two, but you
are also facing seen and unseen obstacles. I would back off a bit, but
try to keep loose contact. I think you should respect the "forces"
that are keeping you apart; do not aggravate the situation. Send her a
letter or an email once in a while, but don't be too melodramatic.
Just let her know you are thinking of her, give her encouragement in
what she is doing, and be mindful of her emotions. Give this thing a
bit of time, and let it be. Let the girl be guided by her heart. If
it's meant to be, it's meant be.
Subject: Re: How to be with the Love one? Please help
From: vegadapirate-ga on 16 Aug 2006 07:36 PDT
Still No Answer..
Subject: Re: How to be with the Love one? Please help
From: markvmd-ga on 16 Aug 2006 08:50 PDT
There is no Answer, Vegadapirate, and there may not BE an Answer
because, as you will find out as you leave the mantle of your youth
behind and gain experience on that vomit comet we call Life, sometimes
there ain't a solution-- just more problems. The first time you try to
move a hornet's nest, you'll see.

Tell your friend that there is nothing more pathetic than a moping,
whining teenager clinging sadly to his first and last crush. Normal
folks suss to the fact that there isn't anything wrong with them or
the other party, that the overpowering headiness of a hormone-fueled
relationship can be duplicated again, that they are in a forest and
not just surrounded by a bunch of trees.

Go hug a tree.

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